I'm Beginning To See The Light
by SkylarEQuinn
Summary: InkVerse WWII Human AU. When Helsinki is bombed, seventeen-year-old Berwald Oxenstierna's mother takes in mute, sixteen-year-old Tino Väinämöinen, the only survivor out of his entire neighborhood. But as Berwald's feelings for Tino become more complicated than just friendliness, he begins to wonder what he really is to him. And then he begins to wonder what he really means to Tino.
1. Chapter 1

_December 1, 1939, Stockholm, Sweden_

Berwald Oxenstierna wiped his jaw with his towel after shaving his face. He glanced in the mirror at himself. He looked so much older than his seventeen years, but from what his mother said, that tended to run in the family. His father looked much older at a young age as well. He sighed and hung up the towel before walking out of the bathroom.

Berwald rolled his eyes as he could hear his cousin Mathias's loud laugh coming from his room at the end of the hall. He sighed and went to his room, yet the moment his door closed, he heard his mother's horrified scream echo down the hallway.

Mathias had beat him to the living room and was hugging Sigrid Oxenstierna, Berwald's mother, as she cried into his hands in her rocking chair in front of the fireplace. "What's wrong, Aunt Sigrid?" he asked her, voice soft. Berwald almost wanted to scoff at Mathias's tone. Mathias only used a soft voice when talking to Sigrid, claiming that since he was twenty-one, Sigrid was the only person who deserved his full respect.

"Mom?" Berwald softly asked, kneeling in front of the crying woman. He slowly reached his hands up and grabbed hers. His hands were big enough to hold both of hers in one and wipe her tears with the other. "What happened?"

Sigrid looked up at Berwald. "Oh, Ber, Mat," she softly said, hiccuping as she struggled to compose herself. "I'm sorry you boys have to see me like this," she muttered to herself. "It's just horrible."

"What's going on, Aunt Sigrid?" Mathias asked, pulling away. He moved behind the rocking chair to massage her shoulders, seeing that Berwald had her calmed down.

"Those damn Russians bombed Helsinki last night," Sigrid tearfully replied before she started sobbing once more, wrenching her hands from Berwald's grasp to hide her face once more. "So many families destroyed, boys…"

Berwald swallowed the lump in his throat as he thought of the people who were dead, dying, or had lost someone dear to them. He didn't want to think about it, but his mind wouldn't shut off or distract. All he could imagine was children crying, women crying, people dying left and right. It was horrifying. Sure, he had never seen anything like that first-hand, but he had read enough novels to have vicariously experienced the pain of things like that.

"Refugees are being brought over from Finland within the next few days," Sigrid continued. "I know you're not very social or talkative, Berwald, but would you mind sharing your room if there is a boy your age."

"Of course," Berwald softly said, nodding.

Sigrid looked up at Mathias. "Now, Mat, I don't expect you to share your room, but I at least expect you to be kind. You, of all people, should understand how hard this is."

Mathias grimly nodded, face blank and lacking its usual smile. Berwald figured he was thinking of the situation that landed him living with them, which made even him want to frown, yet he knew he had to stay strong for his mother.

"How did I get blessed enough to raise the two most wonderful boys?" Sigrid asked herself. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Berwald's forehead and then leaned back and tilted her head up to kiss Mathias's cheek, the older boy meeting her halfway.

"Just means you did well, Aunt Sigrid," Mathias answered before kissing her cheek in return. He continued rubbing her shoulders comfortingly. "Berry and I will do our best to help you out."

Berwald scowled up at his cousin, yet he didn't correct him for Sigrid's sake, knowing she didn't like it when the two argued. He went back to his neutral expression, which looked a bit like a scowl itself, but Sigrid knew better.

Sigrid sighed and patted the top of Berwald's head. "What would I do without you two?" she asked aloud to no one in particular. "Ever since Ber's father died, it just hasn't been the same. I'm so glad I have you boys to keep me on my toes."

Berwald swallowed hard at the mention of his father's death. Though it had been over ten years, it still hurt as if it had only happened the day before. Yet he felt his pain of losing his father couldn't even compare to Mathias's pain of losing both of his parents at once, and not even being able to say goodbye, not even knowing it was going to happen.

.

A few days later, there was a knock at the door. Sigrid had informed Berwald and Mathias that a Swedish-speaking Finnish refugee would be moving in with them, sharing a room with Berwald. She informed them that he was sixteen, and the only survivor out of his entire neighborhood in Helsinki, traumatised to the point where he had forgotten how to speak, yet he could still understand Swedish and write in it.

Berwald was the one who answered the door. He saw a military official standing there with a short, timid-looking boy.

The boy had large, violet eyes that were nearly hidden beneath his shaggy, blond bangs. He was nearly trembling as he timidly looked at his shoes. His clothes had slight burns on them, which Berwald suspected were from the bomb blasts. The boy wasn't muscular like Berwald and Mathias, by any means. He actually looked like he had a few extra pounds, yet the body type suited him.

"Is Sigrid Oxenstierna home?" the military official asked, looking at a clipboard before looking up at Berwald.

Sigrid appeared behind her son. "That would be me," she answered, moving past him. A look of sympathy crossed her face when she looked at the boy, but only for a brief moment.

The military official nodded to the boy. "Mrs. Oxenstierna, this is Tino Väinämöinen," he explained. "He is the boy we were telling you about. The doctors still have not had a chance to see him yet, but he has an appointment set for next week, on the tenth."

Sigrid nodded. "I understand. Thank you for bringing him." She and Tino were about the same height as she extended her hand to him. "I am very pleased to meet you, Tino," she softly said, "though I wish it were on better circumstances. My name is Sigrid Oxenstierna, and I will take care of you."

Tino lifted his head to look at her, his large, violet eyes sparkling with tears. He nodded, biting his lip. His hands gestured to his neck and then up toward his lips before his two index fingers formed an "X" over his lips, to express the fact that he couldn't speak.

"I know," Sigrid softly told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "No one will expect you to speak here. My son barely talks anyway. I hope you will feel comfortable here."

Tino attempted a weak smile, yet he couldn't hold it for long. His eyes once more returned to his shoes.

Berwald felt bad for him. He wondered what it must be like to have everything be just fine one moment, and then be the only survivor of a bomb blast in your neighborhood the next. He couldn't even imagine it. His instincts told him to comfort his new roommate, yet his body told him not to.

Sigrid ushered Tino into the house and had him sit on a sofa in the living room as she completed the necessary paperwork with the official. She told Berwald to sit in there and keep him company, though Berwald had no idea what to do since he was probably just as talkative as Tino at the moment.

The two teenagers sat there in silence for a few minutes. Tino sat on the sofa and stared at his hands, which were folded in his lap. Berwald sat in an armchair as his fingers itched for the book on the coffee table. He knew Sigrid would let him have it if she came back in and he was reading and ignoring Tino instead of at least sitting with the poor boy.

To Berwald's surprise, Tino picked up the book on the coffee table and inspected the title. It was a collection of Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales that Berwald's father had gotten him when he was younger. It was Berwald's favorite book to read because it reminded him that, yes, there was magic in the world, but that everything still has a price. At least that was what _The Little Mermaid_ had taught him.

Tino looked up at Berwald after inspecting the book. He pointed at it curiously as if to ask if it was his. Berwald nodded to confirm and Tino smiled, pressing the book to his chest fondly to show that he also enjoyed the stories.

" _The Little Mermaid_ is my favorite," Berwald said, the Finnish boy flinching at the sound of his voice. Berwald didn't take into consideration that his voice was deep and gruff and would probably scare someone if they weren't expecting it. "Sorry," he softly said. "I didn't mean to surprise you."

Tino shook his head quickly, wide-eyed as he frantically searched the room. His hands reached desperately for the notepad Sigrid wrote her grocery lists on as his eyes looked for a pencil. Once he had acquired both, he quickly scrawled something down in neat Swedish and turned the pad to Berwald. _It wasn't you. Just about any sudden noise terrifies me at this point in time._ The Little Mermaid _is my favorite as well. Thank you for talking to me, but don't feel like you absolutely have to._

Berwald frowned as he watched the boy bite his lip, looking at the book of fairy tales on the coffee table. He was sad that Tino felt like such a bother to all of them and wanted to assure him that he wasn't, yet Tino would probably insist that Berwald was just saying that. Though talking did put a strain on him sometimes, he didn't want Tino to feel alone.

"You can read it," Berwald quietly said, nodding to the book. "I don't mind. If you enjoy the stories as well, then I would be glad to share it." The book personally made him happy because he remembered his father telling him those stories before he was able to read. He wondered if Tino had an experience like that with his own father or mother, so maybe reading the stories could help him as well.

Tino began to write once more and then turned the pad to Berwald again. _My parents once read these stories to me when I was a child. I know it may sound silly, but maybe reading these again now that I'm older will help me cope better._

So he _had_ been right. "That's why I read them," Berwald answered with a shrug. "No one will judge you for reading them here, Tino. And if they do, tell me, and I'll set them straight."

Tino smiled gratefully as Sigrid walked into the room alone and sat next to him on the couch. He quickly tore his piece of paper from the pad and crumpled it up, slipping it in his pocket, as if keeping their conversation a secret.

"Berwald, thank you for keeping Tino company during all of this," Sigrid said, smiling at her son. "Tino, I'm sure you must be exhausted, so I'll show you to the room you'll be sharing with Berwald. He is very kind, and he's only a year older than you." She then noticed the fairy tale book that Tino was clutching tightly to his chest. "I see you found Berwald's fairy tale book. It's his favorite."

"Don't worry, I'm letting him read it," Berwald said. "He already has my permission."

Sigrid smiled, nodding. "I'm glad to see that you two already have something to bond over. That makes me happy." She sighed, looking down toward the end of the hall where a Danish flag hung on the bedroom door on the very end. "Mathias didn't want to come out of his room and meet anyone today, so I hope you're not offended, Tino. It's nothing against you, and I'm sure he'll like you when he does meet you."

Berwald nodded. "My cousin was in a situation similar to yours when he came to live with us ten years ago," he explained for his mother, knowing it would be hard for her to explain without seeming insensitive.

Tino frowned and nodded to show he understood.

"Please don't take it personally, but he will come meet you when he's ready," Sigrid told Tino. "Until then, you'll have me and Ber. I hope you'll be able to adjust here. I know it's not much, but it's what we call home."

Tino attempted a smile for her and nodded his appreciation to her, which caused Sigrid to smile and made Berwald happy inside. Even if it was a forced smile, it showed that he was at least trying to show he was grateful, which was enough to express hope for the situation.

Sigrid stood and offered Tino her hand. "Here, let's get you settled in Berwald's room, dear." Tino hesitantly took her hand and she led him from the room and to Berwald's, from which she could be heard fussing over the boy and trying her best to make him feel at home and trying to find him clothes to wear.

"Alter some of my clothes if you need to," Berwald called to her. "I have plenty. It doesn't matter which. Let him choose if he'd like to. I don't have any favorites."

After about half an hour, Sigrid came out with a small pile of clothes and a needle and thread. "The poor dear is exhausted. He fell asleep halfway through _The Little Mermaid_."

"Were you reading it to him?" Berwald asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course," Sigrid answered. "I offered to read it to him after he picked out some clothes of yours." She stood up and placed a kiss on her son's cheek. "And thank you so much for offering. You are the sweetest boy in all of existence, you know that?"

"I'm only being a decent human being," Berwald answered, reading the newspaper. It was all about the bombings in Helsinki, and he was starting to get annoyed with it. Wasn't there anything else to talk about? "Tino deserves as much happiness and fortune as I do, right?"

"Well said," Sigrid stated, threading her needle. She sighed as she began to roll up the sleeves of Berwald's old shirts that now belonged to Tino. "These are getting some major alterations. That's for sure. He's so much smaller than you length-wise."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Berwald said. He noticed the dark circles under his mother's eyes and frowned. "You don't look very good, Mother. Would you like coffee?"

"That would be wonderful, Ber," she said, smiling tiredly. It was now that Berwald could tell she hadn't slept since the bombings in Helsinki. It made him worry.

"Please get some rest tonight, Mother," he said. "You will need to start getting proper rest to help with Tino."

"I suppose you're right, Ber," she sighed, setting the shirt down in her lap after pinning it in the places where it needed to be hemmed into place. She sighed. "No surprise there. You take after him, you know. Your father was always right about everything as well, so why wouldn't you be, too?" She smiled fondly at Berwald. "I'm glad you're like him."

Berwald smiled. "I'll go make the coffee, Mother." He went down the hall and gently knocked on Mathias's door.

"Who is it?" Mathias asked.

"It's Berwald," he stated. "Do you want coffee while I'm making it?"

The door opened a crack as one of Mathias's ice blue eyes peered back at him. "Where is the kid?"

"He's passed out in my room," Berwald answered, confused.

"Just bring me a mug, Ber," Mathias sighed before closing the door.

Berwald could detect the tones of stress in his cousin's voice and didn't press the matter any further. Instead, he just let Mathias be rude and went to the kitchen to make the coffee.

It seemed as if the smell of coffee woke Tino up as he trudged into the kitchen about twenty minutes later, half-asleep. He was rubbing one of his eyes as the other violet eye was half open as he seemed to try to make sense of what was going on around him.

"Want coffee?" Berwald asked, pouring the mugs of coffee. "I could pour you some."

Tino blinked a couple times at Berwald as if he didn't notice he was there and then nodded.

"Okay, hold on a moment," he said. "I have to take a mug to my mother and one to Mat. I'll get yours in a moment." He headed to the living room and set Sigrid's in front of her before going and taking Mathias's to him.

Tino had already gotten his coffee by the time Berwald had gotten back, but he hadn't left the kitchen. He was leaning against the countertop and sipping at his coffee, so engrossed in it that Berwald decided to make his footfalls a little louder than normal so Tino would know he was there, which worked. Tino's head snapped up and a small smile made its way to his lips as he gestured to the coffee and nodded to show that he liked it.

"Thank you," Berwald said. "I already add the special stuff as I make it."

Tino nodded as if considering it a good idea. He looked into his coffee mug and smiled.

Sigrid walked in. "Berwald, is there more of the coffee?" She noticed Tino. "I thought you were asleep. How was your nap, Tino? Did you sleep?" Tino yawned a little. "I understand that. Maybe you should try to take another nap in a little bit. Did Berwald wake you up? Was he too loud?" The young Finnish boy pointed to the coffee pot. "Oh, the smell of coffee woke you up? You like coffee?" Tino nodded. "Well there is plenty of it here, so help yourself, dear. Only Mat and I drink it here. Berwald is the one who makes it, though."

Berwald looked away, embarrassed. "It's not like it's that special that I make coffee, Mother," he sighed. "All I do is make coffee."

"But you make it for people other than you, Ber," Sigrid said, standing on her tip toes and kissing his cheek. "Thinking of others first is what makes it special."

"If you say so," Berwald sighed. Tino looked up at him, confused, but he didn't really try to acknowledge anything or take any sides on it. "Now, do either of you want any more coffee?"

Sigrid smiled and handed her empty mug over to Berwald. "Yes, please," she said. "Tino, would you like any more coffee?" Tino eagerly nodded. "Two, please," she said, taking Tino's empty cup and handing it to Berwald, who filled both and handed them back. "I'm glad you're starting to get adjusted, dear."

Berwald smiled to Tino, and he hoped it looked genuine. He hoped it wouldn't scare him away or make him nervous, like it did with most people. All he wanted was to reassure Tino.

Tino smiled back, and that was enough to tell Berwald that he understood. Maybe the situation wouldn't be so bad after all.

.

The next couple days breezed by. Tino would sit with Berwald for a lot of the days, reading or drawing, though he didn't really let Berwald see what he was drawing, which didn't bother Berwald much. And when he was reading, he liked it best when Berwald read aloud to him. He had grown used to Berwald's voice and found it comforting to hear the fairy tales read aloud to him as he laid down on his cot in their room, which Berwald didn't mind at all.

Mathias still hadn't come out of hiding yet to meet Tino, which Berwald didn't really like all that much. He understood that Mathias had some issues, but how much time did he need. He could tell that Tino was uncomfortable with the fact that they hadn't been introduced yet, and it wasn't fair that they hadn't, in Berwald's opinion. It made Tino uncomfortable to live with a stranger, especially one who barely left his room other than to bathe and use the restroom. Berwald couldn't blame him. It's hard to trust someone like that.

Yet things like that were beyond Berwald's control. He knew that. He just hoped Mathias would be comfortable soon. Tino really needed security more than anything. And if Mathias was as mature and "grown up" as he claimed to be, then he should understand that, but maybe even adults still needed time to grow up as well.


	2. Chapter 2

_Early January, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

Berwald woke early one morning before the sun was even up to find Tino reading by lantern shine. He was confused, almost certain that Tino had gone to bed a little while before he did. He made sure to clear his throat to let Tino know that he was awake.

Tino whipped his head toward Berwald and smiled, looking up from the book of fairy tales. He smiled widely, his violet eyes shining brightly. It had been a month since he moved in and he still read that book every day, almost like a coping ritual, but Berwald didn't mind. He was glad Tino had something to help him.

"Good morning, Tino," Berwald greeted. He yawned and stretched, awake for the day. "Want some coffee?"

Tino eagerly nodded, his bangs flopping into his eyes. He made a face and impatiently blew them away. His fingers made a scissoring motion toward his bangs as his face made a pleading expression.

"I'll talk to her about it today," Berwald promised him, chuckling to himself as Tino smiled gratefully. "Do you want me to bring it to you?"

Tino thought for a moment and then nodded as he pointed to the book, showing that he wanted to read more. He then turned his eyes back to the book.

Berwald smiled and patted the Finnish boy on the head before leaving the room and heading to the kitchen. He was surprised to find Mathias in there. "Mathias, what are you doing up this early? You're usually not up until I make coffee. What's going on?"

Mathias jumped and turned to him. "You shouldn't be sneaking around before dawn," he grumbled at him.

"You're the one sneaking around," Berwald stated. "I'm walking. I'm allowed to be awake. What the hell are you doing?"

Mathias glared at him. "What's it to you, Berry?"

Berwald glared at him. "What do you have against Tino?" he asked him. "You still haven't talked to him, and you have no idea how uncomfortable he is about that."

"I don't care," Mathias said, narrowing his eyes at his cousin. "His comfort doesn't matter to me. He's not family, and I was here first."

Berwald glanced over to see Tino standing in the doorway, looking horrified. Every bit of anger he had held back in the past month seemed to have been triggered by the look on Tino's face as he stormed over to Mathias. "Take that back," he snarled. "He lives here just like you do!"

"Do you want to wake your mom up?!" Mathias hissed, glaring at Berwald, but not backing down from his challenge.

"Wake her up!" Berwald hissed back. "See if I give a fuck, Mathias!" He clenched his jaw. If Tino wasn't able to defend himself, then he felt it was his job to defend the poor kid. He checked the doorway for Tino, but the boy was gone. "We never talked about _you_ that way!"

"Because _I'm_ actually a part of this family!" Mathias snarled at him.

"Tino has no family to be a part of anymore, so he _is_ a part of ours now!" Berwald insisted, clenching his fist.

Mathias noticed Berwald's fist. "You really don't want to do that, _Berry_ ," he snarled, knowing how much Berwald hated that nickname.

Berwald threw the first punch. Mathias tackled Berwald to the floor, but Berwald wouldn't be taken down that easily. He rolled over onto Mathias, but both boys had sparred against each other enough times to know every trick the other had up his sleeve.

"Enough!" Sigrid shouted, storming into the kitchen. She kicked Mathias off of Berwald and kept a foot on his chest as he laid on his back on the kitchen floor. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves!" Her eyes narrowed at both boys. "I am _sick_ of you fighting like this! You were doing so well and I demand to know what the fuck happened!"

Berwald huffed as his chest angrily rose and fell. No matter how angry he was at Mathias, he wouldn't throw his cousin under the bus. Neither of them had ever done that to each other, no matter how angry they had ever been. It was a pact they had made when Mathias first moved in ten years before. Mathias glanced over at him as if to remind him of the pact and Berwald tilted his head in the most subtle nod when Sigrid wasn't looking.

"We're boys, Aunt Sigrid," Mathias stated. "What do you expect?"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Mathias Køhler!" Sigrid nearly shouted at him. "Tino is very upset and I want to know what the fuck happened!"

Berwald and Mathias exchanged a look. They had forgotten to mention the agreement to Tino. But Berwald could only blame Mathias for that. It was his fault for refusing to talk to Tino. Since Berwald and Mathias hadn't fought in the past month, he hadn't exactly thought of the pact, so he hadn't thought of mentioning it to Tino at all.

Mathias sighed. "I may or may not have said something that offended Tino if he heard it."

"You bet your fucking ass he heard it, Mathias!" Sigrid nearly shouted. "And you owe him an apology and a greeting and you need to sit down and talk to the poor boy! I will not allow you to hide in your room from him any longer! You are going to talk to him, and I will not accept no for an answer, got it?!"

Berwald knew how serious his mother was and knew there was no way even Mathias could talk his way out of this one. He smirked internally, knowing that for once, Mathias was finally in trouble. Ever since they were children, Mathias had never been in this much trouble.

Sigrid scowled at Mathias. "Now you go straight to Berwald's room, and you apologize to Tino right now! You tell him who you are as well! Don't make me hold your hand while you do it! You are a grown adult!"

Mathias grumbled to himself as he left the room, heading toward Berwald's room. Berwald knew that he still wasn't off the hook, though. Sigrid was still really pissed off, and he knew she was going to try to get what really happened out of him. But remembering the pact, he knew he would never tell. Hopefully Mathias would tell Tino about the pact, so that way Sigrid wouldn't get the real story out of Tino either.

"Ber, do you want to tell me what really happened?" Sigrid asked, crossing her arms as Berwald busied himself making coffee. "Or do I have to ask Tino later?"

For some reason, hearing Sigrid actually say it out loud just made him angry. He almost dropped the sugar on the floor. It wasn't like he wasn't expecting her to say it, but it just made him so mad to actually hear her say it. Berwald's grip just tightened on the handle of the coffee pot as he struggled to keep from trembling in anger.

"Mom," Berwald struggled to say. "Don't. Mathias is resolving it. Please leave Tino out of it."

Sigrid crossed her arms. "If you think you can resolve it among the three of you before dawn, then I won't do it," she stubbornly stated. She gave Berwald a stubborn look to match what she said. "The clock is ticking, Berwald. Make the coffee, and go check on them."

Berwald didn't like her tone, but he did as told and hurried off to his room. He listened in and didn't really hear much. Maybe Tino was talking to Mathias. He rapped on the door slightly and opened it.

Mathias was sitting on Tino's cot with the book of fairy tales lying closed next to him. The lantern gave off a soft glow on the nightstand next to them. He put a finger to his lips as he pointed to Tino's head in his lap. Poor Tino was fast asleep.

"Is he okay?" Berwald whispered.

"I talked about the pact," Mathias told him. "He understands and won't be talking to your mother about it." He sighed. "This poor kid really has been through hell, hasn't he?"

"More than you know," Berwald sighed. "He's told me a little bit, but he doesn't really like to write about it. It makes him sad."

"Yeah," Mathias sighed. "I can see why. He must've been scared if he forgot how to talk." He frowned. "Maybe I really was too hard on the poor, little guy."

Berwald silently nodded. "Do you want coffee, Mat?" He watched as his cousin nodded. "Okay, do you want me to bring it in here or to your room?"

"In here," Mathias answered. "I told Tino I'd wake him up when coffee was ready, so can you bring his in here as well?" Berwald nodded. " _Tack_ , Berwald."

"You're welcome," Berwald answered. He then walked out and poured the coffee for Mathias and Tino. Moments later, he was back with two mugs of coffee. He kicked at the door.

Tino opened the door, smiling at Berwald. He turned and smiled into the room. He then opened the door wider so Berwald could get in. Tino took his mug from Berwald and happily sipped at it, sitting on his cot next to Mathias, who gratefully accepted his mug from Berwald.

"So Mathias told you about the pact, Tino?" Berwald asked. Tino nodded, smiling and giving a thumbs up. "Yeah, I mean if we get out of hand it's okay to get my mom, but don't ever tell her what the fights are over. That's the point of the pact. That way, if you do something my mom wouldn't approve of, then we are under pact and cannot tell on you either."

"So do we have a deal?" Mathias asked, cocking his head to the side after taking a sip of his coffee. Tino eagerly nodded, which Berwald thought was because he was so happy to be included in a family thing. "Good boy, Tino. Glad to have you join us. Welcome to the family, buddy."

Tino's eyes lit up in a way Berwald hadn't seen before. He looked so happy that it brought smiles to Berwald and Mathias's faces as well. His eyes looked purely happy, and it made Berwald so happy to see that after seeing so much loss in them. Those violet orbs just looked so full of life and happiness when they had looked so dull for the past month.

Sigrid stood in the doorway a few minutes later. "So do you boys have this all taken care of?" she asked, eyeing Berwald and Mathias specifically.

"Of course, Aunt Sigrid," Mathias said, flashing her a bright smile. "We're all good. After all, we're men. We all talked it out like men." She gave him a disbelieving look. "What?"

"I'll believe that when I see it, Mathias," Sigrid scoffed.

"It's true, Mother," Berwald said. He looked to Tino. "Isn't that right, Tino?" Tino nodded quickly. "See? There's nothing to worry about, Mom."

Sigrid stared for a moment and then shrugged and walked away. "I'll go make breakfast," she said. "It'll be ready soon."

Berwald smiled as he turned to Mathias and Tino. He was glad the two ended up getting along. He thought Mathias would get along with Tino anyway. But now he knew for sure that they would get along, especially since Tino agreed to the pact. That was an easy way to get along with Mathias. Just do as he asks and prove loyalty, and there won't be a reason for him not to like anyone.

.

"You're not going!" Sigrid shouted late one night later that week, waking Berwald from a deep sleep. He could hear from the distress in her voice that something was terribly wrong.

Berwald looked over at Tino to see that he had been woken up as well. The poor kid was clutching at his chest as if the sound of her sudden shout had nearly given him a heart attack. And it very well could have. It was past midnight! Just what the hell was going on?

Berwald crept out of bed and motioned to Tino to stay where he was. Sigrid was just down the hall, near Mathias's door. She was obviously yelling at him, without giving a damn who she woke up. If Berwald were to bet, he would bet that she wanted him to wake up to side with her, but until he knew the whole situation he wasn't about to take sides at all.

"You think I want you blown to bits like Richard?!" Sigrid shouted.

Berwald froze at the sound of his father's name. That was still a touchy subject for him, even over ten years later. His mother never even said his father's name, so this was obviously a big deal. It could only mean one thing. Mathias was wanting to join the military. She wouldn't say something like that otherwise. Sigrid hated the military ever since her husband died on the battlefield.

Tino was suddenly at Berwald's side. He placed a gentle hand on Berwald's forearm that was reaching out toward the doorknob. He shook his head to Berwald when the young Swedish boy looked at him and tried to lead him back to his bed, but Berwald refused.

"I'm fine," he whispered to Tino before going back toward the door. His hand rested soundlessly on the handle as he listened in more. He had to know more of what was going on before jumping in.

"Look, I'm not Uncle Richard, Aunt Sigrid," Mathias kindly told her. There was a pause. "Please don't flinch away from me like that when I say his name. With all due respect, you said it first." He sighed. "Why are you acting like I'm such a bad person for wanting to give back to a country who gave me a new life?"

"You think the _country_ did that, Mat? _I_ did that!" Sigrid yelled, voice cracking with emotion.

"So you're going to let those goddamn Russians take over Finland, Aunt Sigrid?! You're going to let them get away with what they did to Tino?!"

There was a loud _smack_ and then the slamming of a door. The sound that followed was Berwald's least favorite in the world. It was the sound of his mother's sobs in the hallway.

Berwald couldn't let this go on any further and ran out to hug his mother, who sobbed into his chest. Neither of them said a word for a few moments, but he knew that she would blame Mathias the moment he gave her the chance. He couldn't do that. Because this time, it wasn't Mathias's fault. This time, it was hers.

"Mom, he's right," Berwald said. "He just wants to help Tino's people. He's wanting to join for the right reasons."

Sigrid pushed Berwald away and shook her head in horror. "Not you too!" she struggled to say. "Not my own little boy!"

"I'm not a little boy anymore, Mom. I'm seventeen years old. My best friend saw his entire neighborhood blown to pieces. He will never see anyone in his family again. He's not a little boy either," Berwald stated. "Mathias recognizes that, but he knows that I can't go over there because someone needs to look after you, and that Tino can't go back over there because of what happened. He knows that he can do what needs to be done and come back in one piece. He just figured that maybe, just maybe, you knew that too."

Sigrid stormed down the hall to her bedroom. "It's late. Goodnight, Berwald," she stated through a clenched jaw before opening her bedroom door and slamming it after her.

" _Tack_ , Berwald," Mathias's voice said through his door. "I'm glad you know."

"She'll warm up to it," Berwald said. "And if she doesn't, make her know. Goodnight, Mathias." He headed back to his and Tino's room and shut the door.

Tino stared at him through the soft illumination the lantern was giving off. His face was a dead giveaway of how he felt, but Berwald could see that Tino had done some writing on his notepad. He could make out Tino's neat scrawl as he pushed the notepad toward him and gestured for him to sit on his cot next to him.

Berwald sighed internally. He _really_ didn't want to read what Tino had to say about what he and Mathias had said. His instincts told him he had said too much in Tino's presence, but Tino still insisted, pushing the pad toward him. Berwald sighed and read:

 _Please don't tear your familial ties apart over me. I'm really not worth it. I feel as if ever since I came here, I have been nothing but a nuisance to your family. Maybe I shouldn't have survived that blast if all I'm going to do is make trouble for the only family kind enough to take me in and let me be a part of them. I don't think Mathias should go against your mother's wishes for my sake. What's done is done. There's nothing anyone can do to change what happened to my beloved Helsinki. Please don't cause her anymore hurt. Your mother knows too much heartache already._

"No," Berwald said, shaking his head. "Tino, please don't think that way. If you wouldn't have survived that bomb blast, I wouldn't have my best friend. I would still just sit in my room all day and only talk to Mathias and my mother. Don't think you're not an important member of this household. That's why Mathias wants to do this."

Tino shook his head and pointed to the note. He really didn't want any trouble for the family who had done so much for him already. To him, this was a family of saints, and he wasn't about to have a family of saints torn apart on his behalf.

"Look, how about you write Mathias a note like this in the morning, okay?" Berwald said. "He'll like it better coming from you, and not me."

Tino blankly nodded and gestured to the lantern. He gave a thumbs up and then turned his thumb down.

"Yeah, you can keep it on. It won't bother me." Berwald laid down on his bed. "And Tino, just a heads up so you know, I personally would be devastated if anything happened to you, so don't do anything stupid." He saw Tino nod before he took off his glasses and placed them on his nightstand. "Goodnight, Tino."

.

Tino sat in the kitchen the next morning alone, sipping at coffee. He was drawing when Berwald walked in, and Berwald chose to stay quiet this time. Since Tino seemed so into what he was doing, Berwald didn't think Tino would really notice him walking in behind him, and Berwald _really_ wanted to see what Tino was drawing since Tino never let him see what he was drawing.

Berwald was very careful and peeked over Tino's shoulder, nearly gasping when he saw the drawing. There was so much detail that it almost looked like a photograph. If it wasn't for the graphite smudges, Berwald would've mistaken it for a photograph. But what shocked Berwald wasn't the immense detail, it was the subject of the drawing. It was a very detailed portrait of _him_! He didn't know what to think, but he couldn't look away. Tino had even captured his rare, genuine smile perfectly!

Knowing he would get caught if he remained gawking, he went back to the doorway silently and walked back in loudly, making his presence known. Tino quickly snapped to attention and covered the drawing up, flustered. Berwald just didn't understand it, though. Why would Tino choose to draw him?

"What are you drawing?" Berwald asked, walking over. He decided to play dumb, just to see how flustered he could make Tino, who shook his head, turning a bright red. "I'm not going to laugh or anything." Tino remained vigorously shaking his head. "Okay, if it's that secretive."

Tino looked up at him, face bright red. He puffed out his cheeks indignantly and carried his drawing stuff to their room to hide it. Even Berwald had no idea where Tino hid his drawings. But he just let that happen. It was better than embarrassing Tino if Tino didn't want the drawings to be seen.

"Surely it couldn't have been that bad, right?" Berwald asked, pouring Tino more coffee as he walked in. Tino froze in the doorway and gave Berwald a sharp look that said, "Drop it," which he quickly did. "So how is your day going?"

Tino cautiously walked in and sat with Berwald at the kitchen table. He shrugged as he smiled at Berwald, accepting the second mug. His lips formed a perfect circle as he sipped carefully at the steaming mug. He smiled widely as he swallowed the coffee that only Berwald could perfect.

"Mom hasn't come out of her room yet today," Berwald softly said. He sighed. "I think Mathias and I may have really done it this time. Or maybe she stayed up all night and is finally asleep. I don't know." He frowned. "I just really worry about her. I've been worried ever since my dad died. She hadn't been the same. It makes me really nervous, you know what I mean? All she does is mope around when she thinks we're not looking. It drives me insane. And she refuses to accept help from me and Mat when we offer it to her. I don't know what to do."

Tino took a deep breath and exhaled, thinking. He sat there for a moment, looking deep in thought and then shrugged to show that he ultimately came up with nothing. He frowned to show that he felt bad being no help.

"No, it's okay," Berwald sighed. "It's not your fault. And this has been going on for over a decade, so it has nothing to do with you, trust me." He sighed. "I feel like she's starting to lose it, Tino. Sometimes, I wonder if she even sees me when she looks at me. Half the time, I feel like she thinks she's looking at my dad…"

Tino frowned and put a hand to his heart before scribbling something down on a notepad. _You look like your father, too? My mother would always call me "Yan", which was my father's name. Or she would call me "Wolf", which was my older brother. I was never "Tino"._

Berwald frowned when he read it. "Well here, you get to be 'Tino'. You'll never be 'Berwald' or 'Mathias'. You'll never have to live in the shadow of either of us. Because here, Tino is a really special person. And if anything, it's me or Mat who will be called by _your_ name."

Tino smiled, comforted by Berwald's words. _I'm glad to hear that, Berwald. Even though you don't talk too much, you still always have the perfect things to say when you do._

Berwald smiled. "Well I'm glad that someone thinks so, Tino."

Berwald had grown so accustomed to Tino that he felt as if the Finnish boy had always been around. It felt weird to think that Tino had only been with them for a month instead of for most of, if not all of, Berwald's life. He really liked Tino's company, and he really hoped Tino enjoyed his just as much.


	3. Chapter 3

_Late January, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

Berwald smiled as he finished combing his hair. Tino was right next to him, running a brush through his own hair. The Finnish boy was standing on his tip-toes, trying to see himself in the mirror. Since Berwald and Mathias were so tall, Tino usually had to pull up a stool to stand on to look in the mirror in the bathroom they all shared.

Berwald kicked Tino's stool over. "Here ya go," he said, grinning.

Tino puffed out his cheeks a little, giving Berwald a frustrated look before stepping onto the stool and finishing brushing out his hair. He hated it when Berwald or Mathias pointed out the very obvious height difference between them and him. His gaze went to Berwald through the mirror in a violet glare that was supposed to be intimidating, but couldn't be anywhere near it while he stood on a stool and still wasn't as tall as him. He silently sighed and stepped down, kicking the stool back to the corner.

"What's wrong, Tino?" Berwald asked as they walked out and to the living room.

Tino, suddenly frustrated, turned around and started throwing weak punches into Berwald's chest and arms. He didn't want to hurt Berwald, by any means. It was just something he did to show Berwald when he was frustrated with him. He sighed when he was done, taking a deep breath and stepping back. His back touched the wall and he leaned heavily against it.

"You're that mad about me helping you out with the stool this morning?" Berwald asked, confused.

Tino glared up at Berwald for a moment before grabbing his notepad out of his back pocket. _It's not just THIS morning, Ber! It's EVERY morning! You ALWAYS do this! I may be short! I may be mute! But I'm NOT helpless!_

"I never said that you were," Berwald said, backing away. He noticed that Tino's face was red, and he knew better than to argue with Tino when he was like this. "I'm going to give you your space and find something to go do to help my mom, okay?" He quickly evaded the situation, leaving Tino blinking in surprise in the hallway.

Sigrid was in the kitchen doing dishes. "Berwald, could you help me with these? I can't reach the mug rack, it's too high."

"Of course," Berwald said, walking over. "At least you appreciate my height," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Sigrid asked, handing Berwald a clean mug to dry and hang above them. "Are you and Tino fighting? You need to be kind to him."

"I'm trying, but he got offended by my kind gesture today," Berwald said. He scrubbed at the mug with the towel so hard that it began to squeak.

"Careful," Sigrid warned. She sighed. "Just be gentle with Tino. He's very sensitive, Berwald. You know that." She gave Berwald a sharp look when he sighed. "You best be listening to me."

"I am," Berwald muttered. He sighed as he hung up the mug, being sure that it was hanging so it wouldn't drop and shatter. He noticed that it was Tino's favorite mug and suddenly wanted to be even more careful with it. "I just don't understand why he gets so mad at me but no one else."

"It's probably because you two are about the same age, so he feels like he can confront you easier than Mathias or myself," Sigrid answered. She scrubbed at the next mug. "Please don't be angry with him, Berwald. He's a sweet boy, and he doesn't understand that you're not making fun of him. Now Mathias, we both know, is making fun of him. When is he not trying to make fun of people? But that's just Mathias. That's not you, though."

Berwald silently nodded. "It's just frustrating that he has to take it out on me."

"I know it is, dear," she sighed. "But remember that he's probably only doing that because he's uncomfortable with doing that to me or Mathias." She handed him the next mug for him to dry and hang. "And let's face it, Mathias can be a little mean at times."

"A little?" Berwald scoffed, smirking at Sigrid.

Sigrid smiled back at her son. "There's my Ber," she said, a fond look in her eyes. "I was beginning to wonder where you went." She began to scrub at another mug. "You're always so serious these days. Berwald, I have to ask you something."

"What's that?" Berwald asked, reaching up to hang up the mug.

"What do you really think of Tino?" she asked. "As in really think? I know that if it were anyone else getting frustrated with you, you wouldn't care. So what makes Tino so different from everyone else?"

The mug Berwald was hanging up slipped from his hand, but he quickly caught it with his other before it could fall and shatter. "What are you saying?" he asked, shocked. "Surely you're not suggesting that I'm…"

Sigrid looked at him. "Are you certain that you're not?"

Berwald felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest. "What brings this up all of a sudden?"

A smile broke out on Sigrid's face. "Oh, Berwald, you were always so easy to fluster," she laughed. "I am only teasing! You should have seen your face!"

Berwald scowled and hung up the mug. "You're not funny, you know," he grumbled at her. He sulked a little, but then wondered why he was so offended. He also wondered how she had made him question himself so easily.

Sigrid handed him another mug to dry and hang. "You know, you don't get flustered easily. Perhaps this is because you are already preoccupied with trying to figure out how to solve things between you and Tino? I think he just needs his space for a bit is all." She sighed as the front door opened and shut. "He's probably going to go and get some fresh air is all. Either that or Mat is going to get the firewood I asked him to get yesterday."

Tino walked into the kitchen and began to go through their junk drawer, a look of determination on his face. He looked as if he were on a mission and didn't want to be bothered. His eyes scanned over every item until he triumphantly pulled out a rubber band and looped it around his index and middle fingers.

"What are you doing with that, Tino?" Sigrid asked, turning to him. She dried her hands off on her apron.

Tino held up the index finger that was not looped into a rubber band. He then used that hand to pull out a small, folded piece of paper. His fingers folded it gently around the rubber band as he pulled back and aimed it at Berwald. He narrowed his violet eyes and aimed before letting the piece of paper fly free.

Berwald felt a sharp sting as the paper hit him right in the middle of his forehead. "Ow! What the hell?" He rubbed at it. "How did you hit me that accurately from across the room with a makeshift rubber band slingshot?"

Tino smirked at Berwald and loaded it once more with another small piece of paper. He aimed again and pulled back before letting it fly free to hit Berwald right above the bridge of his glasses.

"Tino, what is your problem?" Berwald asked.

Tino just smiled and tucked the rubber band into his pocket before leaving the kitchen.

"I think that was him settling the score, dear," Sigrid laughed. She had laughed the whole time, enjoying the scene between the two boys. "That boy has some magnificent aim if I've ever seen it."

"You've got that right," Berwald sighed. He picked up the pieces of paper to see some words scrawled on them in Swedish in Tino's handwriting. _It's okay. I forgive you._ He smiled to himself. "Yeah. Forgiveness," he scoffed to himself, rubbing his forehead.

"What was that, dear?" asked Sigrid, who had gone back to washing the dishes.

"Nothing, Mother," Berwald answered. "Is that all you needed me for?"

Sigrid nodded. "That's all. Why don't you and Tino go help Mathias with the firewood?"

"Okay, I'll get him," Berwald said. He smiled and went to his room to get Tino, almost certain that's where Tino was. He opened the door to find Tino drawing once more.

Tino was smiling at his drawing and looked up to see Berwald. He quickly covered up the drawing and stared at Berwald as if to ask what he wanted, though he couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks, which made Berwald wonder if he was drawing him again.

"Mom wants us to go help Mathias with firewood," Berwald said. "So could you get your coat and stuff? I'll meet you at the door." He closed the door so Tino could hide his drawings.

As he waited by the door, lacing up his snow boots, he began to think more into it. Why would Tino want to draw him? Why would Tino secretly draw him? Why did he care that Tino was drawing him anyway? Why did it matter at all? Tino could draw whatever he wanted, so it shouldn't matter at all. But why was it plaguing his mind?

Tino joined Berwald at the door moments later, tugging on his coat. He slipped his feet into his boots and quickly laced and tied them, smiling up at Berwald when he was done.

"Ready?" Berwald asked, pulling on his hat and gloves.

Tino nodded, doing the same. He opened the front door and stepped outside, motioning for Berwald to follow. It was snowing, which made him smile widely and run out into it, smile growing even wider.

Berwald watched him, smiling. He loved how enthusiastic Tino could be about the little things. He wished he could be the same, but he forgot when he lost that kind of innocence in his life. Maybe it was when his father died. He just couldn't remember exactly when.

"Hey! Did you come out here to help me or do some weird snow ballet?" Mathias called to them from the wood pile at the side of the house.

Berwald grinned as he saw Tino turn bright red. "We're coming," he said. He looked to Tino and nodded to the side of the house where Mathias was. He noticed Tino's cheeks and nose were a rosy red when he joined them at the wood pile. Whether that was from the embarrassment or cold, he would never know.

Mathias was handing them pieces of dry wood. "Here, carry these into the house. Try not to let too much snow get onto them." He smiled at Tino. "Got that, Thumbelina?"

Tino turned three shades of red before rushing off with the wood.

"Do you have to be so mean?" Berwald asked, chuckling. He couldn't help but laugh, but he still felt sorry for Tino. "Come on, Mat."

Mathias laughed. "Oh, he knows I was just kidding." He picked up some dry wood as well. "Come on, Berwald. Let's take this wood inside."

Berwald knew what was coming for Mathias when they got inside and put the wood down, but Mathias was completely unaware after he shrugged off his coat. There was an almost _zing_ noise as a piece of paper flew through the air and hit Mathias between the eyes.

"What the hell?!" Mathais asked, rubbing between his eyes. "What just hit me?"

"You shouldn't make fun of certain people when they have great aim," Berwald said. "They come after you. I learned my lesson this morning."

"Wait, Tino did that? Where the hell is he?" Mathias looked around wildly, but Tino was nowhere to be seen. "There is no way Tino could have sniped me! He doesn't even have anything to snipe me with!" He went down to Berwald and Tino's room and opened the door to find Tino reading the book of fairy tales. "See, Berwald? He's just in here reading!" He walked back to the living room. "He was just reading your fairy tale book, Berwald."

"Which one was he reading?" Berwald asked.

Mathias thought back. "You know, I didn't really see."

"Maybe it was _Thumbelina_ ," Berwald suggested.

Mathias stared at him and ran back to Tino and Berwald's room. He took the book from Tino, who was silently laughing. "Son of a bitch!" he yelled as he saw the title of the fairy tale Tino was reading.

Berwald stood in the doorway. "You asked for it, Mathias," he simply said. "Ask and you shall receive, right?"

Tino grinned at him from his cot. His smile made Berwald's heart pound for a moment, much to Berwald's surprise. He kicked his feet as he silently giggled to himself.

And this was a moment when Berwald was so happy to be a part of this household. This moment was a moment when Berwald was glad to claim Mathias as his cousin and Tino as his best friend. He was more than happy to have moments like these.

.

The next morning, Berwald woke early again to find Tino drawing in the kitchen by lantern shine again. He was extra silent this time as he crept in to see what Tino was drawing. It was the second time he had done this, and he wondered if it was someone other than him.

He peeked over Tino's shoulder, and was surprised to find that it was him again. This drawing of Berwald was of him in his coat and hat, pulling on his gloves as the wind blew his hair every which-way. His eyes widened when he realized that Tino had drawn himself in the picture this time as well.

In the picture, Tino was standing next to Berwald, tugging on his own hat, his gloves already on. He was smiling up at Berwald, a look of fondness and admiration in his eyes. It was a look like the one Berwald's mother once gave his father.

Berwald's jaw dropped when he saw all the detail and was scared that Tino would notice him at any moment, so he silently crept back to the doorway and made a lot of noise entering, like he did the time before. He watched as Tino immediately covered the drawing with anything he could find in sight, face looking panicked and flustered.

"Hey, are you okay?" Berwald asked him, looking concerned. "You seem a bit, panicked."

Tino nodded, trying to gather all of his pencils and papers without letting Berwald see any of it. He looked up at Berwald and pointed to the coffee maker with a pleading expression.

"Yeah, I'll make some coffee for you," Berwald said with a warm smile. He thought he saw Tino turn crimson as he turned away, but he wasn't sure. Whatever he thought he saw, it made his heartrate speed up in his chest. What was going on?

He busied himself to keep his mind off of it. He measured out the perfect amount of cream and sugar for the coffee before making it. His mind kept going back to Tino's drawing. Why would he draw the two of them like that? Why would he draw himself looking at Berwald with that expression on his face?

Tino walked back into the kitchen after cleaning up his art supplies and picture a few minutes later. His face had returned to its normal color and it had its usual smile on it. He looked like his usual cheery self, which made Berwald happy that he wasn't so panicked and flustered. He leaned easily against the counter and watched the coffee brew.

"You know, I've heard a phrase that a watched pot never boils," Berwald began. "Maybe in this case, it never brews."

Tino looked up at him, eyes wide as he smiled. He seemed amused by Berwald's joke, much to Berwald's relief. His smile was contagious and soon Berwald was smiling as well.

"I've never really had a taste for coffee, but I guess I sure know how to make it, huh?" Berwald asked, smiling. His smile turned proud as Tino reached up and patted his shoulder in a congratulatory way. "Thank you, Tino. I appreciate it."

Tino grinned and bowed his head as if to say, "You're welcome." He smiled up at Berwald and shook his head as he gently bit his lip.

"What are you thinking, Tino?" Berwald asked. "You know, sometimes I wish you could talk. I wish I knew you when you still had a voice. Do you remember what your voice sounded like? Was it higher or lower?" He held one hand up higher than the other as a measuring way.

Tino thought for a moment and placed his hand near the middle, but more on the higher end. He looked up at Berwald, blushing.

"Your voice was more on the higher side? That's nothing to be ashamed of, Tino," Berwald said. "I remember when my voice was high. It only got lower a few years ago. I think I was about fourteen when my voice changed." He tried to think back. "And you're sixteen. But yeah, there's nothing to be ashamed of if you have a voice on the higher side. Just means you can sing tenor."

Tino smiled at the compliment, putting a hand over his heart.

"Can you sing, Tino?" Berwald asked. "Well I mean, did you used to be able to sing before you lost your voice?" He smiled as Tino nodded. "Well here's to hoping you'll be able to sing when you get it back."

Tino got out his notepad and began to write. _You sound so hopeful and confident in me. Do you really think I'll get my voice back, Berwald?_

"I do," Berwald told him. "Why wouldn't I?" He watched as Tino shrugged. "Maybe it's like _The Little Mermaid_ or something. Maybe you'll get it back after 'True Love's Kiss' or something stupid like that."

Tino blushed and then wrote once more. _Do you really think true love is that stupid, Berwald?_

Berwald read it and looked at the almost hurt expression on Tino's face. "True love? Of course not, Tino. But let me tell you something, I don't think it's the same as depicted in stories. The way I see true love is how I saw it in my parents. You know, things like nitpicky fights over stupid things but kissing to make up. Worrying about each other's well-being even when you're more angry at the other than you've ever been in your life. Things like that. That's what I personally believe true love is. True love isn't all about kisses and living happily ever after, because sometimes there isn't one. I mean, living happily ever after sounds amazing and I want that so badly, but sometimes stories end like _The Little Mermaid_."

Tino nodded his understanding. He frowned a little when he heard the ending of it, though.

"I mean, I know it's not easy to hear, but sometimes life is like that. You of all people should know that life gives us heavy blows," Berwald said. He watched Tino nod and begin to tear up. "But then life can help us pick ourselves back up again."

Tino scrubbed at his eyes with his sleeve and suddenly hugged Berwald, silently crying into his chest for a few moments. He hadn't done this since the week he had moved in with them, but now it was like he had fallen apart all over again. Berwald was worried that he had until Tino pulled away, composed, and began to write on his notepad. _You and your family has helped me become who I am today, and I am eternally grateful to all of you. I cannot even begin to express how good you all have been to me in my time of need._

"It's because we care about you, Tino. When we opened our home to you, we opened our hearts as well." Berwald smiled at him as the coffee finished brewing. He poured a mug for Tino and handed it to him. "So when you draw, do you just draw what inspires you?"

Tino nodded, smiling. He wrote on his notepad. _I draw what I cherish the most, what I love the most. Things like that. Sometimes I draw things I desire the most. I know it sounds stupid. Sometimes my drawings are what my heart truly desires the most in the world._

"That doesn't sound stupid at all," Berwald said, trying to figure out where he fit in on that wide spectrum of things he named off. Surely he couldn't be what Tino's heart desired. Tino wasn't like that, and he certainly wasn't like that. At least, he was almost certain he wasn't like that. "If that's what you like to do, then do it. No one should ever stop you from doing something that makes you happy. Especially if you're doing it in a way like that."

Tino shrugged and silently sighed. He sipped at his coffee and frowned into the mug as they sat together at the table. He blew on the steaming beverage as he took careful sips, trying not to burn his lips or the inside of his mouth.

"Tino, may I ask you another question about your drawings?" Berwald hesitantly asked. He tried not to sound as nervous about it as he felt.

Tino looked to him, violet eyes confused, but shrugged and nodded.

Berwald held his breath for a few moments before deciding not to even beat around the bush. He had to just come out and say it, or just not even say it at all. "Why do you draw me?"

It all happened so fast. The sound of the chair hitting the floor. The sound of the mug shattering on the tabletop. The burning sensation of hot coffee on Berwald's feet. But most of all, the look of betrayal and horror in Tino's eyes as he stared at Berwald like a deer in headlights from across the table.


	4. Chapter 4

Berwald regretted asking Tino the moment it came out of his mouth. The look on Tino's face said it all. He was horrified and betrayed. Berwald had never seen Tino look so upset. Sure, he had seen Tino grieving, but this was a whole new form of upset. This was the kind of upset that comes after breaking trust with someone that you thought you could trust with your life. It was the ultimate form of betrayal.

Tino shook his head, almost as if trying to convince himself he had heard Berwald wrong. As if maybe if he shook his head enough, then he could go back to before Berwald had asked that question, before Berwald had known that he had drawn him. Yet every time Tino looked at Berwald, he became more and more upset. His violet eyes threatened to overflow with angry tears, but he refused to let them. Not in front of Berwald. That was the last thing he could let himself do!

"Tino?" Berwald asked, concerned. He didn't know what to do. He was worried when Tino's face was starting to look almost purple. His protective insticts were starting to kick in. Was Tino not even breathing? "Tino, breathe."

Tino virgorously shook his head, gripping his hair tightly in both hands. He didn't know what to do! When had Berwald seen the pictures?! How long had he known?! He felt like he couldn't breathe! This wasn't good! His panic was taking over his body, and he didn't like it at all!

"Tino, breathe," Berwald said more sternly. "It's okay. Everything is okay." He walked over to Tino and pried his hands out of his hair. "Tino, take a deep breath and calm down. I know you can do it."

Tino looked at the blond strands of hair he still clutched in his fists and then looked up at Berwald through blurry eyes. He felt like he was falling apart. His hands grabbed his notepad and jotted down a clumsily-written note in it. _Why am I always the one to fall apart?_

"You're not," Berwald answered. "I fall apart at times too, Tino. It just means you're stronger than me if you fall apart. Only the strong fall apart because it proves they've been strong for too long."

Tino blinked at him a few times and then turned on his heel and fled the room. The slam of their bedroom door was an indicator of where he went. He was just so frustrated that Berwald knew he had drawn him.

Berwald set to work on cleaning up the coffee mess that Tino had made. He was still so confused. Tino had never answered the question he had asked and the scene he made had made him even more confused than before. Why couldn't Berwald understand Tino at all? Why couldn't Tino just express things like a normal person? Why was he so complicated?

"Berwald, why is Tino slamming doors so early in the morning?" Sigrid asked, walking into the kitchen. She noticed the broken coffee mug in the trash. "Who broke that?"

"He did," Berwald grumbled to himself, feeling stupid for even asking Tino why he drew him. "I surprised him and he got really mad at me. It's fine, Mom. Just please go back to bed. I can handle all of this."

"Berwald, what's wrong?" Sigrid asked. She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall as she watched her son mop up the coffee. "Something seems odd about this morning. What happened between you and Tino? How did you surprise him, and what made him so angry with you?"

"With all due respect, I would rather not get into that right now," Berwald sighed. "Please don't make me do that." He frowned and began to scrub at the floor. "Just go check on him instead, okay? He needs it more than I do."

"You always hide your feelings, Berwald. You suffer quietly," Sigrid said. "Mathias was always more vocal than you about his feelings. Hell, even Tino is more vocal than you, and he doesn't even have a voice! I know I didn't raise a robot! Show some emotion for once, Berwald! Prove that you are capable of it!"

Berwald blinked in surprise, looking up at his mother. He had no idea she felt that way. Did she really think he had no emotions all because he didn't show them like Mathias did? Did she really think he didn't care or was indifferent to everything because he wasn't as open about expressions the way everyone else was? It wasn't like it was his fault. It's just the way he was. It was the way he always had been. He didn't really know how to respond to that, so he put his head back down and went back to cleaning.

"See?!" Sigrid asked. "You're doing it right now! You're being indifferent! Nothing ever fazes you! Nothing ever did! Let _something_ affect you, Ber!"

Berwald blinked a few times before throwing the rag on the floor and storming from the kitchen. He went to his room and threw open the door. "I need to talk to you," he said, pointing to Tino, who looked startled and flustered and scared and confused all at once. He slammed the door behind him, causing Tino to jump.

Berwald's heart was racing and he was so overcome by emotions. He didn't know what he was thinking or feeling or anything. His mind was on autopilot, along with his body. He was strictly following the orders of his heart, something his mother had wanted him to do, something he should've done from the start when it came to Tino.

He was breathing heavily, but he didn't notice as he crossed the room to Tino, who was sitting on his cot, trying to make himself seem as small as possible. Berwald didn't realize how deep his desire for Tino was until he let himself feel it. He never noticed how beautifully violet Tino's eyes were or how perfectly rosy his cheeks were when he blushed. It was as if he were seeing Tino in an all new light that made him a billion times more beautiful than he could have ever imagined another human ever looking!

Before Berwald realized what was going on, he grabbed Tino by his hands and pulled him to his feet. Tino was biting his lip, frightened, his eyes wide and terrified. Berwald simply cupped Tino's face in his hands and smiled at him, causing the look in Tino's eyes to change from terror to wonder and awe. He then pressed his lips to Tino's forehead in a comfortingly calm way.

Tino gazed up at Berwald for a moment when he pulled away. His eyes became wider when he realized that Berwald had kissed his forehead. He shook his head and wrapped his arms around his neck. He then pulled Berwald down to his level and kissed his lips passionately, with everything he had.

Berwald's eyes widened for a moment before he realized that he was kissing Tino. Everything else in the world slowly melted away. All colors faded into black and white as he wrapped an arm around Tino's waist and pulled him closer. He had never kissed anyone before, but kissing Tino like this felt more right than anything in the whole world. It made him feel like everything made sense.

Tino finally pulled away and slowly opened his eyes to look up at Berwald. His violet eyes looked more beautiful to Berwald than he had ever seen them look. He blushed deeply and then kissed him softly on the cheek before sitting back down on his cot.

Berwald blushed as well and sat on his bed. He smiled at Tino. "Wow," he finally breathed out. He hadn't realized how out of breath he was until that moment. "That was something." He didn't really know what to say, so he sat in silence and tried to catch his breath. His heart was racing madly in his chest, but he had never felt this alive.

Tino got out his notepad and began to write, but his hands were shaking so hard he could barely write. It took awhile, but he finally managed to write something. _Now do you understand why I draw you, Berwald?_

Berwald smiled. "I just wish I would've figured it out sooner," he softly said, blushing. "I'm just a little slow on the intake is all." He sighed. "You're a fantastic artist, Tino. I really like the drawings you've done of me."

Tino smiled and blushed a little. He looked at his hands in his lap, fidgeting a little as he blushed a little more. He shrugged and played with his bangs slightly, biting his lip.

"You're very humble, but I know you know you're a good artist," Berwald said. "You're the best artist I've ever seen." He grinned. "I mean it, Tino. I don't give false compliments. I tell it like it is. And I'm honored that you draw me."

Tino blushed and wrote again on his notepad. _Berwald...For the past few months, you're all that I draw…_

Berwald blushed deeply. "Show me," he said.

Without another word, Tino lifted his mattress from his cot and got out many pieces of paper, all covered with drawings of Berwald, each as detailed and beautiful as the drawings Berwald had seen. Some included Tino in them. There were even a few that featured Sigrid and Mathias, which made Berwald smile. Yet each one had Berwald in it somewhere, except for one.

There was one picture that had Tino with a woman and a man and a boy who looked like an older Tino. Berwald guessed they were Tino's family. The older-looking Tino must be his older brother Wolf, and the man and woman must be his parents. It made Berwald smile when he saw it.

"Is this your family?" Berwald asked, pointing to the picture.

Tino smiled sadly and nodded. He got out his notepad and wrote. _That's me, my mom, my dad, and my older brother Wolf. Wolf is two years older than me, but we never really got along all that well. Oh well, though. I miss them a lot, and looking at this picture helps. I think it's the best picture I've ever done._

Berwald smiled. "I'm glad. It's beautiful, Tino. They would be so proud."

Tino smiled thoughtfully as he wrote. _My mother was always so proud of my artwork. She said one day I would go places with it. I wanted to be a designer one day or something like that. I don't know. I guess I just have big dreams._

"There's nothing wrong with that," Berwald told him. "It just means you have goals. I've never really thought that far in life."

Tino smiled and watched as Berwald looked through his drawings, blushing whenever Berwald found the shirtless ones he drew of him. He took a lot of time making sure he got Berwald's abs right. He made sure to notice every time Berwald was shirtless and paid great attention to his muscles to make sure he drew them just right.

"I'm very impressed," Berwald said, handing Tino's drawings back to him once he finished looking at them. "You have art to be proud of. I suggest you do something with it."

Tino nodded absently. _I think I should find more models to draw. I might need to find a female one as well. Do you know any beautiful females who would pose for me?_

Berwald thought for a moment. "I honestly don't really know anyone," he admitted. "I'm homeschooled, so I don't even know anyone from school." He shrugged. "But I'm sure we could go into town and possibly find someone. What do you say?"

Tino's eyes widened. _We can wait to do that. I'm content with drawing just you and your family for now._ He blushed and got out a clean sheet of paper and began to sketch a little.

"What are you drawing now?" Berwald asked. He just watched as Tino put up a finger on the hand that wasn't drawing, his hand drawing an outline of two figures, connected at the mouth, the smaller one with their arms around the taller one's neck. His eyes watched in amazement as Tino slowly fleshed them out to resemble the two of them as they kissed. "Wow," he whispered as Tino shaded their faces in. "You are amazing."

Tino blushed and put a finger to his lips as he continued with his drawing. He was so into his drawing that nothing else seemed to exist. His hands were like magic, drawing a beautiful portrait that was so beautiful to both of them that it was like a black-and-white photograph.

"Tino," he admirably said, eyes wide and excited. "You're amazing." He moved to sit next to Tino. He felt his thigh brush against Tino's and was so scared he had messed up the drawing, but he didn't. "Just wow!"

Tino, feeling like Berwald had done enough talking for that moment in time, pressed his lips to Berwald's to get him to stop talking. He then went back to drawing as if nothing had happened, leaving the older boy speechless. He stuck his tongue out slightly, focusing on his drawing and trying to figure out what more would need to be done to it.

"It's perfect," Berwald told him. He almost laughed when Tino put a finger to his lips to shush him. "Ah, come on, Tino," he said around the Finnish boy's finger. "Your drawings are great. You really should go into design."

Tino silently sighed and looked at the drawing. He shrugged and shook his head with a click of his tongue. Berwald understood that immediately. It was a "no".

"Why wouldn't you do that?" Berwald asked. "I'm good with my hands. Maybe I could make something you design?"

Tino looked at him curiously before writing. _Like a sculpture? If I design you could manufacture? Could that work, Berwald? I would be honored if you could help me out with that. We could make a great team!_

"I think so as well, Tino," Berwald agreed with a small smile. "I've seen your drawings, and I think I could probably recreate them with carvings or something if I worked hard enough to." He thought for a moment. His father had taught him how to carve things out of wood when he was younger, so he could use that skill to make wooden sculptures of some of Tino's drawings if he could try to draw them from every angle, which Berwald knew he could easily do.

Tino's face had a new light to it. He was excited and joyful and proud. His pictures had some new artistic features to them, like almost a glowing feature to their smiles and faces, but maybe it was just them glowing and the light in their eyes. He sketched more and then looked up at Berwald as if asking his approval.

Berwald examined the picture. "This is amazing!" he exclaimed. "I like it a lot!"

Sigrid opened the door. "What are you two doing?" she asked. "Is everything all right?"

Tino snatched the picture from Berwald and put the picture he drew of his family over it, pointing to it as if showing Berwald a certain aspect of it. He didn't make it look at all like there was any other picture at all.

"Yeah, Tino's just showing me a picture of his family that he drew," Berwald answered. "I apologized to him for what I did. We're getting along very well now."

Sigrid smiled warmly. "That's wonderful. I'm glad you two are back to being friends again." She walked in. "May I have a peek?"

Tino turned the picture toward her and pointed to each person with a smile as if explaining who was who. He was so happy to be showing off the picture that he almost seemed to be bouncing.

"Tino, this drawing is amazing! I had no idea that you were such a talented artist!" Sigrid smiled widely. "So this must be your mother, father, and older brother?" Tino nodded and she patted his head. "I am so happy that you showed me this! Thank you!" She kissed his forehead. "You're a great boy, Tino! And I'm so proud of you!"

Tino smiled proudly and accepted her praise. He looked fondly at the picture. The more he looked at it, the more he noticed he and Wolf looked a lot alike. He couldn't help but wonder that if Wolf had survived instead of him, would Berwald have kissed Wolf today instead? Just the thought of it almost made his blood boil with jealousy.

"Are you okay?" Berwald asked after Sigrid left. He glanced at Tino curiously. "You seem angry, but I don't understand what you're angry about. What's got you so angry?"

Tino blinked in surprise. How did Berwald know he was angry? He quickly wrote down in the notepad. _How could you tell? Well, if you really must know. I couldn't help but wonder if my brother had lived instead of me, if you would've kissed him today instead of me…_

"I wouldn't have," Berwald simply answered. "I didn't know Wolf, Tino. But I know you."

Tino didn't need any more words than that to take Berwald's face in his hands again and kiss him. Nothing more needed to be said between them to make him fall any harder than he already had, that was for sure. He had never been this crazy about anyone! He kissed Berwald's lips over and over, each kiss more fevered and rough than the last until he was nearly devouring Berwald's lips with his own.

Berwald began opening his mouth to try to catch Tino's lips. He finally caught Tino's bottom lip between his and softly sucked on it, feeling Tino practically melt in his arms as he pulled him into his lap.

Tino smiled and straddled Berwald's hips, facing him. He pushed Berwald's glasses up to the top of his head so they wouldn't get in the way or fogged up. Either way, he remained in Berwald's lap like that and kept kissing him once the glasses were moved.

Berwald embraced him tightly, pulling him closer as he kissed him. He didn't expect Tino to embrace him back just as tightly, but was pleasantly surprised when he did. It was like an electric current going through his body, and he loved it. He was glad that he finally let his heart take control for once, or else maybe he would never be able to experience something like this.

For once, he was glad his mother had pushed his anger to the point of a fit of rage.

.

Tino sat at the table the next morning, sipping at a mug of coffee with Sigrid as he sketched happily. He was drawing a picture of their happily, little family of four. It was him and Sigrid side-by-side since they were of equal height with Berwald and Mathias behind them, standing back to back with their arms crossed.

Sigrid was smiling and shaking her head, impressed. "Tino, you are an amazing artist. How do you do it? I am so impressed right now. Never in all my years have I seen someone your age draw so beautifully."

Tino blushed a little and continued drawing. He glanced up at Sigrid every now and then, trying to make sure he got her smile just perfect. He wanted his drawing of his new family to be perfect, and to capture all of them just the way he saw them every day.

"You have Mathias's face perfect," Sigrid said, laughing as she pointed to her nephew's mischievous smile. "Oh, this drawing is so perfect, Tino! Do you mind if I frame it and hang it above the fireplace?"

Tino looked up at her with wide eyes. His cheeks turned bright red. He was flattered and all, but he never imagined that anyone would want to hang some stupid drawing of his over their fireplace. That was just unthinkable to him! He quickly nodded and smiled at her.

"Thank you, Tino," she said, smiling. "This is wonderful! You have our family drawn perfectly!"

Mathias walked in and looked over Tino's shoulder. "Woah! Did you draw that, Tino?! That's incredible! It's us!" He pointed to Berwald's face. "And you got Berwald's scowl down perfect!"

Tino reached behind him and punched Mathias without even looking or messing up his drawing.

Sigrid laughed. "Tino is multi-talented!" she exclaimed. Her smile widened. "Oh, Tino! Mat, you deserved that! Don't make fun of Berwald like that when you know Tino spends most of his time with him. Those two are best friends."

Tino smiled proudly and continued his drawing, making sure it was perfect. He glanced up at Mathias to make sure he got his hair perfect as well. Mathias was always doing some unique hairstyle, and Tino always admired them. They were fun to draw.

Mathias grinned. "You're even making sure to get my hair," he said in a tone of admiration. "That's so sweet of you, Tino!" He laughed. "That's great!" His smile was so wide he was grinning from ear to ear. "You really did get our family perfect!"

Tino was so happy to hear it from two people in the family. _Our_ family. It wasn't just their family anymore. He was officially a part of it, and he was so happy that they now included him. It made him so happy to think that what he had thought he lost forever, he had gained back brand new.


	5. Chapter 5

_Early March, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

It had been a little over a month since Berwald had expressed his true feelings for Tino, the feelings he wasn't even aware that he had. He was glad they were reciprocated and still felt a thrilling rush every time their lips met in secret. They didn't want anyone else to know about how they felt about each other, especially Mathias, so they were always careful of when they kissed and for how long. Usually, they would only kiss at night once they were sure everyone was asleep, or in the mornings as Berwald made coffee, and sometimes in the afternoons when they were alone in their room and knew Mathias and Sigrid were busy with other things. To them, being in love was almost like a fun game of "Don't Get Caught".

One night as Tino sat on Berwald's lap and drew, a strange sensation came over Berwald. He had learned about "the Birds and the Bees" from Sigrid when he was starting to go through puberty and was told that it was perfectly normal for him to become aroused from kissing people. Sure, he had gotten aroused plenty of times when kissing Tino, but he hated that he always had to take care of it himself. It wasn't like he would dare ask Tino to do anything sexual for him, though. That was moving too far too fast. But sometimes it helped him get done faster if he thought about it while alone in the bathroom after kissing Tino. And every time he came back to the room, Tino would be all red-faced and guilty-looking, yet he would claim nothing was wrong when asked.

Berwald placed a hand on Tino's thigh, just to test the waters. He then pressed his lips to Tino's when Tino turned to straddle him like he usually did, folding his calves over each other behind Berwald's back to make sure they were close. His hand remained on Tino's thigh, inching its way up discreetly with every passing minute.

Tino broke off the kiss when Berwald's hand nearly touched his hip. His eyes were wide and his face red as he blushed. He then kissed Berwald's jawline and went back to his lips before coaxing Berwald's hand over toward his crotch area with his own.

Berwald felt his hand brush against a small bulge. "Tino?" he asked, breaking off the kiss. "What do you want me to do?" He could feel the bulge growing with each passing moment as his hand remained on it.

Tino put his hand on top of Berwald's to keep it there and then went back to kissing him again. His hand, however, would press down on Berwald's as Berwald felt the bulge grow at a faster rate.

Berwald began to wonder if Tino was feeling uncomfortable and broke off the kiss once more. "Tino, you must be uncomfortable," he softly said to him. "Shouldn't you try to get more comfortable?"

Tino nodded and unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers, silently sighing in relief as the bulge emerged through in his boxers, standing taller. He then kissed Berwald again, cupping the Swedish boy's face in his hands as he kissed him.

Berwald kissed Tino back eagerly before gripping the Finnish boy's member through his boxers and squeezing lightly. He felt Tino exhale after a kiss, almost like a silent moan. He knew that he was doing what Tino wanted as he licked at his lips, awaiting access to the inside of his mouth.

Tino parted his lips slightly, snaking his arms around Berwald's neck and moving closer to him. He wanted to be closer to him and wanted to feel him stroking him. Oh, how he wished he had a functioning voice at that moment, so he could tell Berwald so many things! The most he could do was lead Berwald to do what he wanted, so he pushed Berwald's hand for a moment as he pushed the fabric of his boxers away to free his erect length before smashing his lips back into Berwald's.

Berwald was pleasantly surprised at how big Tino really was. His palms were sweaty as he nervously grabbed the shaft and began to stroke it, applying small squeezes of pressure here and there. He kissed Tino, his tongue exploring the Finnish boy's mouth, as he did so. He could feel Tino's reactions to it as his hips bucked every now and then or he'd exhale through his nose in a silent moan. His goal at the moment was nothing more than to please Tino.

Soon, Berwald felt a warm liquid run over his hand as Tino breathed heavily against his lips. He let go of Tino's length and licked the fluid from his hand. It tasted different to him, having never tasted semen before. He felt a warm spot on his shirt where some of it had gotten and quickly removed his shirt to put in the dirty laundry as Tino blushed. He got up as Tino adjusted himself back into his trousers.

"It's not your fault," Berwald softly told him. "And we're lucky that we do our own laundry, right?" He chuckled as Tino eagerly nodded. He sat back down before realizing how aroused he personally was.

Tino noticed it as well as he reached for Berwald's crotch, applying slight pressure.

Berwald squeezed his eyes shut. "Tino," he softly breathed out. He slowly reached down and undid his pants and pulled his length from his boxers, not fully erect yet. He then sighed out as Tino straddled him once more and kissed him deeply, fingers stroking him up and down. He felt himself becoming more and more erect with every touch from Tino as they kissed.

A small, soft moan escaped Berwald's lips as they kissed, causing Tino to break it off for a moment and silently giggled before kissing him more eagerly than before, stroking Berwald faster. Berwald felt slightly embarrassed at first before forgetting it and getting lost in Tino again.

It all happened too fast and before Berwald knew it, Tino also had a warm wet spot on his shirt. He smiled and removed his shirt, causing Berwald to blush.

Tino didn't have a muscular torso by any means, but he wasn't fat either. He had just enough weight on him to look absolutely adorable when shirtless, almost like a young child. That's what he reminded Berwald of.

Berwald kissed the tip of Tino's nose as he tucked himself back into his pants. " _Tack_ ," he softly said, smiling. He then pulled Tino closer to him and kissed him softly. "You are amazing," he told him. "Never let anyone tell you that you're not. You'll do great things one day, Tino." He smiled as Tino smiled at him and then yawned. "Sleepy?"

Tino nodded and then found himself being picked up bridal style by Berwald and carried to his cot. He was laid out gently before having a blanket placed over him by Berwald. His hands reached for Berwald's and clasped them in his own. He then took a hand back and beckoned Berwald down with a finger as the tall Swedish boy knelt next to the cot. He kissed Berwald's lips softly before laying back on his pillows and yawning once more to show how tired he was.

Berwald smiled and kissed Tino's forehead. "Goodnight, Tino," he softly said. "Sleep well." He then went to his own bed and laid there for a few minutes after turning out the lantern. He wasn't expecting something wonderful like that to happen, but he was glad it did. Maybe he would no longer have to go to the bathroom after kissing Tino from now on.

.

Berwald woke the next morning feeling more energized than usual. He nearly jumped out of bed and went to the kitchen to make coffee, humming as he did so. He turned on the radio, and a song was playing on it in English. It was pretty, and he knew enough English to know what it was saying.

" _Now that the stars are in your eyes, I'm beginning to see the light_ ," the man on the radio sang.

Berwald immediately thought of Tino. Whenever he looked into that beautiful Finn's eyes, all he saw were stars. He felt as if he really were seeing the light for the first time. He decided to listen closer to the song.

" _I never went in for afterglow_

 _Or candlelight on the mistletoe._

 _But now when you turn the lamp down low,_

 _I'm beginning to see the light._

 _Used to ramble through the park,_

 _Shadowboxing in the dark._

 _Then you came and caused a spark_

 _That's a four-alarm fire now._

 _I never made love by lantern-shine._

 _I never saw rainbows in my wine._

 _But now that your lips are burning mine,_

 _I'm beginning to see the light._ "

Berwald had never related to a song more in his life. He wondered if Tino had heard it and could understand it. He knew Tino could relate to it just as well as he could. To his surprise, he began humming along to the melody as he made the coffee as a woman began to sing the part he had heard. He couldn't help but think she had a lovely voice.

Tino walked in, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He smiled when he saw Berwald. He walked over and stood on his tip-toes, giving him a quick peck on the lips. His whole stature changed when he realized Berwald was humming along to the radio, and he immediately got out his notepad and began writing. _What song is this? What's it saying?_

Berwald smiled. So Tino didn't know English. "It's in English, and I don't know the title. But it's about someone falling in love and how they did many mundane things until they fell in love and began to see the light."

Tino blushed and wrote. _Like us?_

"I'm glad you pieced it together quickly," Berwald told him.

 _I wish I understood what it was saying. It sounds so pretty._ Tino sighed silently as he showed Berwald the notepad. He had always wanted to be bilingual, but he didn't even understand Finnish.

"I'll translate it to you sometime," Berwald promised. "Once I hear it enough times. This station tends to repeat songs. I'll hear it again and then I'll let you know what it says."

Tino smiled up at him and stood toe-to-toe with him,wrapping an arm around his neck, pulling him down so he could kiss him. And as their lips met, Tino felt magic in it. This kiss felt different, but Tino couldn't explain how it did. It just did to him.

Berwald smiled to him. "I should get back to making the coffee," he said, pulling away gently. "That way you, Mom, and Mathias are all in fantastic moods."

 _I'm already in a fantastic mood._ Tino smiled up at Berwald and went to sit at the table. He drummed his fingers quietly on the edge as he watched Berwald pour the water in the top and set it to brew before walking over to join him at the table. He smiled at the Swedish boy when he sat across from him.

"What is it, Tino?" Berwald asked, not being able to help but smile as well. "You seem especially happy this morning."

Tino grinned at him across the table as a small giggle escaped his lips. He suddenly realized what had happened and clapped a hand over his mouth, staring down in the direction of his mouth as if terrified of it. His eyes then flicked up to Berwald as if asking if he had heard it as well.

"Did you just…" Berwald began.

Tino nodded and slowly removed his hand. He hadn't heard his own voice in months, and the sound of his own giggle had startled him, yet he was curious as to what else he could do. He took a quick breath and let out a short, breathy, "Ha!" He then grinned up at Berwald.

Berwald was too stunned to speak. He thought Tino's voice was beautiful. It was on the higher end while his own was on the lower end, but Tino's voice was very unique and suited the boy perfectly, if Berwald's opinion truly mattered.

"Berwald," Tino slowly said, blushing.

Berwald's heart nearly stopped when he heard Tino say his name. It sounded so perfect coming from that boy's mouth that he almost didn't want anyone else to ever say it again, only Tino. He blushed a deep scarlet. "Tino, you're talking," he quietly said, smiling a little.

Tino nodded, tears filling his eyes. "I'm talking," he whispered. "I can talk again." He jumped up from the chair and ran to Berwald, hugging him as the tears spilled down his cheeks. "Thank you."

Berwald hugged him back, yet he was confused. "For what?" he asked.

"True Love's Kiss really is a powerful type of magic," Tino told him. "But I felt it." His voice was soft and quiet from his vocal chords having not been used in so long. "I felt my voice come back into me when you kissed me this morning, Berwald. I felt it. What other explanation is there than that?"

"Tino, this isn't a fairy tale," Berwald simply said.

Tino bit the tip of Berwald's ear, causing him to gasp in pain. "Don't spoil my fun, Berwald," he softly said. "Let me believe that's what it was."

Berwald smiled. "Fine, I'll let you believe that Scandinavian fairy tale magic is real," he laughed.

Tino laughed with him and kissed his cheek. "I haven't been this happy in so long…" He gazed into Berwald's eyes, smiling. "Berwald, I…" He bit his lip, blushing.

"What is it, Tino?" Berwald asked, confused.

Tino pressed his lips to Berwald's, kissing him with a soft, yet fiery passion. He pulled away, breathless. "I love you," he softly told him.

Berwald blinked at Tino a few times through his glasses. He then kissed Tino's soft, plump lips. "I love you too, Tino Väinämöinen."

Tino blushed and then laughed softly, hugging Berwald around the neck. He could barely contain the joy of having his voice back. It made him so happy, and he couldn't wait to tell Sigrid and Mathias when they woke up.

.

"So how did you get your voice back?" Sigrid asked, grinning from her seat across from the couch where Tino and Berwald were sitting. She had started crying when she realized it was Tino who greeted her that morning instead of Berwald. She hugged the Finnish boy close to her and kissed the top of his head over and over, telling him how proud of him she was. "I'm just so excited."

"Berwald has been trying to work with me on it for awhile," Tino softly said. "It's amazing that it just came flooding back to me in one instant, and suddenly I was talking again." He smiled over at Berwald. "Leave it to your son who barely talks to get me to talk again."

Berwald smiled over at Tino. "We can just say he took some of my voice," he teased.

Tino made a face at him. "I'm just glad it's back. I was tired of having to write everything I wanted to say. Because I'd get lazy and eventually just write the gist of what I wanted to say."

"I feel that," Mathias sighed from an armchair across the room. "Laziness is the worst."

"If you're so lazy, what makes you think you're cut out for the military?" Sigrid questioned.

Mathias placed a hand over his heart and gasped as if her words had actually wounded him. "Ouch, Aunt Sigrid. Right where it hurts."

Sigrid rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Berwald and Tino. "Well I'm glad that my boy helped you find your voice again. He really is a boy who makes me proud." She winked at Berwald and smiled at Tino. "I'm glad you two have each other. After all, Tino, you've made him more active and social, whether he's realized it or not."

Berwald blinked in surprise. "I am?"

Sigrid nodded. "You are," she confirmed. "You just haven't noticed it because it happened little-by-little in the past few months. Ever since Tino arrived here."

Berwald smiled. "Well I guess me and Tino helped each other then."

"You two make a great team," Sigrid confirmed, smiling. "And I know you boys will go on to do great things one day. After all, with Tino's drawing skills and Berwald's crafting skills you two could be a fantastic team of sculptors."

Tino smiled. "I've honestly been thinking a lot about that lately. I think we could do it."

Sigrid smiled. "That's what I like to hear, Tino. What about you, Ber?"

Berwald nodded. "I think we could do it as well," he confirmed. "Especially if Tino believes that we can. Because he can motivate me to do my best."

"I'm glad to hear that he can help you," Sigrid softly said, smiling at her son. "I'm glad that you finally have motivation to do things with your life again. It's been so long since I've seen you this motivated to do something with your life."

Berwald shrugged. "This time it's not just my future that I'm thinking about. It's Tino's as well."

Mathias laughed. "That's just like you, Berwald," he commented. "Thinking of others before yourself. But at least you're thinking of it in a way that you get to do something you love and are good at as well."

Berwald took a moment to think about what Mathias had just said. Was that true? Did he really think of others before himself? Was that why he always got up earlier than everyone else in the morning to make them coffee so they could all have good days? Come to think of it, was there ever anything he really did during the day that was specifically for himself?

Sigrid smiled. "I'm lucky to have three wonderful boys. I have my selfless Berwald, my helpful Mathias, and my encouraging Tino." She laughed a little. "I couldn't ask for better."

Tino blushed. "Encouraging?" he asked. "But you have all been the ones encouraging me these past few months. I haven't done anything."

"It's Berwald whom you've encouraged," Mathias told him. "He's changed since you got here. We kinda like this new Berwald, so thanks for making him a better guy, Tino."

Berwald thought about that. Had he really changed that much? Was he really that bad before Tino had come into their lives? Was he that much of a downer to be around?

Tino blushed. "You're welcome, I guess," he softly said.

Sigrid laughed. "All right, Mat, stop embarrassing Tino."

Berwald looked up at Sigrid. "Have I really changed that much, Mom?" he finally asked.

Sigrid looked at him. "You have," she confirmed. "You've changed in all good ways, dear. Before Tino got here, you used to mope in your room all the time. Now you're always talking to one of us in the house and you're not always alone in your room." She smiled. "Ber, you have gotten so much happier. You have changed for the better, Berwald. We like the new you a lot."

Berwald nodded as she spoke. "I like this new me a lot, too."

Tino smiled. "I didn't know the old Berwald, but I'm glad that this one is my best friend."

Berwald smiled over at him. "I'm glad to have a best friend like you too, Tino."

And that was the truth. Ever since Tino had come into his life, things had gotten so much better. He couldn't explain it, but he had never been this happy. He hoped that Tino would be in his life forever.


	6. Chapter 6

_Late April, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

Berwald sat on his bed with a pen and paper as he wrote down the Swedish translation of that song he had heard on the radio. He knew that the title of it was "I'm Beginning To See The Light", but he was still unsure of who sang it. Though he knew the first name of the woman who sang in it was Ella. That was the extent of his knowledge of the song.

Tino walked into the room. He was humming the song to himself, which caused Berwald to smile. "What are you doing?" he asked, peeking over Berwald's shoulder.

Berwald shifted away so Tino couldn't see. "No peeking yet. It's a surprise," he laughed, moving the page from Tino's view. Realizing Tino's face was so close to his, he quickly kissed Tino's lips, causing the Finn to blush before forgetting about the piece of paper.

"Don't tease me like that," Tino laughed. "Your mother is napping and Mathias is out cutting firewood. I want you to kiss me like you usually do, and I won't accept no for an answer," he said, straddling Berwald's hips. He moved Berwald's glasses up to the top of his head before kissing him deeply. "Kiss me and tell me you love me, Ber."

"Need I always remind you?" Berwald asked between kisses. He placed the pen and paper behind him. "Not that I mind it, though." His arms snaked around Tino's waist and pulled him closer.

A small squeak escaped Tino's lips. "I love being reminded of your love," he softly said, smiling. He wound his fingers into Berwald's hair and kissed him happily. "It keeps me going through the day. You know how needy I am."

"I love you, Tino," Berwald managed to say between kisses. "I love you so much."

Tino smiled against Berwald's lips. "That's what I love to hear. I love you too, Berwald Oxenstierna." He kissed Berwald a little rougher. "You are just so amazing and just…"

"Just what?" Berwald asked when Tino didn't finish his sentence.

"Just so desireable," Tino finished before kissing Berwald with all he had, wrapping his arms around the Swedish boy and hugging him tightly to him. He pressed himself close to Berwald, wrapping his legs around Berwald's waist as he kissed him. "I love you so much, Ber."

Berwald blushed. He had been called many things by many people, but desireable surely had never been one of them. Though it made him proud knowing that Tino had called him that. Anything positive that Tino called him definitely boosted his self-confidence. No other person in the whole world ever had an effect like this on him. "I love you too," he said between rushed and fevered kisses.

Tino smiled and eventually broke off the kisses. "So what was that piece of paper, Berwald?" he asked. "You should probably get back to work on it. I'm sorry for distracting you from it."

"You're a beautiful distraction, and should never apologize for it," Berwald assured. He smiled at Tino and kissed the tip of his nose. "Anyway, give me just a couple more minutes, and your surprise will be done."

"Yes," Tino said, pumping his fist. "Can I got to my cot and read if I stay over there?" He smiled widely when Berwald nodded. "Thank you." He went over to his cot and got out the fairy tale book and began reading. "Can you give me a hint as to what it is?"

"And ruin the surprise?" Berwald asked. "Never."

Tino sighed and went back to reading. He wanted to know so bad that it was like a gnawing feeling eating him inside out. It made his body shake slightly as he waited, anticipating Berwald showing him what he was writing. His whole body trembled as he waited. He really wanted to see what it was.

"Tino, calm down," Berwald laughed, looking up at Tino. "You're shaking. That's not good for you. You just need to calm down a bit. I'm almost done. But if you keep shaking, you'll distract me and I'll never finish."

Tino tried his best to stop shaking. "I'm working on it, Ber. I swear I am." He sighed. "I want to be patient, but I'm just excited to see what you're writing."

"It's really nothing, so you shouldn't get too excited over it," Berwald stated. He finished writing the lyrics in Swedish. "There, I'm done."

Tino jumped up and was over and sitting on Berwald's lap in less than three seconds. He looked at the paper. "What is this?" he asked, reading over it.

"You know that song that I heard on the radio the morning you got your voice back?" Berwald asked. "And I said how it pertains to us?" Tino nodded. "Well this is the lyrics to it. I promised I would translate it, and here's the translation, as promised."

Tino smiled as he read over it again. "It really does pertain to us," he softly said, awestruck. He turned to look at Berwald. "This is beautiful. Thank you." He smiled at Berwald and pecked his lips. "You are amazing, translating this from one language to another. You're so smart, Berwald. I'm so jealous."

"You're smart, Tino," Berwald assured. "You need to start giving yourself more credit than you do." He sighed. "You are more amazing than you let yourself believe. Just believe in yourself." He kissed Tino's cheek. "You're amazing. I wish I was an artistic genius like you. I can't even draw a stick person."

Tino blushed. "Oh, stop that," he softly said, looking away so Berwald couldn't see the soft blush that dusted his cheeks. He suddenly turned and kissed Berwald. "You're too good to me. I mean, you make sculptures of my drawings, you translate English songs for me, you do so much. What's next?"

"What do you want to be next?" Berwald asked him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tino asked, surprised. His face was the brightest red that Berwald had ever seen. "What do you mean by next?"

"Well, what did you mean?" Berwald asked, peering at Tino over his glasses. "I mean, we do a lot of things together already."

Tino shook his head. "Berwald, please," he softly said. "Let's talk about something else. I'm getting so flustered and worked up."

Berwald smiled at him. "Okay, we can change the subject." He then kissed Tino's cheek again. "Even though I love seeing you worked up like that."

"Change it!" Tino whined.

Berwald chuckled to himself. "Fine." He thought for a moment. "So what do you think of the song lyrics? They fit us, don't they?"

"They do," Tino softly mused. "Especially the 'now that your lips are burning mine' part," he said, pointing to the lyric. "That's how it feels when you kiss me. It's like your lips light a spark inside of me that sets my whole body aflame, and I love every moment of it." He smiled widely at Berwald. "I can't even begin to tell you how it feels when you touch me," he seductively said to Berwald, wagging his eyebrows at him.

It was Berwald's turn to blush. "When I touch you?" he asked, confused.

"Yeah, when you touch me," he softly said. Tino smiled at Berwald and pressed a hand to the Swedish boy's crotch. "Like this."

Berwald got the idea as a shiver went down his spine. "Tino, don't do that right now," he struggled to say. "It's the middle of the day. What if my mom or Mathias walks in?"

"They won't," Tino assured, unzipping Berwald's pants. "Just let me, Ber."

Berwald moved Tino's hands away and reluctantly zipped his pants back up. "Not right now, Tino. Later tonight. When everyone else is asleep, I'll let you do that. And then I'll pay you back. For now," he began before quickly pulling Tino onto his lap.

The Finnish boy let out a squeak of surprise before moving Berwald's glasses to the top of his head and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He pressed his lips to Berwald's with a fiery passion, flames of arousal taking over the inside of his body. "Now that your lips are burning mine, I'm beginning to see the light," he whispered to Berwald as they broke apart for air.

Berwald chuckled as he tried to catch his breath. "You're wonderful," he softly said. He then leaned in and began to kiss Tino again, which Tino did not object to.

The door suddenly opened wide on the hinges as Mathias could be heard saying, "Hey, guys, I…" His voice trailed off as both boys turned to look at him. "I think I'm going to go."

"Wait," Berwald said as Tino jumped off of his lap so he could get up. He stood as Mathias stopped in the doorway. "Mathias, stop."

Mathias stood in the doorway, his back to them. "What is going on between you two? Why aren't you telling your mother about this, Berwald? How long has this been going on?"

"Please just close the door and listen to us," Tino quietly pleaded. His violet eyes practically bore into Mathias. "Please, Mat."

Mathias slowly closed the door and leaned against it. "You two have a lot of explaining to do. You can start off by telling me what is going on between you two. When did this shit start happening?"

Berwald sighed. "This has been going on for a couple months now," he admitted. "It started when I discovered his drawings. Most of them were of me. And then I was overwhelmed and I kissed him. When he kissed me back, I was relieved and we have just been like that ever since."

"But all you do is kiss, right?" Mathias asked, voice slightly higher than normal.

"Not exactly," Tino softly said, looking down at his feet. "We do more than just that."

Mathias closed his eyes. "I don't think I want to know…" he decided after a moment. He leaned heavily against the door and sighed. "What about Aunt Sigrid? What are you going to tell her?"

"She doesn't have to know," Berwald said. "We'll tell her eventually, but she doesn't have to know right now." He blushed. "It's embarrassing that you know."

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking, Mathias?!" Tino demanded, advancing toward the Danish man. "You wouldn't have to know if you didn't just barge into our room like you owned the fucking place! But now you ruined it! You better not tell Sigrid!"

"Or what?" Mathias asked.

Tino's expression turned dark. "Do you really want to know?" he threatened.

"You wouldn't do anything to me," Mathias scoffed, though there was a slight edge to his voice that Berwald detected as fear. "You don't have the guts."

"Try me," Tino challenged, narrowing his eyes. His eyes pierced into Mathias. "You really want to go against a Finn? Remember where the best snipers come from, Mat."

Mathias scoffed. "Whatever. I'll keep your stupid secret." He turned toward the door. "Can I go now?"

"Get out of here," Berwald said. "Before Tino kills you. Just remember to knock next time, okay?"

Mathias scoffed and left the room.

Tino turned back to Berwald. "So where were we?" he asked, perching himself on his love's lap once more. He placed his hands firmly, yet gently, on Berwald's shoulders before leaning in to kiss him again. "I think I remember now," he said just before their lips met.

Berwald was once more swept into a tidal wave of love and lust, a tidal wave of his uncontrollable desire for Tino.

.

Sigrid sat next to Tino on the couch later that week as he drew her. She smiled as she watched him shade in her hair. "Tino, you are just so talented," she sighed. "I think you are just amazing." She looked up at Berwald. "Isn't he just amazing, Berwald?"

Berwald looked up from the newspaper that he was reading in the chair across the coffee table from them. "Yes," he softly said before going back to reading.

Tino smirked to himself as he drew. There was the Berwald that Sigrid knew, the Berwald who barely spoke. But he knew better. His Berwald talked to him and laughed with him. His Berwald loved on him behind closed doors. Tino could only hope that one day that Berwald would be able to come out around Sigrid.

Sigrid smiled. "Tino, I just can't get over how talented you are," she sighed out. "You're just so amazing." She shook her head. "I'm so proud of you. Your skills get even better with every drawing you do. You should seriously consider making a career out of this."

"You think so?" Tino softly asked, examining his drawing of her. "I don't know. I feel like I could do better before I start making a career of it." He looked closer at the drawing. "But I don't know. I think I should get a little more experience in. I mean, if my art looks like this at sixteen, just imagine how it would look when I'm twenty."

Sigrid nodded. "You have a point, Tino," she agreed. "But if you live your life like that, you'll never be ready for a career."

Tino was quiet as he processed what she said. He realized that she had a point. If he did think like that, he really would never be ready because he would always think there is room for improvement. "You know, you're right, Sigrid," he finally said. "Maybe I should grab the chance while I'm still young. Better to say, 'I can't believe I actually did that,' than 'I wish I would have,' right?"

Sigrid smiled. "I like the way you phrased that," she said. "It is better to say that." She nodded her agreement as she spoke. "So just grab onto life and let it take you for a ride."

"I think I'll do it," Tino decided. "I think I'll just use my art skills and see where they take me."

Berwald proudly smiled at Tino over the newspaper. "Good choice, Tino," he encouraged.

"Thanks, Ber," Tino laughed. He tried not to blush in front of Sigrid, but sometimes it was just involuntary. "I think I'll do it then. I'm going to try to make a career in art."

"Good," Berwald said, setting the paper down. "When you're famous, I can say that I shared a room with you and that you snore really loud and always kept me up at night."

"I do not!" Tino indignantly stated.

Berwald laughed. "I know, I'm just kidding."

Sigrid smiled. "I haven't seen you laugh like this in a while, Berwald," she mused. "Not since you were much younger. It makes me happy to see you like this."

"Well it makes me happy to be like this," Berwald told her before peering at Tino's drawing. "You captured my mother perfectly, Tino. You got her smile just right."

Tino looked up at him. "Thanks," he said, smiling at his drawing. "Well your mother is beautiful, so I wanted to make sure I captured such beauty just right."

Sigrid laughed. "Boys, stop it." Her cheeks were bright red. "You flatter me too much. You're too kind. I love you both, you know that?"

"We always know that," Berwald said, smiling at her. He got up to put the paper away. His lips met her forehead. "I love you too, Mom."

Sigrid smiled as Tino went for her cheek at the same time Berwald kissed her forehead. "You boys are too sweet. Stop it before you fluster a poor aging woman like me." She blushed softly and kissed each of their foreheads when they pulled away.

Tino smiled widely. "Aging? Please tell me you're joking. You still got it, Sigrid. You're still young, and you have us to keep you young." He looked down at the picture. "Look how young look in this. This doesn't look like an aging woman to me, Sigrid."

She smiled widely. "Oh, Tino," she sighed. "You always know what to say. Doesn't he, Berwald?"

Berwald laughed. "More often than not, I would have to agree with that."

Tino laughed as well. "Berwald, you're too kind. I just say the first thing that comes to my mind." He smiled at him. "But thank you for the compliments. I appreciate them."

Sigrid smiled and cupped Tino's chin in her hand. "You're a wonderful boy, Tino Väinämöinen. I'm so proud that I get to be an important person in your life." She kissed both of his cheeks. "You wonderful boy. And you're just so cute!"

Tino blushed. "Sigrid, you're embarrassing me," he admitted. His face was bright red, which was getting Berwald a bit flustered. "But I appreciate your kindness."

Berwald smiled. "At least my mom likes you," he said. "She could hate you, you know. Like that kid who used to live next door to us. Remember him, Mom?"

Sigrid groaned. "That Sven kid? Oh, my God!" She groaned louder than the first time. "That kid was awful! He was always so mean to Mathias!"

"There was a kid who bullied Mathias?" Tino asked, astonished.

"Sven bullied him a lot," Berwald answered for Sigrid. "As in Mathias would even cry sometimes. It was so weird because you see Mathias now and would never think that he would ever be bullied, but it happened. I don't even remember what he was bullied for."

"Neither do I," Sigrid sighed. "But Mat could probably tell you."

"I'm sure he could," Berwald groaned, rolling his eyes. "He'll do anything to be able to play victim at least once."

Tino smiled at Berwald's reaction. "Oh, give Mathias a break. Bullies are terrible."

"No, Mathias is terrible," Berwald sighed.

"I'm what now?" Mathias asked, coming out into the living room.

"You're terrible," Berwald repeated.

Mathias wrestled his cousin into a headlock. "Yeah, that's what I thought you said, Berry," he scoffed. "Now apologize to me."

"Never," Berwald struggled to say as he tried to fight off the larger male.

"Then I'll never let go," Mathias simply said. "Apologize or you stay like this for the rest of the day."

"Oh, come off it, Mathias," Sigrid sighed. "You act like a child."

"He started it," Mathias quickly said.

"Like I said," Sigrid began, "child." She put a hand to her forehead in distress. "What am I going to do with you?" she sighed out. Her frustration faded as she smiled at the scene before her. "Looks like I can't help you out of this one, Berwald. I guess you'll have to apologize."

"Mom, you traitor," Berwald gasped.

Tino laughed. "Maybe she just wants you two to get along," he suggested.

"Like that will ever happen," Mathias snorted. "It's been like this for ten years, and nothing will change any time soon."

Berwald sighed. At least that side of Mathias would always stay the same.


	7. Chapter 7

_Early May, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

Tino hummed carelessly as he laid back on his cot and read by lantern-shine one night. He was reading over the song lyrics that Berwald had translated for him. They seemed so beautiful and perfect to him, and he just couldn't get over how perfectly they seemed to fit both of them. He pressed the paper to his chest, just over his heart, as he took a deep breath. Never did he feel more in love with Berwald than whenever he read over those lyrics.

Berwald walked into their room. He had just gotten out of the shower, so he was shirtless and his hair was still dripping small droplets of water randomly. "What are you humming, Tino?" he asked.

"That one song," Tino said, smiling to himself. He turned to face Berwald and had to suppress a giggle of delight when he noticed that Berwald was shirtless. His violet eyes followed Berwald as he walked around their bedroom in search of a shirt. "Must you really put a shirt on, Ber?" he softly asked. "You can't just let me enjoy the view for a bit longer?"

Berwald smiled a little and sat on his bed. "Fine," he said, chuckling to himself. His smile widened a little when Tino came over and perched himself on his lap. He circled his arms around the Finnish boy and held him close. "It's pretty late, though. Mom and Mathias are both asleep already."

"They are?" Tino asked, leaning his head onto Berwald's bare shoulder. "Does that mean we have time to ourselves?" He looked up at Berwald, violet eyes wide and playful. "To do some fun things?" His hands grazed Berwald's muscular torso.

Berwald let out a happy sigh. "I guess it could mean that," he said, smiling at the Finn. "God, you're so perfect, you know that?" He removed his glasses and set them on his nightstand before connecting his lips with Tino's.

Tino sighed out softly on contact, smiling into the kiss. He tangled his fingers into Berwald's damp, blond hair. His body was filled with passion, a deep, fiery passion that burned into his soul. He just wanted to let it all out, but he knew it wasn't the time yet. It was almost as if it would never be the time, yet the time also felt unbearably close. It sent shivers down Tino's spine.

Berwald placed his hands firmly on Tino's hips, squeezing them as he kissed him. He groaned with desire, yet felt like it wasn't yet time to follow through with what he wanted. Like Tino, he felt it would never be time, yet also felt the time was unbearably near as well. It made him feel slightly anxious as he waited for the day that he and Tino would finally be able to become one. Just the thought of it made Berwald's skin crawl with goosebumps.

"Tino, you're shivering," Berwald softly said when they pulled apart for air. He smiled against Tino's lips. "What's going on in that magnificent head of yours?"

Tino sighed. "Just thinking about things I shouldn't be," he admitted. "I know I can't be thinking about those sorts of things. Neither of us are ready for that." He blushed. "I just let my mind wander freely sometimes and it arouses me to the point where I can barely stand it. My pants just feel too painfully tight, Ber," he complained.

Berwald chuckled to himself. "Oh, Tino," he sighed, smiling. He ran his fingers through the Finnish boy's hair. "You're too adorable."

"How is painful arousal adorable?" Tino complained, frowning. He groaned needily, the arousal nearly too much for him. "Ber, it hurts really bad."

"You think I don't know how badly stuff like that hurts?" Berwald asked, trying to hold back laughter. "Do you need me to help you with it?"

Tino blushed. "I mean, I wouldn't complain," he said, looking away.

Berwald laughed at that. He loved how Tino was always too shy to actually come out and ask Berwald to help him out with things of that sort. "Then maybe I will," he said, smiling. His hands brushed between Tino's legs, causing Tino to gasp out and groan. Berwald could feel just how aroused Tino was and almost felt bad for his poor Finn. Tino had it pretty bad.

"Don't 'maybe' me," Tino snarled, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He unleashed his erection between them before kissing Berwald. His hand grabbed Berwald's and placed it on his throbbing length, wrapping Berwald's slender fingers around it. He trembled in ecstasy as he moaned softly against Berwald's lips.

Berwald knew better than to leave Tino hanging when Tino had led him to do that, so he began to gently squeeze and stroke Tino as he kissed the Finnish boy back. He could tell he was doing well by the sounds coming from Tino's lips. Those sounds were all the encouragement that Berwald needed to keep going. He stroked faster, causing Tino to gasp a little as he shuddered slightly at Berwald's touch.

Tino finally couldn't contain himself any longer and let it go, most of it dripping onto Berwald's hand and some shooting up onto Berwald's bare torso. He blushed darkly. "I'm so sorry," he slowly said. He stood and adjusted himself before fixing his pants and getting a towel from the laundry to clean up Berwald's chest. He sheepishly handed the Swedish boy the towel.

Berwald chuckled as he wiped himself down. "It's not a big deal, Tino," he said. "You're fine." He kissed the tip of Tino's nose as reassurance. "No harm done at all." He smiled at Tino once he had cleaned his torso off. "See?"

"Yeah," Tino softly said, blushing deeply. He sat back on Berwald's lap and smiled, still not looking directly at him out of embarrassment. "I just can't believe I did that is all…"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Berwald laughed. "Okay?"

"Are you sure?" Tino asked. Once he looked into Berwald's blue-green eyes, he was immediately captivated and mesmerized by them. He felt as if he had fallen under a spell. It was as if he had fallen in love all over again. His lips quickly found Berwald's. "I love you," he softly said to the beautiful Swedish boy.

"I love you too, Tino," Berwald mumbled against Tino's lips. He, too, had never been so in love before. His only desire was that things would always be this amazing between the two of them.

.

Berwald woke the next morning slightly later than he usually did and went to make the coffee. He yawned as he poured the cream and sugar and waited for the coffee to brew. It always tested his patience to wait for it to brew, and he just couldn't stand it. He tapped his foot on the kitchen tiles as he waited, turning on the radio to pacify himself.

Lo and behold, the song he loved was playing. He felt as if it were by some miracle. His low voice began to hum along with it as Tino trudged into the room, perking up when he heard what was playing.

"Ber, it's the song!" he excitedly whispered.

Berwald immediately took Tino by the waist and began to slow dance with him to it, Tino softly giggled but going along with it as he placed his hands on Berwald's sturdy shoulders. The two twirled around the floor gracefully to Berwald's surprise.

"I didn't know you could dance," Berwald said to Tino as he dipped him low.

"I'm just full of surprises," Tino giggled as Berwald quickly brought him back up. Their noses were almost touching as he looked into those beautiful blue-green eyes. His breath hitched a little as Berwald spun him out and twirled him back in. "I've been dancing for years, though I usually lead. This is a pleasant surprise."

"Didn't know you would know how to follow in dancing," Berwald stated as his arm crossed over Tino. They rocked back and forth for a couple steps. "You're really good. I'm impressed."

"Then prepare to be amazed," he said, smiling. He reached an arm up and snaked it around behind Berwald's neck and tilted his head up. His lips touched Berwald's neck, causing the Swedish boy to freeze in place. "I can make you forget every dance step you ever learned."

Berwald gulped, trying not to get too distracted by Tino. Yet he had to wrack his brain to struggled to remember what dance move came next. His mind was screaming at him to continue dancing, but his heart screamed for him to give in to Tino's sweet seduction. He fought hard against his lust-driven heart, but eventually had to give in as his hands slipped down to Tino's hips and his lips found their way to Tino's.

Tino was surprised that Berwald lasted that long in battling himself mentally, yet he was more than ready to kiss him. Besides, the song had ended by that time and he was ready to kiss Berwald. The dancing had been too tempting for him. He was dying to kiss that amazing Swedish boy!

Berwald guided Tino to turn to face him in his arms as he kissed him, which Tino had no problem with at all as he rested his hands on Berwald's firm chest. He rested his hands on Tino's lower back and pulled the Finnish boy closer to him, having never felt so in love in his life. It was intoxicating!

Tino sighed softly against Berwald's lips before they pulled away. He had heard the coffee maker go off and knew that Berwald would have to tend to that and make sure the coffee turned out perfect for everyone. His eyes followed his love as he went to the coffee maker.

"For you," Berwald said, handing Tino a mug of coffee.

Tino accepted it, blowing on the rim of the mug. His violet eyes studied Berwald as he poured two more mugs. He was so fascinated by his boyfriend that he couldn't help but just watch him all the time. It was his favorite hobby. He could watch Berwald all day and never tire of it.

"I'll be right back," Berwald said, leaving the room to take the mugs of coffee to Mathias and Sigrid.

Tino sat back at the table and hummed to himself. He didn't realize he was humming their song until a few minutes later, but he blushed and smiled to himself when he realized it. That didn't stop him from humming it, though. It was his favorite song, after all. He hoped to one day be able to sing it in English, but he didn't want to tell Berwald that. He wanted to surprise him with it. After all, Berwald was so wonderful that he deserved a surprise like that.

Berwald walked back in, smiling. "I could hear you humming when I was walking back in," he said, sitting across from Tino.

"Do you blame me?" Tino asked, eyeing him over his mug as he took a sip. He tried his best not to blush when he Berwald looked into his violet eyes. Yet he couldn't prevent his heart from soaring into his throat, making it hard to swallow his coffee. He coughed for a moment, coffee going into his windpipe and choking him.

Berwald stood up and rushed to Tino's side. "Are you okay?!" he asked, kneeling next to his precious Finn.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said between coughs. His eyes were watering. "It just went down the wrong pipe is all." He was so embarrassed, feeling like an idiot for choking himself with coffee. A deep blush colored his face.

Berwald smiled. "Okay," he said, standing up. He patted Tino's shoulder gently. His lips pulled into a wider smile as he returned to his side of the table. He smiled at Tino from across it.

Tino smiled as soon as his coughs subsided. "You're so sweet to me," he said. "Where did I ever find you?"

"In my living room," Berwald snarkily answered, smile turning to a smirk.

Tino made a face at him, but then blushed and smiled. "Always with the jokes, Berwald." He sighed out happily. "Just what will I do with you?"

"I don't know, but I can't wait to find out," he said, raising his eyebrows.

"Stop that," Tino said, blushing. He looked down into his coffee, flustered. He simultaneously loved and hated how Berwald had that effect on him. It excited him because he never knew when Berwald was going to respond with something snarky or something sweet. It all truly just depended.

Berwald stopped talking and just stared at Tino from across the table. "What's on your mind?" he asked, his blue-green eyes looking curiously at Tino.

Tino had only one response. "I love you," he happily sighed, knowing nothing else would need to be said.

.

Sigrid sat next to Tino on the couch later that day. She leaned over and smiled at him. "What are you drawing now?" she asked, looking at the design on the paper.

"Well Berwald is out in the shed right now, whittling away at a design of a sculpture of two people dancing that I drew this morning," Tino answered. "It was based on a sketch I did this morning that he liked." He wasn't going to mention that dance that morning that inspired the sketch, or the fact that he drew himself as a female for Berwald to make the sculpture. "So now I'm coming up with more couples sculpture ideas."

"I can't wait to see what Berwald's sculpture looks like," Sigrid said, sitting back. "Both of you boys are so talented. I'm not surprised. Once you have enough sculptures, I could help you two get customers going. I would love to help you out."

"Thanks, Sigrid," Tino said, looking up to smile at her. "You've done so much for me. I feel like there is no way I could ever pay you back."

"Tino, sweetheart, you're family. I would never want you to pay me back," she said, smiling. She kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. "I'm so proud of who you have become in these past few months. You have changed so much."

"You really think so?" Tino asked, putting his pencil in his mouth as he thought about it. Had he really changed that much? He bit at the end of his pencil, deep in thought. It was a bad habit of his. "I guess I have."

"I _know_ you have, dear." Sigrid ruffled his soft, blond hair again. "I'm glad that you have your talents like this. I'm so proud of you. You're like a third son to me."

"Thank you," Tino said, blushing. "It makes me really happy to hear that, Sigrid. I feel like I belong here." He smiled. "I'm happy here. Berwald is the greatest friend I could ever ask for."

"I'm glad," Sigrid said, a lost look in her eyes. "He's needed a friend for a long time, a friend who isn't related to him. I'm so glad he has you, Tino. You have been an absolute blessing to our family. We are all very grateful to you for what you have done for our family."

"Well I'm grateful for what you have done for me," Tino said softly. "You took me in when I had nothing, no one. That is something I could never repay you for, no matter how hard I tried."

"But you already have, Tino," Sigrid said, turning to face him. "You made my son happy again when I thought I would never again see his smiling face. That, to me, is the greatest thing you could have ever done. I'm so happy that it was you who came to live with us."

"I'm happy it was me, too," Tino said. "Otherwise I probably wouldn't be talking yet, and I wouldn't be happy or anything. Also, I wouldn't have a best friend like Berwald."

"I'm glad Berwald has you. He just seems so comfortable around you. I can't really explain it, but I just get very good vibes from the two of you when I see you together. It warms my heart." She sighed happily. "He's never had a friend before, you know."

"He hasn't?" Tino asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Never," Sigrid confirmed with a slight nod. "That's why I'm so grateful to you for being his friend. He's so wonderful, and I'm glad that you see that side of him as well."

"He's really nice," Tino said, smiling to himself. "He has always been nice to me ever since I got here. Berwald even talked to me when I got here because he didn't want me to feel all alone."

"My little boy has always had a good heart," she said with a nod. "That is one of my favorite things about him."

Berwald walked into the room. His cheeks were flushed from working out in the shed, but in his hand he held a two-foot-tall statue of a couple dancing. It had a beautiful finish to it as well. He had really outdone himself and was proud of the detail on it.

Sigrid jumped up and hurried over to him. "Ber, that is beautiful!" She was touching the statue. "The detail is amazing! You did a fantastic job! I can't believe it! You did this by yourself? Oh my God, Berwald! I am impressed!"

Tino looked up and smiled. "Berwald, that looks exactly how I drew it!" He jumped up and practically ran over to them. His fingertips danced along the surface of the statue. "And it's so smooth! I love it!"

"Thank you," Berwald said, blushing. He was relieved that his cheeks were already red to hide it. His smile was the most prominent feature on his face, though. He was so proud of himself, and just knowing that Tino liked it made him feel better.

"And you make all of your sculptures this well?" Sigrid asked, inspecting it further as she took it from his hands, taking great care not to harm it in any way. She didn't even breathe on it, fearing even her breath on something so beautiful could damage it.

Tino smiled up at Berwald. "It's so beautiful! I love it! You're amazing at what you do!" He couldn't stop praising him.

"I work on all of them with the same amount of care," Berwald said to his mother with a nod. "I have a few more that I'm working on, but I was just eager to finish this one first."

"I have an idea," Sigrid said, smiling. "Tino could draw pictures of people in town and, Berwald, you could sculpt them. Tino, are you good at painting?"

"I am," Tino said with a nod. "Why?"

"You could try painting the sculptures," Sigrid suggested.

Tino looked up at Berwald. "We could try offering that if I could get my hands on some paint," he said to him.

Berwald nodded. "That sounds good to me."

Sigrid grinned. "You sound confident in your painting abilities, but I suggest that you practice painting on the pictures before the sculptures." She winked at Tino. "Anyway, I'm going to go and do some laundry. I'll talk to you two later." She left the room.

Berwald smiled at Tino. "You really like it?"

Tino smiled up at him. "I think it's amazing," he said before softly kissing Berwald's lips. "You are great at what you do. I'm so impressed. You make me so proud!"

"I'm glad," Berwald said, blushing more. "I made it for you. I worked extra hard on it."

"You're wonderful," Tino said, blushing as well. "In all ways." He sighed out happily. "I think you're great at what you do. It makes me wish I could do things like that."

"But you do," Berwald insisted. "You are the one who makes them originally. I wouldn't be able to sculpt these without your designs."

"Really?" Tino asked, looking up at him. "You're sure about that?"

Berwald smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "What can I say? I'm nothing without you."

"Then it looks like I'll have to stay around here, doesn't it?"

"I guess it does," Tino said. "Now get down here and kiss me."

Berwald smiled and kissed Tino, feeling like he was flying. He was happy that, for once, people were acknowledging his talents instead of just Mathias's. For once, it was his time in the sun.


	8. Chapter 8

_Late May, 1939, Stockholm, Sweden_

Tino lay in bed, sniffling. He hated being sick. The doctor had diagnosed him with the flu the day before and he had been vomiting and coughing and coughing until he vomited ever since. It was terrible. He could barely even sleep due to it. Vomiting made him cry sometimes, embarrassing him in front of Berwald, who volunteered to take care of him in his time of need, due to his "strong immune system".

The small Finnish boy reached for his boyfriend's hand. "Ber, I feel terrible," he groaned. "Make it stop." He felt like his face was on fire. It was awful! He just wanted to feel better already! His eyes involuntarily filled with tears as he rolled to his side, his back facing Berwald, who grabbed his hand.

"Tino," Berwald softly said. "It's okay to cry in front of me. You don't feel well. Do you think I would ever hold something like that against you?" He shook his head. "Never." His lips kissed Tino's burning-hot forehead. "I would never hold that against you, Tino."

"You're too sweet," Tino sighed, rolling back over to face Berwald. He placed a gentle hand to his stomach. All the rolling was starting to make him queasy.

Berwald held a bucket up to him. "Careful not to move too much, Tino," he warned. "We don't want you getting too sick."

Tino irritably pushed the bucket away. "I don't need that," he huffed, frowning. He could feel the vomit coming up his throat, very slowly, but still there. "I'll be just fine." He swallowed, trying to keep it down.

"Maybe if you vomited, you'd feel better," Berwald suggested. He frowned. "I mean, I know it's an unpleasant feeling, but if you did it I think you'd feel better."

"Whose side are you on?!" Tino demanded, feeling like he was about to cry. "You took the flu's side!" he whined. "How could you do this to me?!"

Berwald softly shushed Tino and brought him into his lap, cradling him close and humming to him soothingly. He kissed his burning, fevered forehead. "Just calm down," he softly, calmly said. "You're going to be okay. Everything will be fine. There is nothing to worry about, Tino. I'm here. We're going to be just fine."

Tino's eyes fluttered closed as he focused on Berwald's soothing voice. It relaxed him and calmed him. Berwald's voice made Tino feel like, no matter what, everything was going to be okay. He began to drift off to sleep a little, smiling happily. "I love you," he softly said.

Berwald kissed his forehead once more. "I love you too," he whispered to Tino. It made him happy to know that Tino felt safe like this. He felt good knowing that Tino trusted him. His smile wouldn't leave his face. He was so in love, and it was the greatest feeling he had ever felt in his entire life.

.

"How's Tino doing?" Sigrid asked when Berwald walked into the kitchen later on that morning. "I feel sorry for the poor dear. It must be awful being so sick. I remember the first day he barely knew who anyone but you was. The only reason he knew who you were is because you two share a room, so he's always around you." She bit her lip with worry. "Is he doing any better, dear? I worry about him."

"He's doing a lot better," Berwald said. "He finally fell asleep. I feel as if he's finally starting to get back to feeling like his old self. I think he'll feel better before the week is out, if you ask me. And by next week, he'll be back to his usual self."

"Thanks for your diagnosis, Doctor Oxenstierna," Sigrid said, laughing. She smirked, turning it to a smile. "I love you, my dear son." Her lips grazed his cheek. "You're a great son."

"Thanks, Mom," Berwald said, blushing from embarrassment. "Now, what do you want from me." He knew she usually only acted like that when she wanted something from him.

Sigrid laughed. "Why do you assume that I want something?"

"Because you usually do when you act like this," Berwald said. "What high up thing would you like for me to get for you this time?"

Sigrid looked away for a moment as she said, "I'd like you to get my cooking pot, please."

Berwald chuckled to himself as he went to get it. "I knew it," he said, chuckle turning to a laugh. "You always compliment me like that when you want something from me. Especially something requiring me using my height."

"Oh, hush," Sigrid grumbled. "No, I don't. You're just saying that."

"Nine times out of ten, Mom," Berwald laughed. "Nine times out of ten, you want something." He smirked. "Come on, Mom. Don't deny it. I know you."

"It's not like you and Mathias don't do it," Sigrid grumbled, crossing her arms. "Besides, there's nothing wrong with it if I don't do that all the time. I really do love you boys. You three are my life. At first it was just you and Mathias, but when Tino joined us, I knew he was going to be a special part of our lives."

"I always thought that as well," Berwald answered, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Tino is a good person, and I'm glad that he's part of our family." A part of him wished he could tell Sigrid the truth about himself and Tino, but he just couldn't do it. "He's the greatest friend I've ever had."

"I'm glad that you have a friend," Sigrid said. "You've never really had once before. I mean, there was the little girl down the road a few years ago, but let's face it, that was just weird." She laughed as Berwald nodded in agreement. "What was her name again? Ida?"

"Yeah," Berwald said with a shudder. "Her name was Ida, and she was the oddest woman I had ever met. She was beautiful, but every time she was around me, she was always trying to kiss me and take her clothes off."

Sigrid stifled a laugh. "And you were always trying to get away from her. Why was that? She was beautiful, and you two got along so well."

Berwald blushed. "I just wasn't into her, I guess," he softly said. "And that can't exactly be helped, Mom." He looked down and away so she couldn't see his face. "I'm just attracted to other sorts of people."

"What sorts of people?" Sigrid curiously asked. "I'm curious to know."

Berwald sighed. "Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just curious is all," Sigrid answered. "I just want to know why you haven't been interested in the girls around town whenever we go shopping. Is there something wrong with them?"

"No," Berwald said. "I just don't really know what to do around people is all." He awkwardly fidgeted. "I just don't see why it would be important. I mean, who I'm interested in shouldn't matter in the long run, as long as I'm happy, right?" He raised his eyes to look at her.

Sigrid looked at him. "What do you mean by that last part? Are you trying to say you're in love with someone but you're just not telling me? Is it Emma Anderson? What about Nora Peterson? Both of them are such lovely girls that I wouldn't mind having for daughters-in-law."

Berwald felt hurt by the way she kept rambling about women. Had she ever thought that maybe her precious son didn't like women like that? That maybe he liked men? Maybe her thinking that he liked women hurt his feelings more than he really cared to admit. Why did everyone just assume that just because he was male he was attracted to women. Wasn't it wrong to just assume things like that of people?

"Just, please, stop talking," he softly said, leaving the room. He went back to his room, tears of hurt, anger, and frustration burning his eyes. It wasn't fair that she would do those things to him. He knew that she didn't know, but he didn't want her to know at the same time. He was so confused. He just didn't know what he truly wanted other than Tino. His eyes flicked over to the bed where his violet-eyed love slept so soundly, not even coughing once.

Sigrid followed him into his room. "Berwald, you do not speak to me that way!" she quietly scolded, struggling to keep her voice quiet. "I know for a fact that I raised you better than that."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I didn't want to marry them?!" Berwald demanded, struggling to control the volume of his voice. "Maybe I want to marry who _I_ want to marry! And I can guarantee you it's not them! It's-" His voice cut off before he said anything more.

"Who?" Sigrid softly asked. Her eyes slowly wandered over to Tino. "It's him, isn't it? You're in love with our Tino, aren't you, Berwald? And he loves you too, doesn't he? That's why he's always so partial to you. That's why he always takes your side in arguments and wants to always be by your side." Her expression softened in understanding. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"It's because it's not natural," Berwald said.

"Isn't it for you?" Sigrid asked. She smiled as Berwald nodded. "Then isn't that what matters, Ber? That you're happy? That Tino is happy?"

"You're right," Berwald admitted in a soft voice, not wanting to wake Tino. "I love him, Mom. So much. I can't imagine my life without him. I would do anything for him."

Sigrid smiled. "You know, I kind of always knew you weren't interested in girls. Ever since Ida, to be honest. I'm glad you finally found that sort of selfless love that people spend their whole lives looking for, but few find. Hold on tight to it, and never let it go, because that's the stuff of fairytales." She walked over to Tino and brushed his hair out of his face. "What you two have is special. I could always tell there was something special between you, like some sort of aura, I guess. It was always nice, and I loved it. Now I know what it is, and I hope Mathias finds someone to have that kind of aura with one day."

Berwald nodded. "It's very nice to be in love," he admitted. "Tino is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I really am in love with him, Mom. He's everything to me." He smiled down at his sleeping Finn. "I know that I have to be careful with who I tell about this, but honestly there are days that I wish I could scream to the world how in love with him I am…"

"I remember those days," Sigrid sighed. "Those days when I was so in love with your father that I wanted everyone on the planet to know. Hell, I still want them to know sometimes. No other man will ever hold my heart the way he did, and still does to this day." Her hands went over her heart as she exhaled happily.

"Now you're just getting sappy," Berwald commented, his cheeks turning bright red in embarrassment. "You don't have to get like that every time you talk to me about him, you know. I remember how in love you two were. I remember how precious Dad was to you. I remember very well." A thought came to his head and he frowned. "Mom, do you think Dad would be upset to find out that I'm a homosexual?"

Sigrid bit her lip as she thought about it. "I don't think he would," she said. "Sure he may be sad that he wouldn't have any biological grandkids, but he would get over that and still love you all the same." She hugged her son. "He would still be just as proud of every accomplishment of yours, just like I always am. He would still love you, just like I do."

"Thanks," Berwald softly said. "I'm glad to hear that. You knew him better than I did. That's why I thought I'd ask you." He sighed. "It's all just so complicated, Mom. But Tino makes it all worth it to me."

"I'm glad," Sigrid said. "You've grown up so much, Berwald. Looks like you matured faster than you cousin did, that's for sure. You're even more mature than he is now." She winked at him. "But don't tell him I said that."

"Of course not, Mom,"Berwald softly laughed, careful not to wake up Tino. "I don't want to deal with him if he finds out."

Sigrid smiled. "You truly are my son after all, aren't you? I was starting to get worried that there was nothing like me inside of you. You look and sound like Richard, but then you say something like that and it's something that I would say." She stood on her toes, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "I love you so much, Berwald."

"Love you too, Mom." He smiled at her. "See, it's moments like these when I know you don't want anything from me." He pulled her into a side hug and kissed the top of her head as they both smiled down at the sleeping Tino. "Moments like these are the ones that matter."

"I agree," she softly agreed.

.

Tino felt better within the next few days with extra help from Sigrid. He didn't understand why she was suddenly being extra nice to him. Berwald didn't have a chance to tell him about the conversation he and his mother had while he had been sleeping.

"Why is your mother acting so weird toward me?" Tino asked Berwald once they were finally alone. "All of a sudden she's in my space and it makes me so uncomfortable that I feel like I'm suffocating, but I can't exactly say that to her because she's done so much for me." He gave Berwald a pleading expression. "Please get her out of my space for two seconds. I can't draw when I can't breathe. And I can't even kiss you with her hanging around me like this! And I've been dying to kiss you ever since I stopped vomiting, Berwald!" Tino frowned. "Just please do this for me!"

Berwald laughed. "Tino, in our home we don't have to hide it anymore. She figured it out while you were asleep one day. We're okay now. She knows."

Tino's eyes widened in understanding before he punched Berwald's bicep hard enough to leave a bruise. "Well why didn't you tell me that in the first fucking place?!" he nearly shouted at Berwald before grabbing his collar and pulling him into a passionate kiss. He ran his fingers up into Berwald's hair as the Swedish boy wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. Tino softly moaned against Berwald's lips, smiling widely against his lips, having been deprived of his kisses for too long.

Berwald smiled. "I'm going to go tell my mom that I've got you for now," he said with a wink. He left the room and came back a few minutes later. "I think she gets the hint. We want to be left alone." He sat on his bed and gestured for Tino to come over. "So where were we?"

"Right about here," Tino said, unzipping his pants. He then removed them and sat on Berwald's lap in his boxers, straddling his boyfriend's hips. "I love you so much," he said before going back to kissing him deeply, grinding his hips against Berwald's. As he kissed Berwald, he reached into his own boxers and pulled out his length, beginning to stroke it, unable to stand waiting.

Berwald moved Tino's hands away, taking his spot with the stroking. "No," he said between kisses. "That's my job, Tino." He massaged as he stroked, taking in every moan of Tino's as a job well done. It pleased him to hear his love's moans in his ears as they kissed. "Those moans are mine. They're what I want to hear. Moan for me, Tino."

"Don't tease me like this," Tino panted, becoming fully erect. He bucked his hips, moaning a little louder. "Berwald," he moaned. "Why does your touch feel so good?"

Berwald smiled. "It's my job to pleasure you, my love," he said. "So it's my duty to make sure my touches feel the best to you and only you."

"Well goddamn, you feel amazing!" Tino sighed out. He arched his back a little as he became more pleasured. "Damn!"

"Didn't know you swore so much," Berwald teased, smiling.

"It means you're doing a good job, so shut up," Tino groaned, trying to hold out louder moans. He squeezed his eyes shut as he reached his limit, covering the front of Berwald, yet the Swedish boy didn't care as he stripped off his shirt.

"Feel better?" Berwald asked. "All the sexual frustration gone now?"

"You are a fucking saint!" Tino said, tucking himself back into his boxers. He grabbed the sides of Berwald's face and kissed him passionately. "Goddamn, I'll make you feel amazing!"

"Oh, you will?" Berwald asked, smirking. "And how do you plan to do that?" He raised an eyebrow, waiting for Tino to answer.

Tino smiled and unbuttoned Berwald's pants. "How will I do that?" he scoffed. "I'm about to fucking show you."

Berwald laughed. "I forgot how much you swear when you're aroused."

"Is that a bad thing?" Tino indifferently asked, shrugging his shoulders as he reached into his boxers and pulled out out his love's member, which was half-hard. "Already halfway there for me?" he teased, smiling. "Good thing!"

"Oh really?" Berwald gasped out when Tino began to stroke it. He had forgotten how great Tino's hands felt on him. "Oh, God, your hands feel amazing, Tino."

"I'm only getting started, Berwald," Tino said with a wink. He then slid off the bed and got on his knees. He began to lick at Berwald's length, which was a completely new sensation to Berwald, but he loved it.

Berwald's toes curled. "T-Tino," he struggled to say. "What are you d-doing?"

"Quiet, Ber," Tino said. "Just let me do this. Ask questions later." He then went on to take Berwald's full length into his mouth, bobbing his head and licking around it with his tongue while it was in his mouth.

Berwald's eyes were squeezed shut as waves of pleasure coursed through his body. No one had ever done something like this to him before. He had no idea what to expect, but it was amazing! His whole body was almost trembling from sheer pleasure. And when he finally released all of the tension, all of it went straight into Tino's mouth, which he swallowed!

Tino wiped the corners of his mouth with his sleeve, rising to his feet. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?" he asked, grinning. He winked at Berwald. "I bet that was a wonderful experience."

"How did you know?" Berwald asked him, wide-eyed.

"You were moaning like no other," Tino giggled.

"I was?" Berwald asked. "I didn't even notice!" He turned red, embarrassed. "That's so embarrassing!" His mind was just off worrying about if his mom and Mathias heard him or not.

Tino couldn't stop giggling. "I thought it was cute, Ber."

Berwald felt a little more comforted as he tucked himself back into his pants. "Well thanks," he softly said, looking toward the door. "I wonder if they heard us out there."

Tino winked at him. "And if they did? Who cares? They'll learn soon enough when to listen and when not to." He smiled at Berwald and got back into his own pants before perching himself on Berwald's lap. "You're so cute when you worry like that, you know."

Berwald blushed. "Don't make fun of me like that."

"But I'm not making fun of you," Tino insisted. "I'm pointing out something I like about you is all. Come after me if you don't like it."

That caused Berwald to smile. "Can I come after you anyway?" he teased.

"In what way?" Tino asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

Berwald then leaned forward and kissed Tino deeply. "In that way," he told him, smiling. "Is that way acceptable?"

Tino laughed. "I think it is," he said, smiling widely. "And that way is always welcome whenever."

"Then I'll gladly come after you whenever," Berwald said.

"And I'll accept you every time." Tino smiled and then burst into a fit of giggles as Berwald kissed him once more.


	9. Chapter 9

_Early June, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

"So when should Berwald and I think about opening a business?" Tino asked Sigrid one morning. "I mean, we've made enough figurines to start selling some or at least display them. Should we open a stand in the next outdoor market they have?"

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea, Tino," Sigrid softly stated. "You could also advertise it in the newspaper if you'd like. I've set aside some money for you two to start up your business with when I realized you were serious, and you could use it however you'd like. I would suggest you start advertising soon, though. The season for sales will slip past you if you don't."

Tino nodded. "I'll talk to Ber about it," he said as he went back to his drawing he was doing. It was one he was doing for fun of him and Berwald reading _The Little Mermaid_ together. That story would always hold a special meaning to him since it was the first thing the two of them had ever bonded over. He smiled down at his drawing and then up at Sigrid. "He's in his workshop out in the shed right now. I don't ever disturb him because I wouldn't want to startle him and have him accidentally lose a finger or two because of me."

"That sounds like a good plan to me," Sigrid said with a nod. She smiled a Tino's drawing. "Why do you two love that story so much? I hear you two talk about it so often that it nearly makes my head spin."

"It's because that's the first thing the two of us bonded over," Tino said. "It was the day I got here. He welcomed me by saying I could read his book of fairy tales and proceeded to tell me that it was his favorite for the same reason that it was mine." He smiled. "Berwald has such a good heart. He's a diamond in the rough that I was just lucky enough to stumble upon."

Sigrid smiled. "I'm glad that you see him as such. He really is a precious jewel. There is no mistaking that. It's just that people never give him a chance because of his tough exterior. He tends to scare people. I'm just so glad that he never scared you."

"I'll admit that I was slightly scared of him at first," Tino softly said. "But he was so kind to me that I couldn't help but be attracted to him. He always tried to soften his voice whenever speaking to me at first. He always took great care not to upset me or anything like that. He's a wonderful person. I think that's what drove me to falling in love with him."

"I'm glad that you're in love," she stated. "I've been waiting for years for Berwald to fall in love, and I'm glad that it finally happened. I don't care that it's with another man. As long as my little boy is happy, that's all that matters to me. That's all that should matter to any parent, as far as I'm concerned. As long as their child is happy, they should be allowed to love whoever they would like."

Tino smiled widely. "I'm glad you see it that way, since most people wouldn't." He kissed Sigrid's cheek happily. "You're a wonderful woman, Sigrid Oxenstierna."

"I'm glad you think so, Tino," she said, smiling. "I love you so much." She hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. "You'll always be like a son to me, especially now that you're my son's partner."

"I like the sound of that," Tino said, smiling. "I like being considered Berwald's partner. It makes me sound important. It could be taken in any way as well. Business partner, bedroom partner, who knows?"

"Bedroom partner," Sigrid laughed. "Tino, you make yourself sound so dirty!"

"What if I am?" he laughed. "You would never know."

"I wouldn't?" Sigrid laughed. "I hear you two sometimes. Although I wish that I didn't."

"Can't help what can't be helped," Tino sighed out before going back to his drawing. He smiled as he finished the shading in it. It looked just like them, and that pleased him. He almost wanted to run to the shed and show Berwald, but like he told Sigrid, he didn't want to startle the poor dear, so he left him alone.

"Is it finished?" Sigrid asked, smiling. She peeked over Tino's shoulder and gasped. "Tino, it's beautiful! I love it!"

"You really do?" Tino asked, smiling proudly. He loved it too. He was very proud of it, though he wouldn't admit it. It was his favorite drawing so far that he had done. "I want Ber to make a sculpture of it just for me if he could."

"I bet he'd make one for you if you asked him," Sigrid said, smiling. "He is very partial to you. Honestly, I think my son would do anything for you if you'd just ask him to." She sighed. "He loves you so much, Tino."

Tino smiled to himself. "And I love him, too," he admitted. "I love him more than I've ever loved another person. I want to be with him forever and never have to think of what life would be like without him." He looked up at Sigrid. "Is that what it means to be in love?"

"Why are you asking me that?" Sigrid asked.

"Because you were in love with Berwald's father," Tino answered. "You know what it's like to be in love. I know I'm only sixteen years old, but I'm pretty sure that I'm in love. A lot of people say that when you're young like me you don't truly know what love is, but I'm pretty sure I do. I'm pretty sure I found it with Berwald."

Sigrid smiled warmly at him. "I'm pretty sure you've found it as well, Tino. But only time can tell, no?"

"Yeah, you're right," Tino said, his smile widening. "Only time can truly tell, but I'm pretty sure this is love. And I'm so glad that it is. I'm certain that I wouldn't want to be in love with anyone but Berwald."

"And I know that Berwald feels the same way, Tino," Sigrid softly said. "After all, he's never shown any kind of affection for anyone but you."

"Really?" Tino asked, blinking in surprise.

Sigrid nodded, humming in confirmation. "Berwald has always been a bit standoffish, if I may. He's never shown an interest in anyone until you came along. Once you got here, he was suddenly at your beck and call. He wanted to do everything for you, even though you were perfectly capable of doing things yourself. And then whenever you were upset with him, he would just get so mad at himself. I'd watch him beat himself up over you being upset with him over something stupid like the bathroom stool, and he'd try to find ways to fix it." She smiled widely. "It's cute."

Tino blushed. "I didn't know about any of that."

"Mathias wasn't wrong when he said you changed him for the better," Sigrid softly said. "You did change him. He needed an adjustment to how he used to be. He used to be so reserved, and now he actually talks to people. That's all thanks to you, Tino. Ever since you started talking, so did he."

"Really now?" Tino asked. "I guess I didn't notice because he always talked to me."

"That's because he was always smitten with you," Sigrid said, smiling a knowing smile at Tino. "Berwald is in love with you, Tino. And I'm so happy. He couldn't have chosen a better person to fall in love with."

Tino blushed. "Thank you, Sigrid. I appreciate that." He looked down at the drawing and gazed at his drawn Berwald. It was so perfect, and Berwald was captured so perfectly.

"You know, Tino, for an extra profit, you could even draw portraits of people if they would like them," Sigrid said. "Some people like portraits as well as sculptures."

Tino thought about it. "I might do that actually. If it will help mine and Berwald's business, then I'll do it." He smiled as he thought of Berwald slaving away to make the sculptures, knowing that he could reduce the stress of that by drawing portraits to bring in extra money for them. "Yes, I'll do it, Sigrid."

Sigrid smiled. "Tino, a talent like yours comes along maybe once in a lifetime. Hold onto it and do everything that you possibly can with it. It's a gift, a gift that you can share with the world."

"The world, you say?" Tino asked, violet eyes wide. "You really mean that?"

"Who knows?" Sigrid said. "Maybe one day, the whole world will know your names. You never know what the future holds for you two."

Tino's eyes were wide with wonder. "That's true, Sigrid! I never thought of that!" He thought more about how that sounded, smiling to himself. "The whole world," he mused. Just the thought of it excited him so much that he wanted to run out to the shed and tell Berwald immediately, but he knew better than to do that. Besides, if he kept it a secret until they were being intimate, it would make everything better and more steamy between them. He shivered with delight at the thought of it.

"Are you cold, Tino?" Sigrid asked, noticing the shiver. "It is pretty cold in here, isn't it?"

Tino turned bright red, knowing that he would never admit why he shivered. "Yeah, it's a little cold," he lied, though he didn't think it was cold at all. In fact, as he thought more and more about Berwald, he began to feel more and more hot. Almost unbearably hot. He almost couldn't stand being away from Berwald at that point in time. It was nearly too much.

The front door suddenly opened and Berwald walked in. Just by the look of him, anyone could tell that he had been working hard all day. His face was red and nearly drenched in sweat as he wiped it with the towel that Sigrid immediately offered him. His blue-green gaze immediately went to Tino, who bit his lip. Whenever Berwald looked that way, Tino found him instantly irresistible.

Tino's violet eyes were wide as he jumped up from the table and ran to Berwald. His arms were instantly around him as he breathed in his scent. His lover smelled of oak wood and sweat and some sweet scent of Tino's favorite cologne of his. In other words, Berwald smelled astoundingly arousing to Tino. So arousing that Tino just wanted to take him straight to the bedroom.

Berwald was a bit surprised as he looked down at Tino. Sometimes Tino ran to Berwald, but never like this, never inhaling his scent and smiling widely the way he did just then. "Tino?" he cautiously asked. "Is everything okay?"

Tino gazed up at him through lust-filled eyes. "Everything is fine," he said. "Just fine." He ran his hand down Berwald's chest, eyes wide. "I just…"

"You just…?" Berwald asked, confused. "Tino, I'm sweaty and gross."

"But so fucking arousing at the same time," Tino whispered into his ear, standing on his toes as Berwald leaned down a little. "If you take a bath, I want you to count me in."

"Tino, you can't do that," Berwald said. "We haven't even...you know…"

"Then why not today?" Tino asked him, cocking his head to the side cutely. "It's about time anyway. We've been together for how long now? I think I'm ready for it."

Berwald's eyes widened. "Are you sure about that? I mean, I don't want to take advantage of you if you suddenly change your mind."

"As if I would change my mind," Tino whispered, eyes filled with lust. "I'll go draw the bath and wait for you." He pecked his cheek. "See you there, dear."

.

Berwald walked into the bathroom five minutes later with his and Tino's bathrobes and two towels. He smiled at Tino, who was waiting by the bathtub in his boxers. Berwald stripped down to his boxers as well as the water finished pouring into the tub. He then stopped the water, removed his boxers, and got into the bathtub.

Tino giggled and removed his as well after locking the bathroom door. He then got into the tub and sat between Berwald's legs. His smile was radiant as he turned a little so he could see Berwald and kiss him. "You're so arousing right now," he said, trying to cover his own erection between his legs with his hands. "I just think you're amazing."

"So are we just going to take a bath and then do it later?" Berwald asked.

Tino thought about it for a moment. "I could stimulate you in the tub and we could do it out of the tub where we'd have more room. Besides, I doubt water is that great of a lubricant and I feel like that would hurt." He winked at Berwald. "I found some cold cream in the cupboard in here. We could use that if you'd like."

"That could work," Berwald said, having never had sex before. He had no idea how this was going to play out. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Yeah," Tino softly said. "I've made love to someone twice before now. It was to an Estonian boy who visited on holiday…" He blushed madly. "But let's not talk about that right now. It wasn't that wonderful of an experience and I want to forget it…"

"Then we'll forget it," Berwald replied. "If it was that unpleasant then we'll never speak of it again."

Tino nodded, frowning. "It's just that I wasn't in love with him. I just wanted to know what it was like. I feel like it would be different if it was with someone you were in love with. And your mother and I were talking about it while you were in the shed. I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you as well, Tino," Berwald said, smiling. "I've always been in love with you, since the day I met you." He kissed Tino's cheek. "And I'm certain I'll be in love with you until the day I die. Maybe even after that, if you believe in such things."

The Finnish boy's eyes widened. "I love you, Berwald," he softly said before turning his body to embrace Berwald and kiss him. "I love you so much!"

Berwald smiled. "I love you too, Tino."

.

Tino waited patiently while Berwald dried off a little from the bath, jar of cold cream in his hand. "Are you ready?" he softly asked.

Berwald thought it over. As much as he wanted to make love to Tino so desperately, he was so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open. He reached over and grabbed his robe from the hook on the door. "Tino, how about we do that another day?" he softly asked. "I'm exhausted. As much as I would love to, I want to do that on a day that we would both remember and cherish until the day we die."

Tino nodded and put the cold cream away, breathing a sigh of relief. "You know, I was honestly hoping you would say no," he admitted. "The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to back down, thinking I wasn't completely ready."

"Oh?" Berwald asked.

"I wasn't ready when it came time to do it with Eduard," Tino admitted, "but I didn't deny him because he was on holiday and I would never see him again in a few days. So I agreed to it. Now I wish I would have saved my first time for when I was with you."

"We can pretend that it is," Berwald said. "Listen, Tino, I don't mind that I'm not your first. You're still my first, and to me, that's pretty damn special. I'm just not ready yet. And I'm incredibly tired. Perhaps we can just sleep side-by-side."

Tino blushed. "I'd like that. More than I'd like to have sex with you, Ber."

Berwald smiled. "Me too."

.

That night as they lay side-by-side, Berwald did a lot of thinking. He was in love with Tino, yes, but he wasn't exactly sure he wanted to have sex with him for awhile. He didn't mind fooling around with him, by any means, but when it came to intercourse, he just didn't exactly want that yet.

Tino was thinking about the same thing. He couldn't get Eduard, the Estonian boy, out of his head either. All he wanted to do was forget the thought of him. He wanted to forget the fact that he lost his virginity to him and move on, but things weren't that simple. He couldn't change the fact that he lost his virginity to Eduard, but he wanted to lose it again to Berwald. Though he wondered if he lost his chances with Berwald by mentioning Eduard.

Berwald burned with jealousy where that Estonian guy was concerned, but more of an angry jealousy. He had met Tino first. He was intimate with Tino first. But didn't Berwald get to have Tino in the end? That was enough for him.

"Berwald?" Tino timidly asked, rolling over to face Berwald in the small bed.

"Yes?" Berwald asked, rolling to his side to face Tino. He smiled warmly at him. Even though he wasn't wearing his glasses, he could still make out Tino's facial features, and his poor lover looked troubled. Was it because of the denial of sex earlier?

"Are you mad at me?" he softly asked.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Berwald asked, confused.

"I figured you would be angry with me because I'm not a virgin," Tino softly said. "I figured you would find me disgusting and no longer want to be with me. Am I far off?"

"You are miles away, darling," Berwald assured. "I really am tired. It's just that I'm nervous about having sex. It's just not what I want right now. I just hope that you understand that right now."

"Of course I do," his lover softly answered, looking at him. "Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"

"I just didn't know what you'd say," Berwald admitted. "I didn't want to say anything that would make you think otherwise."

"But your silence was what made me think otherwise," Tino softly said. "It bothers me when you're silent like that after I say something as serious as that."

"I will remember that," the Swedish boy said. "I'm sorry for making you worry that I was upset with you, Tino. I wasn't upset with you, though. Maybe slightly distressed, but not upset."

"What were you distressed about?" Tino asked, violet eyes wide as he scooted closer. He placed a hand over Berwald's own and smiled at him. "You can tell me."

"I was distressed over the fact that you weren't a virgin," he softly admitted. "I couldn't believe that you're my first, but I'm not yours. It was a little devastating to me, but it's okay. I'm okay with it."

"You don't seem okay with it," Tino said, frowning. "You really don't seem like it at all."

"Maybe I'm not," he said, "but I have to be or else it would only bring trouble between us. It's not you that I'm upset with. It's him, the other man. I'm glad he's not around anymore. If he was, then I don't know what I would do."

Tino yawned. "I don't know where he is anymore. I just hope to never see him again. After all, I love you. You're the only man I've ever truly loved. Please believe me when I say that."

"I will unless you were to ever prove otherwise," Berwald told him.

"And that's something that will never happen," Tino said, smiling. He kissed Berwald softly. "Goodnight, Berwald."

"Goodnight, Tino."

.

 _Summer, 1937, Helsinki, Finland_

Eduard Von Bock smiled at Tino from across the picnic table. His smile turned to a smirk as he looked at the Swedish-speaking Finn. "So what kind of thing do you have planned for the rest of your summer?" he asked Tino, adjusting the wire-rimmed glasses that were perched on the bridge of his nose.

Tino shrugged and peered up at Eduard. "I'm not completely sure," he admitted. "I want to remember this summer forever."

"Well I have an idea to make this summer one to remember," Eduard said, smiling. "I think you may agree to it."

"What is that?" Tino asked. And before he could think straight, Eduard was kissing him. He was so overwhelmed that he went along with it. At that point, he could just go along with anything that Eduard suggested. After all, Eduard was the first boy to ever show him romantic attention.

.

 _Early June, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

Tino sat up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. He then looked all over the room, searching for the Estonian boy he would never find. His eyes landed on Berwald and his heart stopped racing as he started breathing normally.

He felt at peace for a moment. All he wanted was to be there with Berwald forever and never see Eduard again. He never wanted to be with anyone with Berwald ever again, and maybe never even have sex again after sex with Eduard. He wanted nothing more than to be happy with Berwald. Forever.


	10. Chapter 10

For the next week, Tino danced around the subject of Eduard whenever it happened to come up, which was more often than he expected. Every time, he would find a way to change the subject or leave the room, whichever came first. It was too weird for him to speak of a past lover to his current boyfriend, especially a past lover whom he never truly loved and only slept with for the hell of it. Just the thought of it made his cheeks burn with shame.

"Tino, stop avoiding me," Berwald complained, following him into the kitchen after another failed attempt at an evasion. "Look, I get it. It's awkward."

"Then if you get it, stop pestering me about it!" Tino whined back. "I don't want to talk about him, okay? He's a person of my past, and I want him to _stay there_!" He clenched his fists. "I don't get what part of that is so hard for you to understand! Say we didn't last forever, Berwald. I'm just using that as an example. Would you want your next partner to go on and on asking about me all the time?"

Berwald was quiet for a moment. "Well no, because it would remind me of how much I loved you," he answered, looking down.

Tino's eyes widened as he ran to Berwald and cupped his lover's face in his hands. "I never loved Eduard," he softly said. "That's why I want to leave him in the past. I was stupid, okay? I have never loved another person the way I love you, Ber. And I'm certain that I never will as long as I live. You are everything I could ever hope and dream for. Everything I've ever wanted for my whole life. Berwald, I love you more than life itself." He softly kissed his love's lips. "Please just forget about Eduard. That's all I ask. Because that's what I want to do as well. Let's just forget him and enjoy this new chapter in both of our lives. Let's enjoy _us_."

"Okay," Berwald agreed after a moment. "Let's do that."

The young Finn smiled and hugged his Swedish boyfriend, humming happily to himself. He felt like the luckiest boy in the world. Everything felt perfect to him. His heart felt as if it had grown wings and he were flying, soaring higher than the heavens, past where all notions of right and wrong became irrelevant.

"I love you," Tino softly said, snuggling Berwald close. "Don't you ever forget that, Berwald Oxenstierna. Until the day I die, I will always love you, but never the same. It will only get stronger with every passing day."

"The same goes for me," Berwald said, cradling Tino's head into his chest. "I will always love you as well, Tino Väinämöinen." He felt his heart racing rapidly in his chest. No matter how many times they may hug or kiss, it will always feel like the first time to him. "You will always be number one in my heart. Forever."

Tino giggled and began to rock back and forth with him. "I'm glad," he softly said. "You're amazing, Berwald. I can't wait to be with you for the rest of my life. I just thought I'd let you know right now that you're stuck with me forever."

"That's one thing I'm certain that I can live with," Berwald said, kissing Tino's forehead as he turned on the radio.

" _Now that the stars are in your eyes, I'm beginning to see the light_ ," the woman's voice on the radio sang.

"It's our song!" Tino excitedly said. He looked up at Berwald and extended his hand. "May I have this dance, Berwald?"

Berwald laughed. "Of course you may, Mr. Väinämöinen."

Tino giggled and began to dance around the kitchen with Berwald until the song ended. He quickly pressed his lips to Berwald's. "Now that your lips are burning on mine, I'm beginning to see the light," he whispered to him.

.

Berwald laid awake that night, pondering. He knew that he had told Tino he would let it rest, but he knew that his mind would never let him do that. He wanted to know who the hell that Eduard guy was and what made Tino want to sleep with him. What made Tino want to have sex with Eduard, but not him? What was so special about Eduard?

He sighed aloud. What made him so insignificant to Tino? If Tino really loved him, wouldn't he want to have sex with him? And if he didn't love Eduard, then why did he have sex with him? What the hell was up with that? Nothing made sense to him, and it was so frustrating. He rolled over and saw Tino sleeping peacefully on his cot.

Why was Tino sleeping so peacefully when he had to be up at night thinking about these sorts of things? It wasn't fair. Why wasn't Tino troubled by the whole Eduard thing? Was this because Berwald never had any past lovers for Tino to be troubled by? Why was Berwald so upset by the fact that Tino wasn't a virgin? Why was he so angry about it?

Berwald got up. If he couldn't sleep, he might as well go take a bath and do something useful with his time. But after he sat in the bath for a few moments he realized that the last bath he took was with Tino. And that night was when he learned of Eduard. He quickly drained the tub and dried off. No more of that.

It was too early to make coffee, and he didn't want to go back into their room and see Tino sleeping so peacefully, so he threw on his coat and went out for a walk.

His breath came out in puffs of smoke as he walked along the streets of the city that morning. The sun hadn't risen yet and his boots made almost clicking noises as he walked along the sidewalks. He wondered what time it was, but he really didn't care. All he wanted was to get Tino's sexual history off his mind in some way or another.

Once the sun began to rise, Berwald knew he needed to head back home, so he started his trek back to the house. He didn't notice how cold it really was until the warm air hit his face. He also didn't realize how early Tino usually got up until he noticed him sitting in an armchair by the fireplace when he walked in the door.

Tino jumped up and ran to him. "Oh my God!" he whispered. "Where have you been?! I've been so scared that you just up and left all of us! I've looked everywhere for you!"

Berwald looked down at Tino and noticed that his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. He didn't realize that Tino would wake up before he got back. That was the only thing he didn't think about. But then again, a small part inside of him that felt a sense of karma on Tino's end. That small part was glad that Tino now knew how he felt, staying up and worrying about things, even if it wasn't the same thing.

"All I could do was blame myself," Tino said, suddenly crying. "I only thought that it was all my fault because I was honest with you about my history with other men. But if I had lied, I knew that I would have felt worse in the end, and so would you!" He balled Berwald's shirt up in his hands. "So I knew I had to tell you for the sake of both of us! I can't stand waking up with you not here! Don't ever do that to me again, Berwald!"

That small part of Berwald that felt the satisfaction now felt only pure guilt. How could he have been so happy that Tino had been crying? How could he have been so happy about hurting Tino just moments before? That wasn't fair at all to Tino! How could he have been so heartless, even if he never did admit it out loud? Who was that side of him? It certainly wasn't the real Berwald!

"I won't do it again," Berwald promised, kissing the top of Tino's head. "I will never make you worry like that again. I just went out for a walk to clear my head because I couldn't sleep. I lost track of time and started heading back once I saw the sun rising. I should have left a note."

"You damn well should have!" Tino whispered through his tears, clinging to Berwald. He buried his face in his love's chest. "Please just never do that to me again! Never again! Do you hear me, Berwald? That's not okay!"

"I won't do it again, Tino," Berwald said. "I promise."

For the next hour, Berwald had to hold Tino and keep promising over and over not to leave him like that again.

.

Tino calmed down after having his morning coffee. He was back to his usual self by the time that Sigrid and Mathias were up and about, not once mentioning what had happened that morning to either of them, keeping it between him and Berwald. They had both decided that some things were to be shared with Sigrid and Mathias and some things were to be kept between them. That was one of the things to be kept between them.

Berwald was cleaning up the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. He went to answer it and found a boy there around their age. He had shaggy, blonde hair and glasses like his. "Can I help you?" Berwald asked him.

"Uh, yes," the boy timidly stated. "I was told that a Tino Väinämöinen lived here."

Upon hearing his name, Tino bounded over to the door. "Who's looking for me?" he cheerfully asked Berwald. He saw the boy at the door and instantly froze in panic. Not knowing what else to do, he shut the door in the boy's face quickly. "I'm not here," he whispered to Berwald.

"He already knows you're here," Berwald hissed back to him.

"Get rid of him," Tino hissed back, giving Berwald a pleading look.

"What do I get out of it?" Berwald quietly asked.

"Anything you want, just please do it," Tino quietly begged. "Please!"

"Go to our room until I come in there to claim my reward," Berwald sighed.

Tino kissed him full on the mouth. "You're the best!" he whispered before scampering off to their bedroom while Berwald got rid of his unwanted visitor.

Berwald put on his coat and stepped outside. "Who are you?" he asked the boy who was outside. "Because whoever you are, he doesn't want to see you right now."

"I get that," the boy answered. "I mean, I did leave him pretty suddenly. One night I was there, and he woke up the next morning and I was gone."

Berwald's mind went back to that morning. Was that why Tino was so freaked out? Because this boy had done that to him? Who was this boy anyway?"

"How rude of me," the boy said, chuckling to himself. "I haven't introduced myself yet. My name's Eduard Von Bock."

Berwald immediately stiffened up at the name. "I'm Berwald Oxenstierna," he answered. "What do you want with Tino?"

"I just wanted to apologize to him and ask for another chance," Eduard said. "I really messed up our friendship."

"Disappearing like you did, I'd say so," Berwald said. He didn't want to talk to Eduard any more than Tino did at that moment. He kicked himself internally for wanting to help Tino out of this. "Anyway, it's probably best that you don't come around here anymore. Tino's just now getting his life sorted out after losing everyone in his family."

"Yeah, I heard about that," Eduard said, looking down and sighing. "But if you think I'll give up just because you told me to, then you're wrong."

Berwald stared at him in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Eduard stated. "If you think I'll give up on Tino that easily, then you have another thing coming, Oxenstierna. I won't lose to you."

"How did you know that…?"

Eduard cut Berwald off before he could finish his train of thought. "It's written all over your face. You're in love with Tino. Well I won't lose to someone like you. You may look like an intimidating guy, but that's not the kind of person Tino usually goes for. Just remember, I know the kinds of things Tino desires. I've known him much longer than you, Oxenstierna."

"This conversation is over," Berwald stated, walking back toward the house. "Get off of my property." He walked back into the house and shut the door before taking off his boots. He couldn't stop thinking about Eduard's words, though.

 _I know the kinds of things Tino desires. I've known him much longer than you, Oxenstierna._

Berwald angrily took off his coat and stormed to his bedroom. "Thanks for the warning," he growled at Tino, who was anxiously sitting on his cot. "You could've at least told me who it was instead of making me go out there blind."

"I was panicking, okay?" Tino said, eyes filling with tears. "What did he say to you?"

"He's not going to give up on you, Tino," Berwald said, struggling to hold his temper back. "Goddammit, Tino. Why do you have to pick the stubborn ones?"

Tino looked down at his hands that were folded in his lap. "What else did he say?" he softly asked.

"He said that you probably hate him because he left in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye," Berwald said. He watched as Tino nodded. "Is that the only reason you hate him?"

The Finnish boy shook his head. "No," he finally said after a moment. "I don't want to get into this right now."

"Remember how you said you'd give me anything if I got rid of him?" Berwald asked. "Well I got rid of him, and what I want is this conversation."

"That's not fair," Tino stated, looking up at Berwald.

"Well neither was throwing me into the shark pit like that," Berwald said. After a moment of silence from Tino he asked, "So will you answer my questions I may ask about him?"

"Yes," Tino softly stated. He looked back down at his hands as he lip trembled a little bit.

Berwald almost felt bad, but he knew this conversation needed to be had, or else it would never happen. "When did you two meet?"

"The summer of '37," Tino answered.

"How did you meet?"

"His family was staying at my family's inn," Tino softly said. "My parents were innkeepers and me and Wolff helped out there a lot. So we knew all of the guests."

Berwald nodded. "Are you sure you didn't love him?"

Tino's head snapped up. "How many times do I have to tell you this?!" he demanded, voice growing louder with every word. "I never loved Eduard! I never did! Why don't you believe me?!" He stood up and clenched his fists. "Why do I have to be interrogated?! It's not fair! Why do you have to be so pure and simple while I'm just a mess?! I hate it! You make me hate myself! You make me hate every little thing there is about me because you're just too fucking perfect to ever have anything for anyone to judge you for! You've never done anything stupid like I have, or so it seems! It's just not fair!"

Tino turned to storm out of the room, but Berwald stood and caught him by the wrist, dragging him over toward him. "No!" Tino cried out. "Let me go!"

"No," Berwald stated. "I don't want to." He pulled Tino into a hug. "Eduard may try to win you back, but I won't let him. I love you, Tino. You're mine now. I'll never let you go." He pressed a kiss to Tino's forehead. "I'll be damned if I lose to him."

Tino blinked in surprise and smiled. "I love you, Berwald," he softly said. "I'm sure of it now. More sure of anything in my life."

"What are you sure of?" Berwald asked.

"I'm one hundred percent sure that you are who I want to be with for the rest of my life," Tino said before standing on his tip toes and kissing Berwald softly. "I love you so much. You have absolutely no idea."

"Then give me a hint," Berwald said.

"I drop hints all the time," Tino said, smiling. "It's not my fault that you don't pick them up."

.

Berwald curled up next to Tino in his bed that night. They decided to sleep together, but only sleep, nothing more. Tino was still not ready for anything more, and Berwald honestly wasn't either. Both of them were honestly happy that the other wasn't ready either, feeling relief wash over them at the end of a stressful day.

Tino smiled as he placed a hand over Berwald's, which was on his stomach, his arm wrapped around Tino's waist. He played with Berwald's fingers absently as he yawned and began to nod off. He hadn't felt this content in awhile. His love for Berwald was refreshed at the end of a long day, and he knew that there was only more love for that amazing Swedish man to come tomorrow morning and throughout the day.

Berwald smiled and pulled Tino closer to him. His heart raced in his chest as he laid with Tino. He loved this small Finn more than he ever loved another person his entire life. He just wished there were other ways to express it, new ways to show it with every passing day. He was just so in love and wanted to find a new way to let him know.

"Ber?" Tino softly asked, rolling over to face him. He placed a hand on Berwald's chest and smiled. "I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're mine. As if I don't already say that enough…"

"I'm glad you're mine too," Berwald said, smiling. "You're everything I could ever ask for in a lover, Tino. I've always wanted someone like you."

"Really?" Tino asked, eyes lighting up in joy.

"Of course," Berwald said. "Do you think I would lie to you?"

"Well, no," Tino softly said, giggling to himself. "That's true…"

Berwald smiled. "I'm glad that you know that much." He pecked his lips against Tino's.

"No," Tino softly said before kissing Berwald's lips passionately. "Thanks for putting up with me today. Even after what I said to you when I was upset. I didn't mean it. I was just so frustrated, and that wasn't fair to you."

"No, I deserved it," Berwald said. "I was letting my jealousy get the best of me. I was being an ass."

Tino smiled. "We were both in the wrong," he said. "We'll just settle it that way." He snuggled in closer to Berwald. "Could you promise one thing to me, Berwald?"

"What would that be?" Berwald asked.

"No matter how unreasonable I may get at time, please don't ever give up on me," Tino said. "I don't ever want to lose a gem like you. You're amazing and I never want to lose a wonderful man like you. You have no idea how long I've waited for you."

"Only if you do the same for me," Berwald said, smiling at him.

Tino grinned at him. "Deal." He kissed Berwald softly. "Hey Ber?"

"Yeah?" Berwald asked.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Tino," Berwald answered. "Get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay," Tino laughed.

And both boys got some great sleep that night, neither of them worrying about a single thing in the world.


	11. Chapter 11

Berwald woke up early the next morning to make the coffee and sighed. His mind was immediately filled with dread. What if that Eduard person came back and demanded to see Tino again? He couldn't bear something like that happening. He couldn't bear the thought of Eduard coming in and stealing Tino's heart away. That was something that he just would not be able to stand for, something that he just would not be able to handle.

"Good morning, Ber," Tino said, wandering into the kitchen. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and walked up behind Berwald, wrapping his arms around the taller boy's waist. Nuzzling his head into Berwald's back between his shoulder blades, he yawned. "I feel like today will be a nice day."

"You do?" Berwald asked, measuring out the cream and sugar. "Why is that?" After pouring them into the coffee pot and placing it on the coffee maker, he placed his hands over Tino's contentedly. He almost hummed happily, but refrained from it, closing his eyes and cherishing the moment instead.

"Because I get to spend it with you," Tino answered, snuggling him even more. He was feeling extra snuggly that morning, and he really hoped that Berwald wouldn't mind that. All he really wanted at that moment was for Berwald to turn around and snuggle him back, or for Berwald to sit down so he could sit on his lap and snuggle him that way. Any type of snuggles would do for Tino at that point in time.

Berwald smiled and turned around, hugging him close. "Aren't you just all warm this morning?" he asked him. He held his lover close and kissed the top of his head. "Is something bothering you at all?"

"Nothing at all," Tino answered. "I just want to snuggle you and be close to you." He turned his head upwards so he could kiss Berwald. "Now please kiss me. I need some kisses, Berwald."

The Swedish boy couldn't argue with that. He leaned his head down until his lips touched his Finnish boyfriend's. "How was that?" he asked.

Tino rested his hand on the back of Berwald's neck. "No, I need more," he insisted before pulling him down and kissing him passionately, tangling their tongues together inside of their open mouths. The intensity of it caused Tino to moan softly as they pulled away from each other. He blushed immediately. "Sorry about that," he mumbled to Berwald. "I'm just feeling a little needy this morning, I guess."

"A little?" Berwald asked, adjusting his glasses, which had been knocked off center in the kiss. He grinned at Tino. "Are you sure that there is nothing on your mind at all?"

Tino shook his head. "Nothing is on my mind," he insisted. "I swear it."

"You seem a little stressed out," Berwald insisted, "as if something is weighing you down." He frowned. "Are you certain that there is nothing? And don't you lie to me, Tino Väinämöinen." Berwald gave Tino a stern look. "What is bothering you?"

Tino ground his foot against the floor. "I'm not sure," he softly said. "I just woke up with a sinking feeling. Usually you can take away that feeling, so I want to be close to you today." He looked up at Berwald, violet eyes pouting. "If that's okay with you, of course…"

How could Berwald ever deny Tino a sense of security like that? He quickly snuggled Tino close and smiled. "Of course that's okay," he said, kissing the top of his boyfriend's head. "There would never be a time when that wouldn't be okay."

Tino pressed his face against Berwald's chest, inhaling the warm, welcoming scent of his shirt. He felt at peace and calm. "I'm glad," he breathed, smiling widely. "You're the best, Ber. I feel as if I should tell you that more often than I do."

"You can say it whenever you'd like," Berwald told him. "I'll believe it every time." He smiled at Tino and kissed the top of his head. Never had he felt more in love with someone than he felt with Tino Väinämöinen. That was for sure. "I'll believe it because I know that you wouldn't say it if it wasn't true."

Tino smiled and snuggled Berwald even more. "You know me so well, Ber." He sighed out happily and hugged his boyfriend closer to him. "That's why I love you so much. You've always taken the time to get to know me and care about my needs. I love you, Ber. You're truly the greatest man I've ever known."

"I'm glad to hear that," Berwald told him. Deep inside, he hoped that meant that Tino was slowly starting to forget Eduard. He secretly prayed that Tino would forget that stupid Estonian altogether.

.

Tino and Berwald were in their room reading when there was a knock at the door. They both looked up as Sigrid stood in the doorway and smiled to them, saying, "There's a young man at the door who wishes to speak with Tino."

The young Finnish boy paled and dropped his book to the floor, recoiling in on himself until he was in fetal position. "Please tell him to go away," he softly said. "I really do not wish to speak with him. He is a person of my past, and I wish for him to remain there."

Sigrid, confused, walked into the room and shut the door after herself. "Tino, what's wrong? You look scared to death. What did that boy do to you?"

Tino looked away. "I don't want to talk about it." He blinked back tears. "Just please tell him that I'm happy now and that I don't want to see him. Ever."

Sigrid frowned. "Tino, what did he do to you?"

He simply shook his head. "I can't, Sigrid. I just can't." Tino took a deep breath. "Tell that lying bastard to never come back here. Tell him that I never want to see him again, and that I'm finally happy again, and I plan to keep it that way." He fell over into his cot, still in fetal position, and remained silent.

"He must've done something pretty terrible," she mused.

"He did," Tino muttered back. "He took something of mine that wasn't his to take."

Sigrid's eyes widened in understanding as she frowned to prove to him that she understood. "You poor dear," she softly said. She sat on the edge of Tino's bed. "I had no idea. I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"It's fine," Tino said. "It wasn't as bad as you thought. I wasn't forced against my will, but the way it was initiated was just awful." He frowned. "It hurts so bad, and I never wanted to do it again."

Sigrid frowned. "I understand." She brushed Tino's hair out of his face with a gentle sweep of her hand. "I'll be sure to tell him to take a hike and never come back."

Berwald stood. He hated seeing Tino so distressed. It made him want to do something about it if he could. "No, Mother," Berwald stated. "I'm going to do it. I'm tired of seeing Tino like this whenever he is mentioned. I'm going to tell Eduard to leave and not to come back. You stay here and talk to Tino. Please make sure he's okay and make sure he's taken care of."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Sigrid began, but Berwald was already on his way out of the room.

Tino sighed but smiled to himself. "That's Berwald for you," he softly said. "Always looking out for the people he loves the most."

Sigrid smiled. "He gets that from his father. Richard always did things like that for people." Her heart was nearly bursting with pride. "My son is a wonderful boy."

.

Berwald went straight to the front door, opened it, and found Eduard. "You again?" he asked. "Didn't I tell you-"

"I heard what you said yesterday," Eduard said, adjusting his glasses. "But guess what, Berry, I don't give a damn. You may think you know Tino, but you don't know him like I do." He crossed his arms over his chest. "I know Tino Väinämöinen better than you do. Simple things like the names of his family members, what his favorite food is, how he likes his tea, what his favorite sexual position is, things like that. You don't know any of that, do you?"

Berwald clenched his jaw. "You are just the worst," he growled at him. "And that last one doesn't even pertain to the others."

"But it fired you up, didn't it?" Eduard asked, smirking at him. "And that's just the reaction I was wanting from you. You're jealous of me, and I like that. It brings me the advantage that I need."

"Tino has told us to tell you that he never wants to see you again and that he's happy with his life now, without you in it," Berwald stated. "He doesn't want you in his current life. You're not wanted, and you need to accept that and go back to wherever you came from."

Eduard glared at him. "I won't believe it until Tino tells me that himself. Until then, just expect me to return over and over."

Berwald glared at him. "Stop coming around. I mean it, Von Bock. If you want no harm to come to you, you had better stop showing your face around here. There are people more dangerous than me in this area that you had better watch out for."

"You? Dangerous?" Eduard smirked at him. "Don't make me laugh, Oxenstierna. You are not a threat to me."

"I might not be," Berwald calmly stated. "But there is more than me to fear here. Please remember that if you want to remain intact. Remember, Tino has told us what you've done. He will not hold back if he finds you."

"Is that some kind of empty threat to scare me?" Eduard asked him, scoffing. "Threats like that don't scare me, you know. I can tell when people are bluffing."

"Right," Berwald stated. "I'll just leave it to your imagination." He grabbed the doorknob. "It's best that you leave, Von Bock. Good day."

"This isn't over, Oxenstierna. I'll win him back," he declared. "I'll win Tino back, and you'll be sorry that you didn't hold on to him tighter."

"We'll see about that, Eduard," Berwald sighed. "Goodbye." He then shut the door in Eduard's face and locked it, leaning against it. His heart felt heavy as he thought about the idea of Tino actually having sex with that boy. What had been going on in Tino's head?

.

Tino slept for a good part of the afternoon, waking up when he heard the bedroom door open and shut. The weird thing was that he knew it wasn't Berwald because Berwald was quiet about opening and closing the bedroom door when he knew that he was asleep. He opened his eyes slightly to see Mathias wandering over to his bed.

"Mathias?" Tino yawned. "What time is it? What do you want?"

Mathias looked over at him. "I came here to talk to you about something I know you don't want to talk about," he answered. "I want to talk to you about that man that I heard you slept with…"

Tino immediately shook his head. "No, Mat. I can't do it. I won't talk about him."

"Look, it will stay between us," Mathias said. "You have my word. I just want to know what happened. I want to know what was so bad that you didn't want to see him ever again."

"It wasn't the sex that was so bad," Tino softly said, thinking back. "It was something much worse…"

.

 _Summer, 1937, Helsinki, Finland_

Eduard followed Tino up to his bedroom and shut the door behind him. "I've heard the experience of something like this is great," he told Tino. "So why don't we try it?"

Tino blushed. "I guess so," he softly said. "But how do we start it out? I've never done anything like this before. I've never even kissed a boy passionately before…"

"Then I'll lead you," Eduard said, smiling. "Everything is going to be okay." He placed his hands on Tino's hips and kissed him softly, letting Tino get used to that before he began licking at Tino's lips.

Tino pulled away for a moment. "Why are you doing that?" he asked, confused.

"Open your mouth when we kiss," Eduard instructed, "and I'll lead the way. Just do what I do, okay?"

"Okay," Tino softly said. He felt a little weird at first as he felt Eduard's tongue in his mouth, but he quickly recovered as he followed his friend's lead and did the same, battling Eduard's tongue with his own. Soon it became like a weird tongue dance, but for some reason, it secretly excited Tino.

The fourteen-year-old Finnish boy could feel the blood rushing through his veins as he kissed the slightly older boy. It excited him to the point that he was feeling things he had never felt before, like a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. What was this feeling?

Suddenly, Eduard's hands reached down into Tino's pants and grabbed his length. Tino blushed deeply, yet for some reason it felt good to him, and he didn't want Eduard to let go. In fact, he wanted Eduard to keep touching him like that. He wanted more and more. His pleasure was starting to get the best of him as he kissed the Eduard with all he had.

Eduard smiled at him. "Let me make love to you, Tino," he lustfully whispered into the Finnish boy's ear. "Please."

Tino, overcome by his lustful feelings, simply nodded and they went off to his bed.

After it was all said and done, Tino began to drift to sleep. He clung to Eduard's arm as they laid there. "Please don't leave me," Tino softly said.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Eduard promised. "You're special to me, Tino. I love you."

Tino, no matter how badly he knew he needed to say it back, refused to say those three words. He knew that it would be bad to say "I love you" without meaning it, so he wouldn't dare tell someone that if he didn't mean it. Instead, he just faked sleep until he finally did fall asleep.

Unfortunately, when he woke up, Eduard was gone without a trace. Tino knew in his heart that he would never see him again.

.

 _Early June, 1940, Stockholm, Sweden_

Tino sighed. "And that's all there really is to tell," he softly told Mathias. "There isn't much else to say, Mathias. He hurt me. He took my virginity, and he didn't even care. He left me alone like that, and it hurt. Now he comes back and demands to see me." He tucked his knees into his chest and shook his head. "I don't want to see him, Mat. I don't want to."

"That's understandable," Mathias answered. "He lied to you after doing something that important to you. I mean, I understand that you were just experimenting, but he should have still had the decency to stick around for a little bit afterwards." Mathias shook his head, fists clenched. "Let's hope I never cross paths with that boy…"

Tino sighed. "He's been to the house twice already. Berwald has made him leave both times. I know it bothers him because he refuses to talk to me for awhile after every encounter with him. And I feel as if mine and Berwald's relationship is becoming strained because of Eduard. I don't want to lose Ber, Mathias! He's the only thing that truly makes me happy! I can't lose the only person who is still so precious to me! I can't do it!" His eyes filled with tears. "I need to make Eduard stop coming around here before Berwald decides he doesn't love me anymore! It's becoming so hard to even talk to Berwald lately because all he does is ask about Eduard! Can't the mistakes of my past just be forgotten along with the rest of my past?! No one cares about anything else from my past!" His tears began to flow. "It's not fair!"

Mathias patted Tino's back. "Hey, don't cry, Tino. I'm sure Berwald is just as stressed out as you are about it. He just has a weird way of showing things because he's always kept his emotions bottled up. Honestly, I never even knew Berwald could be happy until you came along. He's always been stiff and serious, but when you showed up he started smiling and even laughing sometimes. I know that no one else can make him do those things. Remember that when you're in love, things about you change. You've changed as well, Tino. You're not the same Tino who experimented around with that Estonian boy a few years back."

"You're right," Tino slowly said, realizing it as well. "I'm Tino Väinämöinen, who now lives in Stockholm, Sweden and is madly in love with Berwald Oxenstierna. That's who I am now."

"That's right," Mathias encouraged. "Who you were when you made your past mistakes isn't who you are now. They are two completely different Tinos. Go and tell Berwald that right now."

Tino stood up. "You know what?" he said, turning to Mathias. "I'm going to. I'm going to walk straight up to Berwald right now, and I'm going to tell him that who I was when I did that is not who I am today. I'll tell him that who I am today is a much better person who is wanting much better things in life, like the love of a perfect Swedish boy."

Mathias smiled. "You're such a sap."

Tino blushed and turned to him. "Shut up!" he whined.

.

Tino searched all around for Berwald, but he couldn't find him, so he finally gave up and went to the shed, finding him there, working on more wooden figurines. He took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Berwald," he calmly said, getting his boyfriend's attention. "I want to talk to you about something that's been on my heart today. There is something very important that I want you to know."

"What's that?" Berwald asked, feeling the dread in the pit of his stomach. It was burning him like acid. Was Tino about to break things off with him? Was this the end? It couldn't be! He wouldn't let go! He couldn't let go! "Wait," he said, taking Tino off guard. "Before you say anything, I have something I wish to tell you as well."

"Then you go first," Tino encouraged with a nod. He wanted to hear what Berwald had to say.

"I know you've been sneaky about your past relationship with this Eduard person," Berwald began. He took a deep breath and let it out, trying to find the inner confidence to continue speaking. He had to do this for the sake of his love life. "But the truth is, I don't care what happened between the two of you. What I truly care about is what happens between us. I don't care if we have sex or not. None of that truly matters to me. What I do care about is if you love me or not. I want you to love me like I love you, which is more than anything in the world. I want you to love me and think I'm flawless, like I think of you. I don't care that you aren't pure according to the rest of society, you're pure to me because you're Tino and I love you."

Tino, overwhelmed by what Berwald had to say, leaped for him and kissed him passionately. He was so in love. He knew that it took a lot for Berwald to say that, knowing that Berwald barely even said that much in a day, let alone all at once. He was truly touched.

"Now what is it that you wanted to say?" Berwald asked him.

"I wanted to let you know that the me who slept with Eduard a few years back isn't the me who is here with you now," Tino said. "That me doesn't exist anymore. That me was only experimenting to see if I even liked men. The truth was, I didn't think I liked men as much as I thought I did until I met you. You were different from most men that I ever knew. I love you, Berwald Oxenstierna. I can't express to you how perfect you are to me. You are amazing and all-around wonderful to me. Please stay that way for me."

Berwald smiled and kissed him softly. "As long as it's for you, I'll be anything you want me to be."


	12. Chapter 12

Tino woke the next morning, tangled in Berwald's embrace. If it wasn't for his strong urge to use the restroom, he would have stayed like that forever. After a moment or two, Tino finally managed to untangle his limbs from Berwald's. He smiled and kissed Berwald's cheek softly before whispering, "I love you." His smile didn't leave his face even after he left the room. He tangled himself back into Berwald's arms the moment he reached the bed again.

As he laid there, he thought of how happy he was with Berwald, how perfect Berwald was for him. Tino had never met someone so perfect in his entire life. All Tino wanted was to grow old with Berwald, and maybe even marry him someday. He wanted nothing more than the happiness of being by Berwald's side for the rest of his life. Tino was so in love that he almost couldn't bear it. His heart would always beat madly in his chest whenever he got to thinking in such ways.

Berwald opened his eyes slightly and smiled at Tino. "Mornin'," he muttered.

"Tino smiled back. "Good morning," he breathlessly whispered back. He was so captivated by Berwald's blue-green eyes that he just gazed into them admiringly. "You are amazing." His lips grazed Berwald's as he smiled wider. "And I love you, Berwald Oxenstierna."

Berwald, not finding any words in his vocabulary suitable enough to respond to Tino, wrapped his arms around the Finnish boy's waist, pulling him closer. He then pressed his lips to Tino's needily, smiling into the kisses. His lips pulled back into a wider smile after hearing a slight squeal of glee escape Tino's lips. He knew he was definitely doing good by Tino's standards.

Tino giggled when they pulled apart, his violet eyes flashing. "Ber, you're incredible," he whispered, awestruck. His cheeks were flushed a light pink. "Kiss me like that more often," he encouraged. "I loved it."

"I'll be sure to," Berwald agreed with a nod. "I'll kiss you anyway you wish to be kissed, Tino."

The Finnish boy grinned. "I like that offer, Berwald," he told his Swedish boyfriend. "When can I take you up on that?" He eyed Berwald curiously, violet eyes teasing and full of flirtation. "Whenever I want?"

One of Berwald's hands slid to Tino's hip and squeezed, causing Tino to quietly squeak in surprise. "Of course," he answered in a husky whisper. "You can have my kisses whenever you want them."

Tino smiled widely. "Then I want more now while I thank you properly." He reached down into Berwald's boxers and grabbed his member, rendering the swedish boy completely helpless, like putty in his hands. His hands massaged his lover's length with expert skill as it grew in his hands. Tino's lips remained practically glued to Berwald's as he handled his length, giggling at the moans that would escape Berwald's lips every few moments.

Soon, Berwald couldn't take it anymore and let it go, quickly making an excuse to go and shower, face red with blush. He kissed Tino's forehead as he got up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome anytime," Tino assured with a wink.

That caused Berwald to blush even harder and hurry from the room as Tino giggled from his bed.

.

Berwald found himself humming as he made coffee that morning. He felt really good, whether it was from what Tino had done that morning or not. His mood was high and cheerful, and he doubted even Eduard could bring it down.

Tino wandered into the kitchen, yawning cutely. He hugged Berwald and buried his face in his boyfriend's chest. His senses took in everything about Berwald from his warmth to his scent. Everything was all Berwald to him, and that was how he liked it.

"Still feeling cuddly today?" Berwald asked him, smiling. He wrapped his arms around Tino and kissed the top of his head. "I love it when you're like this, Tino."

"Then keep holding me," Tino said, squeezing Berwald tightly. "I love this, Ber. Never let go, darling." He breathed in the scent of Berwald, wanting to remember everything about the moment, from the smell of coffee brewing to the way Berwald felt and smelled, to the exact pace his heart was beating at. "No, it's not that I love this," he softly said. "It's that I love you, Berwald. And I would ever want anyone else in all my life."

"You're for certain on that?" Berwald asked him, looking down at him.

"If you're asking about people from my past as well, then that is a definite yes," Tino said, looking up at him. "I want only you to love me. I want only good things for us from now on until forever. Don't you get it, Berwald?" He stepped back so he could look at Berwald better. "I. Love. You. I only love you, Ber. What's so hard to understand about that?" His eyes filled with tears. "I thought we were past my mistakes, but why does it seem like we aren't? Is it because I haven't faced him myself? Is that it? Because I'll do it if I have to. I can prove to you that I do not love him, that I can turn him away myself."

Berwald just stared at him. He hadn't meant any of that by what he said. He just wanted to make sure Tino was certain on wanting someone as simple as him, yet Tino had taken it in a completely different way. Berwald opened his mouth to correct Tino, but the Finnish boy wouldn't allow it.

"Yeah, I'll do it, Berwald," Tino said. "I'll get rid of Eduard once and for all. You'll see. I just need Mathias's help."

"Mathias?" Berwald asked, confused.

Tino looked up at him. "Oh, don't you worry about it," he simply said. "I've got it all under control."

Berwald suddenly felt extremely nervous.

.

Mathias stood outside with Tino as he watched the younger male set up bottles and cans about 100 meters away from them. "So why did I have to bring these again?" he asked, gesturing to the duffel bag at his feet. "I could get in serious trouble if I'm found out, you know. Not from the authorities, but Aunt Sigrid."

"It's important," Tino simply said. "I have to prove something that I should've done a long time ago." He took a deep breath after putting the last bottle in its place. Tino ran over to Mathias. "Now, I just need to know how to set up and load one of these, and I think I'm good."

"Look, these are real machines, Tino," Mathias stated. "It's not like a picnic. This isn't a game with toys and shit. These could kill someone."

Tino sighed. "You think I don't know that?" he asked. "I've had experience dealing with guns before. Wolf and I used to go out to a shooting range with our dad all the time. I've shot a sniper rifle before. I was one of the best. I've never missed a single target. It's just that I'm a bit rusty and need to sharpen my skills again since it's been so long…."

"You what?" Mathias asked in shock as Tino opened the bag at his feet. "How is it that I've never heard of any of this until now?"

"Because you never asked," Tino simply stated. "Now help me out in assembling this. I haven't used this model before." He got out all of the pieces and began to assemble it with little difficulty. "Actually, I think I've got it."

"Since when are you a weapons expert?" Mathias incredulously demanded.

"There's a lot about me that you don't know," Tino stated, looking up at him. "I just kept quiet about a lot of things because I like Berwald sticking up for me. But the truth is, I really can hold my own if I need to. It just doesn't suit my looks."

Mathias stood there, open-mouthed for a moment. "What the fuck?" he asked as Tino loaded the fully-assembled rifle. "You little…."

Tino stood up with his loaded rifle and began to fire at the bottles and cans one by one. He never missed one as he narrowed his eyes to focus better. "When I'm through with Eduard, he'll never come back here again."

The older male suddenly realized Tino had a gun and was an excellent shot. "You're not planning on shooting him, are you?" he asked, worried.

"That's only if he makes any sudden movements," Tino answered casually. "I don't plan to shoot him, but it's not my fault if he moves."

"You're fucking scary," Mathias said, side-stepping away from the small Finnish boy.

Tino smirked. "Sometimes, that's just what I like to hear," he said before narrowing his eyes and pulling the trigger once more, hitting the next target.

.

Berwald sat in his room, wondering what Tino and Mathias were up to. Yet he couldn't bring himself to worry too much about it. There was too much going on in his own head. He couldn't understand how Tino could have misunderstood him earlier that day, but yet it had happened. Now Tino was off trying desperately to prove his love, something he shouldn't have to do at all. Berwald didn't want that. He had never asked for that. He knew that Tino loved him. And he loved Tino as well. If only there was a way to get that point across to him.

He sighed and laid down on his bed. His heart was beating madly in his chest, and he couldn't get it to slow down with all of the thoughts racing through his mind. With every new though, his heart would just beat faster, and he hated it. It was starting to worry him, only adding more and more thoughts until he felt like his heart would burst from beating too fast for too long.

Exhausted, he rolled on his side and closed his eyes, removing his glasses. If anything, he wanted all of these strange, worried feelings to go away. He wanted to stop worrying about Tino and Eduard. He was constantly reminding himself that it was the past and shouldn't matter anymore, but why did it hurt him so much whenever Eduard showed up and would threaten to steal Tino back.

Berwald clenched his fist. There was no way he would give Tino up just like that. Not without a fight. Tino was his. He loved Tino more than someone like Eduard could ever begin to dream of. There was nothing he wouldn't do for his amazing Finn, and he hoped that Tino knew that. He loved Tino so much that he almost couldn't take it. Just the thought of Tino would make his heart swell and beat faster and faster in his chest as well.

As much as he hated to admit that he had any weaknesses at all, there was a large one that he knew he had. And that weakness weakness was Tino. No matter how much he may try to deny it, he would never be able to shake the thought that Tino was the best person to ever live. He could never stop loving that Finn, even if Tino were to go and love someone else. Berwald knew he would never love another if he couldn't have Tino in the end.

And just the thought of never falling in love again both excited and terrified him.

.

Tino came back into the house around dinner time with Mathias. He was drenched in sweat but wore a smile of triumph, whereas Mathias just looked completely shocked and horrified.

"Where were the two of you all day?" Sigrid asked as she set the table.

Mathias, still wide-eyed, answered for them. "We were out for a hike in the woods. Tino's a savage, Aunt Sigrid. He scares me. Don't ever worry about him not being able to defend himself. He's got it all taken care of."

Tino smiled sweetly at her. "If you don't mind, I'd like to clean up a little before dinner. Is that all right?"

Sigrid smiled back. "Of course, dear," she said. She shook her head in disbelief at Mathias. There was no way her precious, sweet, little Tino could be a "savage". "When you're finished, could you wake up Berwald and tell him dinner is ready?"

Tino nodded. "Of course I can, Sigrid." He then went straight to the bathroom for a well-deserved bath.

.

After his bath, Tino went into the bedroom he shared with Berwald. He noticed Berwald's sleeping form on the bed and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. His fingers ran through Berwald's hair, which was in desperate need of a trim as it was getting a little long. He smiled and kissed Berwald's forehead.

Berwald's eyes fluttered open. "Tino?" he asked, yawning. He reached for his glasses on the nightstand. "What time is it?"

"Dinner is ready," Tino told him, water droplets from his hair falling onto his hand and Berwald's arm. "Want to go and ear?"

"Can we talk for a moment first?" Berwald asked.

"Sure," Tino told him. He sat up straighter as Berwald sat up. "What are we talking about?" His heart hammered in his chest as he waited for Berwald to say something. Whenever someone wanted to talk to him in the past, it was never anything good.

"I love you," Berwald simply said. He reached for Tino's hands and held them. "I mean it, Tino. I really, really love you. I want to stay with you forever if you'll let me. I don't care what kinds of things may come up in life, we can face them together. I know we can."

Tino smiled. "I love you, too," he said. "But in order for us to be truly happy, I have to face my past head-on. And it has to be something I must do alone. I've been preparing for it all day. Next time Eduard comes here, I'll deal with him. I'll make him leave, I promise. And trust me, when I tell him to leave, he'll never come back."

Berwald looked at him curiously. "How are you so sure of that?"

"You'll just have to trust me and Mathias on this," Tino told him. "Mathias is even sure that Eduard won't come back." He looked up at Berwald, violet eyes pleading. "I need you to trust me on this."

"I do trust you," Berwald told him. "And I believe that things will work out because I know you can do it."

Tino smiled and crawled into Berwald's lap, hugging him. "Thanks, Ber. I knew you would believe in me." He pressed his lips to Berwald's. "I love you, and I never want to love anyone else."

"Trust me," Berwald softly said, "neither do I."

.

Mathias approached Berwald the next day while Tino was out having his little target practice. He was wringing his hands and looking nervous, which was something Berwald wasn't used to, so that made Berwald slightly nervous.

"What's going on?" Berwald asked.

"Berwald, I don't know how to tell you this," Mathias began. He gulped and looked toward the front door, checking to see if Tino was coming in. Relieved that he wasn't, he continued. "Tino is insane, Berwald. I have reason to believe he's lost his mind over this whole Eduard thing."

"What makes you think that?" Berwald asked.

"He pretends to be helpless and defenseless," Mathias began. "Trust me on this, Berwald. That boy can defend himself just as easily as you or I can, if not easier."

"Well I didn't ever see him as weak," Berwald simply stated. He frowned. "But how do you know how easily Tino can defend himself?"

"I was with him all afternoon yesterday," Mathias told him. "He's insane, Berwald. Remember how he had that rubber band and would shoot us with paper when he couldn't talk?" He bit his lip as Berwald nodded. "Tino is a sniper, Berwald. He's so good at it that he could be in the fucking military!"

Berwald's eyes widened. "How do you know all of this?!" he demanded.

"Because I watched him shoot at targets yesterday with a rifle!" Mathias looked about ready to pass out. "He was terrifyingly good at it!"

"Who gave him a fucking rifle?!"

Mathias then went quiet. He didn't want to admit to Berwald that he was the one who gave Tino a weapon for fear that his cousin would tell his mother. His aunt would tear into him immediately if she were to find out.

"You did it, didn't you?" Berwald growled at him. "And he's out there with it right now, isn't he?" He grabbed Mathias by his shirt collar and slammed him against the wall, rage taking over. He had never been more furious in his life. "Where is he?!"

"He's in the woods," Mathias said, shocked at his cousin's rage. He had never seen Berwald so angry. There was fire in the younger male's eyes.

Berwald let go of Mathias's collar and stormed out the door, grabbing his coat and slipping on his boots on his way out. He followed the sounds of gunshots as he looked wildly around for Tino. His mind couldn't focus on anything. All he wanted to know was why Tino would want a gun in the first place.

"Tino!" he called out. "Where are you?!"

.

Tino was in his zone as he fired at the targets he had set up. He breathed in through his nose and exhaled through his mouth as he shot, making sure his complete focus was on each target. He had forgotten how great of a stress relief it was. It was like nothing he had ever experienced.

He looked up as he heard Berwald calling his name. How could Berwald have found out he was out here? This wasn't good! What would he say if he found him with the rifle? Tino began to panic. What could he say to Berwald about what he was doing?

Berwald came through the clearing and looked around and the broken bottles all around. His eyes then rested on the rifle in Tino's hand. "So it's true," he softly said, just loud enough for Tino to hear. "What are you doing? Why do you have that?"

Tino was like a child caught doing something wrong. "I just…" His voice trailed off as tears filled his eyes. "I just wanted to solve a problem on my own."

"What problem?" Berwald asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"The Eduard problem," Tino said. "No one takes me seriously as I am, so I figured seeming more adult-like would scare him off."

"Were you going to shoot him?" Berwald asked, voice trembling with an emotion that Tino couldn't detect. Was it fear or anger?

"No!" Tino quickly answered, voice growing louder as he continued talking. "I wasn't going to shoot him, I swear!"

"Then why do you have all of these targets, Tino?" Berwald asked, gesturing around them. "What were you planning on doing to him? You know, the whole situation is fucked enough without you bringing guns and violence into it."

Tino began to pale. "Berwald, I didn't mean to anger you," he quickly said. "I just wanted to-"

"Just wanted to what, Tino?" Berwald demanded. "Violence and guns are never the answer." He then turned and stormed back off toward the house.

The Finnish boy stood there in a dumbstruck silence. "Berwald," he softly said, falling to his knees. He laid the gun on the ground as his tears began to spill. He couldn't stop them, no matter how hard he tried. All he wanted to do was run after Berwald and cling to him, telling him how sorry he was, but he knew better than to do that. He knew that Berwald wanted to be away from him right now.

Tino sobbed and sobbed, wishing that he had never met Eduard. He wished he had never lost his virginity to that stuck-up boy. If he hadn't done that, then maybe Berwald wouldn't be so angry with him at that moment.

He hated himself so much at that moment. All he wanted was to die. His gaze went down to the gun that rested just in front of his knees, but Berwald's voice echoed in his head. " _Violence and guns are never the answer_." Tino had to remind himself that no matter how hard things were at that moment, the feelings he was feeling would eventually pass. Or at least he hoped they would.

He took some deep breaths to calm himself down. "You can handle this, Tino," he told himself. "You're stronger than this. Berwald always complimented you on your strength. You're strong." His eyes watered and he began crying again. Why was it so hard?

Only when he stopped crying did he realize why Berwald was so mad at him. Richard Oxenstierna, Berwald's father, was killed in a war, by a fatal gunshot wound...


	13. Chapter 13

Tino dragged his feet all the way back to the house. He couldn't believe that Berwald was so upset with him. Honestly, he couldn't blame him. Tino was upset with himself as well. How could he have resorted to something so low just to get rid of Eduard like that? Violence and guns really weren't the answer. He knew that. Yet why was he so insistent on it? Maybe he wanted to show off to Berwald and show him that he really wasn't as helpless as he seemed. But oh what a toll that really took on their relationship.

He didn't say a word to anyone as he walked into the house. He simply went into his and Berwald's room and grabbed his blanket. Wrapping it around himself, he went to the living room and sat in the chair in the corner. He stared into the fire with a blank look on his face, just wanting to die on the inside.

Sigrid looked at Berwald as she watched Tino. "What's going on?" she asked him.

Berwald glared over at Tino. "I don't know, and I really don't care. Maybe he's just feeling sorry for himself."

"Stop that right now!" Sigrid said, smacking Berwald's arm. "That is not a way to talk about someone you love!"

Her son just stayed silent. His eyes fixed on Tino as he watched his every movement, from the way his shoulders shook and trembled to the way he wiped his eyes. Berwald was hurting just as badly, yet his mother didn't seem to care about that. He began to grow unreasonably angry as he began to think she only really cared for the one in front of the fire.

"What, so you only care about _his_ feelings now?" Berwald loudly demanded, causing Tino and Mathias, who was washing dishes, to look over.

Sigrid took a step back, shocked. "Berwald, what has gotten into you?" she asked, blinking in surprise.

"What's gotten into _me_?!" Berwald demanded. "Why don't you go and ask Tino what's gotten into _him_?! You might get a more interesting story that way!" He stormed off to his room and slammed the door.

Tino cringed where he sat and burst into tears when the door slammed. "I didn't want things to be this way!" he sobbed. "I didn't mean it!"

Sigrid rushed to Tino's side. "What happened, Tino? I know that if I go and ask Berwald he won't talk to me."

The Finnish boy vigorously shook his head. "You're going to hate me just like he does!" he insisted.

"Berwald doesn't hate you," Sigrid told him. "He's just having a tough time, sweetheart." She put an arm around Tino. "Now what's going on that's just so terrible?"

Tino shook his head. "I can't tell you. You're going to hate me. I did something horribly wrong."

Mathias walked over. "Aunt Sigrid, please don't make him tell you." He placed a hand on Sigrid's shoulder. "I know what's going on, and it might upset you to know. I mean, look how upset Ber is."

"I don't understand," Sigrid softly said.

"I don't want you to know yet," Tino said, shaking his head as tears streamed down his face once more. "I can't let you know yet." He squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm sorry!" he wailed. "I'm so sorry!" He then threw himself onto the couch and cried himself into a nap.

.

Berwald laid awake that night, unable to sleep without reconciling with Tino. He didn't want to go to bed angry and without telling Tino what had been on his heart all day. His mind was racing all over the place and he really needed to tell Tino what was on it, but he didn't want Tino to respond. He just wanted to say it and be done.

He figured that now was a better time than any to say it, considering that everyone in the house was asleep. Tino was still out on the couch, having set up camp out there that night so as not to disturb Berwald. Berwald really had let his anger get the best of him that afternoon and honestly felt bad for it. He hoped he hadn't damaged Tino's feelings too badly.

His footsteps were silent as he crept down the hallway past his mother's bedroom. He didn't want to wake his mother up at all. He stopped when he reached the back of the couch.

"What you did this afternoon hurt," he softly began. "But I forgive you because you only had the best intentions. True, I don't know what the fuck you were thinking, but it's no reason for me to stay angry with you." He leaned down and brushed Tino's hair out of his face. "The truth is, I love you so much. I can't stay angry with you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for what I said. Without you, I'm nothing." Berwald leaned down and kissed Tino's cheek. "I love you so much, Tino. I know I hurt you today, and I'm so sorry. It's been nagging at me all day. Please don't leave me or hate me."

"I don't hate you," Tino softly said, opening one violet eye. "I've been wracking my brain all day to think of a way to apologize to you."

Berwald blinked his eyes in surprise. "I-I-I didn't know you were awake."

"Did you really think I could sleep while thinking you were mad at me?" Tino asked him. He opened his other eye and gave Berwald a pleading look. "Can I come back to the room?"

"Of course you can," Berwald said, smiling. He timed himself perfectly so that right when Tino sat up their lips met. A smile found its way to his face as Tino's arms snaked their way around his neck. "I've missed you."

"I won't do it again," Tino softly said when they pulled apart. He looked down. "I learned my lesson. I need to be assertive with Eduard, not aggressive." He stood up and gathered his blanket and pillow.

"Let's go to our room, Tino," Berwald said. He led the way to the room and placed Tino's blanket on his own bed. "I want us to sleep together tonight."

Tino smiled at Berwald. "Oh, Ber!" he excitedly said, standing on his tip-toes and kissing Berwald. He placed his hands on Berwald's shoulders, bringing him down to his level so he could kiss him easier. "I never thought perfection existed until I met you!"

Berwald's arms circled Tino's hips. "I could easily say the same about you." He kissed Tino once more. "I'm sorry for getting angry earlier."

"No," Tino said, putting a finger to Berwald's lips. "You had every right to be angry, Ber. What I did wasn't right. I know you hate guns. That was all my fault. I take the full responsibility." His eyes filled with tears. "You had every right to be angry with me. I keep feeling like I'm taking one step forward, but I'm really taking two steps back. It's like I can't help myself or something." He began to cry again. "Oh, God. I'm crying again…"

Berwald wiped away Tino's tears. "Yes, I was upset," he said. "Please just be more considerate next time is all I ask." He kissed Tino's forehead. "That's all I want from you."

Tino nodded. "I promise that I will be. I will do anything for you, Berwald." His hand reached up and stroked the side of Berwald's face. "I love you so much."

"I'm glad that you do," Berwald softly stated. He smiled and placed his hand over Tino's. "I'd be pretty upset if my love was one-sided."

Tino's lips crashed back into Berwald's once more. "Oh, Ber," he said between kisses. "Kiss me more."

"I'm trying," Berwald muttered between kisses. "Now stop talking so I can."

The Finnish boy quickly followed his boyfriend's command and wrapped his arms around Berwald's neck once more as they kissed. He tangled his fingers in the Swedish boy's as they both sat on the bed, Tino crawling instantly into Berwad's lap and straddling his hips. His kisses became more passionate once in that position.

"I love you," Tino panted between kisses. "I love you so much, Ber."

"I love you too, Tino," was Berwald's gruff reply. His lips moved on Tino's with expert skill. "I never want to be with anyone else."

"Neither do I," Tino softly sighed, pressing his forehead to Berwald's and smiling. He was breathless from kissing Berwald and needed some air. "You are amazing, Ber. Absolutely amazing."

Berwald chuckled to himself. "No, you are." He smiled, catching his breath. "I love you." His eyelids felt heavy. "What do you say we go to bed, Tino? It's late, don't you think?"

Tino yawned. "Yeah, it's pretty late," he said. He crawled off of Berwald's lap and sat on his usual side of Berwald's bed. "We should just go to bed, Ber."

"We can do that," Berwald said, crawling over to his side of the bed. He smiled at Tino and kissed his cheek. "It's the middle of the night. We probably should get to bed if I'm going to make coffee tomorrow."

"Get to bed," Tino quickly said, eyes wide. "Not even messing around, Ber. Get to bed."

Berwald laid down. "Right away, Tino."

Tino snuggled up to him and rested his head on his shoulder. "Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight, my darling."

.

Berwald woke up at his usual time the next morning, hearing Tino softly snoring next to him. He smiled to himself and sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Though he was up late, he couldn't sleep in. Everyone was counting on him to make coffee that morning, just like every morning. He fumbled for his glasses on his nightstand and put them on when he finally found them.

Now that everything was clearer, he got out of bed and went to the kitchen to make the coffee. He made it his usual way and leaned against the counter, closing his eyes. He hadn't realized how tired he was until that exact moment. His eyelids felt extremely heavy.

Tino wandered into the kitchen, looking just as sleepy as Berwald. He yawned cutely and cuddled Berwald. "Good morning," he greeted.

"What are you doing up?" Berwald asked. "You look just as tired as I do."

"Trust me, I am," Tino said. "But I didn't think it was fair for you to be awake alone while I slept soundly when I was part of the reason you were up so late."

Berwald smiled. "You're adorable." He kissed Tino's temple and smiled.

Tino giggled and snuggled him more. "I can't wait until the coffee is done. Are you going to bed right afterwards, Ber?"

"I haven't decided yet," Berwald told him. He yawned. "I mean, I'm really tired. But if you stay up, I'll stay up with you as long as I can make myself." He gave Tino a tired smile. "Does that work?"

"You don't have to stay up at all if you don't want to," Tino quickly said. "I wasn't expecting you to."

Berwald blinked at him. "Why not?"

"You need your rest," Tino softly said, pulling away. He looked down at the floor. "You should probably sleep, Berwald. I don't want anything happening to you."

"Happen to me?" Berwald asked, confused.

"You could get sick if you don't get enough rest," Tino told him. "I don't want you getting sick, Ber." He stared at his feet even more. "I would feel like it's my fault."

"No," Berwald softly said. "It wouldn't be your fault at all." He hugged Tino. "It would be mine for being an idiot."

" _Nej_ ," Tino softly said, closing his eyes and leaning into Berwald's chest. He yawned cutely and smacked his lips a couple times. "I didn't think I'd be this tired, though."

"You never do," Berwald said with a chuckle. He looked as the coffee was nearly done. "But your coffee is almost finished brewing."

"Already?" Tino asked, blinking up at Berwald. "I didn't know it all happened that fast."

"You should probably go back to sleep after your coffee," Berwald suggested. "If you can."

Tino yawned and nodded. "You're right, Ber," he softly said. "I probably should." He smirked at his boyfriend. "But that doesn't mean that I will."

"Always the stubborn one, Tino," Berwald sighed, yet he still smiled to himself. He was so in love with this stubborn Finn that he just couldn't help it. All he wanted to do was take him back to their room and snuggle him all morning.

"I'm not stubborn," Tino huffed. "I just have opinions and rights."

"Right," Berwald sighed. "You have rights." He rolled his eyes, smiling softly to himself. Tino was so stubborn that sometimes Berwald had to coax him back to the bedroom on mornings like these. "You're sure you don't want to come snuggle with me after coffee?"

Tino blinked in surprise. "Wait, I get snuggles?" he asked. "Yes, I want snuggles. Let's snuggle, Berwald!"

Berwald shushed Tino, grinning. "I have to distribute coffee first, and you have to drink yours, and then we can."

"Then what are you waiting for?" Tino asked.

"I'm waiting for it to cool," Berwald said, gesturing to the pot. "So hold on a few moments."

Tino sighed and grumbled to himself in Finnish. Berwald suspected that it was about not getting the loving he wanted right that second, but he wasn't too sure. Either way, Berwald decided to stay out of it. That was Tino's issue.

.

Berwald woke up next to Tino on his bed. It seemed as if they had both fallen asleep. He rubbed his eyes and put his glasses on so he could see clearly. Tino was snoring softly beside him, so he decided not to disturb his precious love and got up from bed as soundlessly as he could.

His feet padded across the floor in his socks as he made his way to the door before he heard Tino's quiet voice ask, "Ber?"

"Yes?" Berwald asked, turning back to Tino. He was just inches from the doorway.

"The bed is a lot colder without you in it," Tino groggily said. "Can I use your blanket?"

"Of course," Berwald told him, going over to the bed. He grabbed his blanket and draped it over Tino's resting form. "Get some good sleep in."

"I will," Tino softly said, violet eyes fluttering closed. "I love you."

Berwald kissed Tino's forehead. "I love you too," he softly said before walking back over to the door. "Sleep well." He heard Tino mutter some kind of response and went out into the house.

"Nice to see you're awake, Ber," Sigrid said, smiling. She patted the couch next to her. "I haven't had a chance to talk to you about yesterday yet. Why don't you come and sit by me?"

"I'll sit by you, but I don't want to talk about yesterday," Berwald sighed. "It might aggravate me. I don't want to think about the past if it doesn't matter anymore."

"I like the way you think, Berwald," Sigrid said with a smile. "I think more people should view things like you do."

"If only they did," he sighed, sitting down. His mind immediately went to Tino and how Tino was constantly thinking that Berwald hated him because of Eduard. "That would make life so much easier."

"Are you speaking with a double meaning, Ber?" Sigrid asked, raising an eyebrow to her son. "I think something bad happened between you and Tino yesterday, but you don't want to talk about it."

"Why would you think something like that?" Berwald asked her. "Because I told you I didn't?" he added sarcastically. "Honestly, it's nothing bad, and it's all resolved now."

"Oh really?" Sigrid asked. "It's all resolved?"

"Yes," Berwald said with an impatient nod. His mother's expression was cool and unreadable.

"So if I called upon that boy you keep arguing with in our yard, then everything would be just fine?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Mother, you would be hurting Tino more than anyone else if you did that," Berwald warned. "Please don't." He put his hands up in defense. "I'll tell you about yesterday if you please just don't ever invite that boy over."

"What happened then?" Sigrid asked, glad that her bluff had worked on her son.

"Tino was out in the woods having target practice," Berwald began. "I got mad at him for playing with guns. Those things are dangerous." He thought of his father, who was killed by a fatal gunshot wound. "They killed Dad…"

Sigrid frowned. "He didn't mean to hurt you, Berwald. I'm sure he forgot."

"He did forget," Berwald said. "And that upsets me even more."

"Why does it upset you?" Sigrid asked.

"Because when you love someone, you should remember things like that," Berwald softly stated, looking down at his hands, which were folded in his lap. "You should always remember those kinds of things, Mother."

She nodded her understanding. "I can see where you're coming from," she softly said. "But I can see where Tino was coming from as well. He wanted to solve the problem quickly, so he was going to scare that boy with guns, correct?" She sighed when Berwald nodded. "Not everything is done the way you like it, Ber," she said, placing her hand on her son's shoulder. "But we have to accept that about people. We are all different, and we all do things differently."

Berwald sighed as he nodded. "I know that, Mother. I am aware. I just wish that Tino would…" _I just wish that Tino would ask me about things first._

"That Tino would what?" Sigrid asked, cocking her head to the side. "You can't change him, Berwald. And if you try to, then shame on you."

He felt ashamed of himself for thinking that he could change Tino's perspective to his own. How dare he even think such a thing! Tino would never forgive him if he ever found out.

"It's nothing," Berwald sighed. "Forget that I said anything." He stood up and began to walk toward the kitchen.

"I won't forget," Sigrid softly told her son. "And I hope you don't forget either. Never try to make someone be what they're not. You'll only regret it."

Berwald nodded. He knew his mother wouldn't understand anyway. She was too old-fashioned to understand how he felt about certain things. Maybe one day she would understand, but he guessed that moment was not the time.

.

Tino woke up later and stretched, yawning. He looked around for Berwald, but he found himself alone in their room. He shook his head and frowned. Where was he?

He left the bedroom and wandered around the house. No one was home. Sigrid must've been out shopping and Berwald and Mathias were probably out in the shed.

A knock on the front door made Tino jump. He knew who it was, and he knew he had to answer it. Eduard had finally come, and it was finally his turn to answer him. This time, Tino knew what was going on. He knew what he was going to say as well. All it took now was the courage to answer the door.

As soon as the door swung open, Tino heard Eduard's voice come to him, calmly saying, "We meet again, Tino. Oh, how I've missed you."


	14. Chapter 14

"Isn't there something you'd like to tell me?" Eduard asked Tino, leaning against the doorframe. "Like how you moved on and turned me into the scum of the earth? That Berwald guy really seems to hate me."

Tino squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to find his happy place before he lost it. All of his emotions were getting ready to pour forth, and he had no idea what would happen if they did. He tried to tell himself that Eduard wasn't really there. If he pretended enough, then maybe Eduard would just disappear.

"Look, I didn't mean to hurt you," Eduard said. "A lot happened between us, you know? I mean, we went all the way with each other. That's got to count for something, Tino."

"Why are you here?" Tino slowly asked, not daring to open his violet eyes. He didn't want to see that stupid Estonian boy.

"I'm here to win your heart," Eduard said. "We already know just how compatible we are. What do you say, Tino? Leave the Swede for me."

Tino's eyes flew open at Eduard's words. "Never," he growled. "I will never leave Berwald for you!" He was suddenly filled with a rage that he couldn't suppress. How dare Eduard suggest such a thing! "We may have history, but he has my future!"

"Never thought you'd be the type to fall in love," Eduard said. "Let me guess, he started off as a winter fling, and you decided you preferred winter to summer?" His words were dripping with sarcasm and distaste. "What makes him so special?"

"Berwald would never leave me," Tino stated. He held his head high. "He loves me for more than just my body. He loves my mind and my heart, which is more than I could say for you! Tell me, all summer long, did you only want to get close to me so I'd sleep with you?"

"Now, Tino, what do you think?" Eduard asked, annoyed. "Do you really see me as that kind of guy?"

"You left me all alone the next morning!" Tino cried out.

"You knew I was leaving! I had to go!" Eduard countered. "I'm not as bad of a guy as you think I am! When I heard Helsinki was bombed, I searched everywhere for you! I thought you were dead, Tino!"

"And what would it have mattered if I was?" Tino quietly asked. "It's not like it would make much of a difference."

"Whatever you believe about me is not true," Eduard stated. "I love you, Tino. I always have! Ever since I first met you, I have wanted you to be mine!"

Tino's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes," Eduard said, exasperated. "I can't imagine my life without you any longer. I need you, Tino. And from the looks of it, you need me too."

"What makes you say that?" Tino asked, confused. He walked closer to the door and slipped on his boots and coat. "Let's go talk outside. No one else is home, just me." He buttoned his coat as he walked out the door, closing it behind him. "Now, what do you expect to gain from coming here like this?"

"I want your trust back," Eduard answered. "Tino, I want _you_ back. I was wrong to leave the way I did, and I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with someone like me leaving all the time. If you love me back, I'll take you with me."

Tino began to walk around the yard. "But what about Sigrid and her family?" he asked. "They've all been so good to me. I couldn't just leave them like this." He frowned. "Sigrid would be so upset."

"You should be with someone who loves you," Eduard said. "Someone who doesn't pity you for your unfortunate circumstances. I know they originally must've taken you in out of pity. Don't try to tell me they didn't."

The Finnish boy looked down. Was that really it? "I want to believe that they love me, that I'm part of the family now as well," he softly said.

"Tino, they may see you as a member of the family, but was there ever a time that you didn't feel welcomed by them?"

Tino thought back to when he had first gotten there, how Mathias had taken over a month to warm up to him. He tried to rid the thought from his head. "That's none of your business," he flatly stated. His eyes focused on the shed in the distance. He knew that Berwald was in there. He had to be! "Why should it matter how things were here at first? That was then. This is now."

"And you really believe that?" Eduard asked him. "How naive can you get?" He followed after Tino. "Be with someone who has always loved you."

"Are you trying to stake a claim to me?" Tino asked, turning to him. "Because what would you do to claim me?" He raised an eyebrow. "I know what Berwald would do."

"Get the Swede off your mind for now," Eduard stated through a clenched jaw. "He's not important right now. What's important is how I feel about you and how you feel about me."

"Then prove how you feel," Tino stated. "Catch me if you can, and prove it to me." He then took off running in the direction of the shed.

Eduard smirked and ran after him. He tackled him to the ground about ten meters from the shed. "Listen to me, will you? I love you, Tino. I always have! Ever since we met. That was why I wanted to sleep with you, to establish a connection between us. If you don't feel the connection, then you're lying!" He then pinned Tino beneath him and held his arms down in the snow. "Just be mine, Tino! Please!"

Tino looked up at Eduard with wide, violet eyes. "And if I do?" he tested.

The Estonian boy crashed his lips against Tino's, kissing him with a passion deep inside of him that took Tino off guard. It wasn't like there was anyone around to see what was going on, but Tino was secretly wishing there was. What was he going to do?

There was the sound of a throat clearing, followed by a, "What are you doing to Tino?"

Eduard looked up to find Berwald. "What are you going to do about it, Swede? It looks as if I've won." He narrowed his eyes at the seventeen-year-old. "Give up while you can, Berwald."

Berwald stiffened. "I would never give up on Tino. He never gave up on me." He set his jaw, his mouth forming into a thin line. "Now get off of him, Estonian." His eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "I'm not going to ask again."

Tino didn't make a sound, terrified of how this was going to end. He hadn't expected Berwald to show up. What was going to happen now? His heart hammered in his chest as his breath hitched. He wished he could be anywhere but there. He wanted to hide away as the two battled it out. He found himself shoving Eduard off of him and crawling away.

Eduard stood up to his full height, which wasn't nearly as tall as Berwald. "You want to make it this way, then so be it," he stated. "I won't back down, Berwald Oxenstierna."

Tino's head was spinning. Since when was his life like some weird romance novel that he would find Sigrid reading? He wanted it all to be over. His eyes squeezed shut as he shouted, "Just stop it!"

Berwald and Eduard froze in the yard. They both turned to the trembling Finn, who rose to his feet. Not even Berwald had ever heard Tino shout like that. Both boys were taken aback.

"Stop fighting over me!" he yelled at them. "Do either of you ever stop to think about how I may feel about this?! I wanted Eduard to stay a part of my past! Can't you both just fucking accept that?! Why are you doing this to me?! If you really cared, you would both realize that I don't want this! I just want my life to go back to the way it was, with me living with Berwald and being happy with him!" He stormed over to Eduard and jabbed him in the chest with his finger. "That means you stay in my past where you belong! Yes, we had some fun together for _one night_ , but you left before morning! Do you know how fucking traumatizing that was?!" His eyes narrowed at the Estonian boy. "It took me _years_ to get over that, and here you come just to reopen the wound after it finally healed over! And you!" He stormed over to Berwald. "You just can't leave my past alone, can you?! You just have to keep this going!" He shoved him roughly. "I'm sorry that I'm not perfect, but you two can just go fuck yourselves!" With that, he stormed back off toward the house.

Berwald blinked in surprise, but he didn't go after Tino. He knew what his boyfriend was doing, and just hoped that Eduard would fall for the bait. After all, Berwald knew Tino better than Eduard did.

Eduard, shocked, took off after Tino. "Wait, Tino! Come back!"

As he neared Tino, the Finnish boy turned around, connecting his fist with the Estonian boy's face. Tino could no longer hold back the anger he was feeling and shoved the other boy to the ground.

"Now you listen here!" he shouted at Eduard. "You leave here, and you leave us alone! Don't ever come back! You are not forgiven! You mean nothing to me! You never meant anything to me!" He was surprised that there wasn't steam coming out of his ears. "I slept with you to experiment! That's all! Now leave, and don't you dare come back!"

Eduard's eyes were wide. "Tino, you don't mean that," he softly said.

"Don't mean what?!" Tino demanded. "I mean every fucking word I said! Stay out of my life, Eduard! I want you to stay in my past, where you belong!" His fists clenched tightly. "Or do I need to hit you again to prove that?!"

"What does he have that I don't?" Eduard asked Tino. "I just want an answer. What makes Berwald better than me?"

"Because Berwald will never leave me when I'm vulnerable! Berwald knows what I like and respects my wishes when I say no," Tino said. "Eduard, you will never be even half the man that Berwald is in my book. I want you to leave now. And I don't want you to come back. Ever."

Eduard stiffened up. "If you want things to be that way, then so be it," he stated through clenched teeth. "But one day, when you're all alone after Berwald leaves you for someone else, I want you to remember this decision."

"I will always remember this decision," Tino told him. "But I won't remember it as a bad one." He smiled at Eduard. "Goodbye, Mr. Von Bock."

Berwald watched as Eduard stormed off in defeat. He cautiously approached Tino and placed a hand on his shoulder. "And now comes the time to heal," he simply said.

Tino looked up at Berwald with watery eyes. "I did it," he said. "I did all of it for you. Are you proud of me? I got rid of him." It was almost as if he couldn't believe it himself. "Eduard is gone. He's not coming back."

"He's not," Berwald said. "How do you feel?"

"He was all I really had left of my life in Finland," Tino softly said. "It was hard to let him go."

"It's okay to be sad over it," Berwald said, catching Tino's tears and wiping them away as they began to fall. "Come on, Tino. Let's go inside."

.

Tino sat by the fire in a pensive mood all evening. He had finally rid himself of Eduard, yet he felt empty because there was nothing left of his life in Finland. His eyes never left the flames as he stared into them, thinking deeply.

Berwald left Tino to his thoughts as he cleaned the living room and kitchen for his mother. He hoped that Tino would recover soon and go back to being his old self, but he also knew that things like this took time. He wasn't about to rush Tino into forgetting Eduard, no matter how badly he wanted to. Tino needed to recover on his own.

"Ber, am I a bad person?" Tino asked as Berwald walked past him.

"A bad person?" Berwald asked. He shook his head. "I don't think so, Tino. You were just doing what needed to be done." His eyes closed for a moment as he remembered how defeated Eduard looked as he stormed away. "I'm sorry that you had to do that."

"It was something I had to do on my own," Tino stated. "Nothing anyone else could do for me. If I wanted him to go away, I had to send him away myself." He sighed. "But I don't understand why I feel so empty and dead inside. I didn't love Eduard like I love you, Berwald. So why should I feel this way? Why does it hurt so bad to let go?"

"It's because he was what was left of your life in Finland," Berwald answered. "You know that just as well as I do." He frowned. "I'm sorry that it happened the way it did."

"So am I," Tino softly stated before focusing on the fire once more.

Berwald simply left him to that.

.

That night, Tino snuggled up to Berwald in bed, still thinking over the day. "Did I do that right thing?" he softly asked Berwald. "I keep wondering if I could've done something better."

"You did the right thing," Berwald told him with a nod. "It was the best thing for you to do. Sometimes we need to let go of things."

"I suppose you're right," Tino softly said, frowning. "I just wish it wasn't so hard…" He began to tear up again. "I now have nothing left of my life in Finland."

"Yes, you do," Berwald said. "You'll always have your memories. No one can ever take those away from you." He smiled at Tino. "Trust me, everything is going to be okay. It's okay to start over sometimes."

"I suppose so," Tino softly said. "I just miss Finland."

"And I'm sure the land misses you," Berwald said with a smile. He kissed Tino's forehead. "But you have to remember to keep moving forward, okay? Because if you don't, I have a feeling that you'll regret it one day."

"You think that?" Tino asked, looking up at Berwald with wide, violet eyes. "I hope you're right. I mean, I don't regret kicking Eduard out of my life, but at the same time it was so painful to do. Whenever I looked at him, I saw my childhood with my family. I saw home."

"Can I ask you something?" Berwald asked.

"Ask away."

"Is it okay if I'm home now?" he sheepishly asked. "I mean, I know I'm from an entirely different country and all, but-"

Berwald didn't get another word out before Tino kissed him passionately. Their lips moved on each other's for a few moments before Tino pulled away.

"I love you," Tino softly said. "You'll always be home to me." He smiled at Berwald and cupped his boyfriend's cheek in one of his hands. "Just promise me that I can always come home to you."

"You'll never have reason to doubt my promise," Berwald said, smiling. He kissed Tino once more. "I love you, Tino."

The Finnish boy snuggled up to his Swedish boyfriend. "And I love you, Berwald."

.

The next day, neither boy spoke of what had happened the day before. Tino tried his best not to look so gloomy, and Berwald was constantly looking over at Tino to check on him. It worried Berwald how easily Tino was handling all of this. Surely Tino must be at least a little sad. He really hoped that Tino wasn't just bottling everything up. It would only end in a disaster if he was.

"Berwald, I know I've asked this a million times," Tino began, "but do you think I'm a bad person?" He looked up at Berwald from the couch as the Swedish boy passed by.

"Why would I think that?" Berwald asked, sitting next to Tino on the couch. "You did nothing wrong."

Tino sighed. "I don't know. I feel as if I turned my back on my past."

"You didn't, though," Berwald told him. "Not a chance. If anything, you're finally moving forward, which is good for you." He put an arm around Tino. "I'll help coax you along with way if you'd like it. I know how hard it is to let go of things." He went quiet for a moment. "I remember how hard it was to let go of the hurt when my father died. It destroyed me from the inside out. We were very close." Berwald sighed. "But life tends to go on, whether we're ready or not."

Tino nodded to himself. "I really do need to let go," he decided. "Once and for all. My mother wouldn't want me so sad like this all the time."

"Sad?" Berwald asked. This was the first he had heard of that. How long had Tino been feeling that way?

"Yeah," Tino softly said. "I miss my family, and sometimes I feel like I just want to join them in the afterlife." He sighed. "I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I think about that a lot." His mouth formed into a frown. "More often than I really should…"

"Tino," Berwald softly said, hugging him. "It's okay to miss your family. It's okay to think of them often. But please don't leave me behind. You are everything to me."

Tino sniffled a little. "Ber, I don't want to leave you. It's just that I miss them so much…" He scrubbed at his eyes with his hands. "And when I finally let go of the last person who had known them yesterday, I just…" He burst into uncontrollable sobs. "I'm not strong enough!"

"You've made it this far," Berwald told Tino. "Tino, you don't always have to be strong. It's okay to let your guard down. It's okay to be vulnerable and cry. I will always be here for you. I promise."

"You really mean that?" Tino asked. "Are you sure you can keep that promise?"

"Cross my heart," Berwald said with a nod. "When I said I loved you, I meant I loved everything about you, from your strengths to your weaknesses and everything else that makes you, well, you." He smiled at Tino. "What kind of a man would I be if I couldn't stick with you on your roughest days?"

Tino smiled. "You make me very happy, Berwald. Sometimes, I feel as if I don't deserve to be so happy with you."

"You deserve everything, Tino," Berwald said. "Never let anyone else tell you that you don't."

The Finnish boy was quiet for a moment. "Berwald?"

"Yes?"

"Never leave me," Tino decided. "I want to be with you until the day I die. I know I'm young, but I love you." He looked up at Berwald with wide, violet eyes. "You asked if you could be my new home yesterday, and I've thought more and more about that. The truth is, I want you to be everything for me, not just home." His cheeks turned a rosy pink. "So I decided I want to be yours, and yours alone. That is, if you'll have me."

"I'd be an idiot if I said no," Berwald said with a soft smile. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you as well, Tino. I want to wake up next to you every morning. I want to know that you love me. I want to spend every moment of my life thinking that I am the luckiest man in the world. Who cares if we're young? We've found love." He kissed Tino's forehead. "Yes, Tino. I'll have you."

Tino smiled and snuggled into Berwald. "You've made me the happiest man in the world."

Berwald grinned. "The feeling is mutual." He snuggled Tino closer as he laid his head on top of his partner's. "Who knows? Maybe one day we can get married."

"I would like that," Tino said with a smile. "It may be years from now, but when the world finally accepts our kind of love for what it is, I will gladly marry you."

Berwald chuckled to himself as he held Tino close to him.

"What is it?" Tino asked.

He shook his head. "And they say dreams can't come true…"

.

 _The End._


	15. Epilogue

_September, 1955, Stockholm, Sweden_

Tino sat on the couch in his and Berwald's home. He sighed as he looked through the newspaper and eventually put it down, frowning. He felt as if Berwald were beginning to tire of him, having been in a sexless partnership with him for over fifteen years. His eyes fell to his left hand, where he wore a white-gold band. Berwald had wanted them to get matching rings, even if they couldn't wed, which Tino was overjoyed to agree to. But now he was wondering how much longer Berwald would even want to be with him.

He leaned against the back of the couch and blew his bangs out of his eyes. What could he do? Tino loved Berwald more than he had ever loved anyone before. There was no way he could ever live without that wonderful Swedish man. He knew that much.

As he sat there, he began to think about what he could do to keep Berwald. He knew of one way, and as he thought more and more about it, he realized that it was what he wanted. Tino was finally ready to sleep with Berwald. He loved him enough, and Berwald had never pressured him, so he finally felt ready. Everything suddenly felt right to him.

.

When Berwald came home from their office that evening, he looked a bit worn down. Tomorrow would be Tino's day there, taking orders for sculptures and sketching them out. They took turns at the office with every day, making sure someone was also at home to tend to the house and watch their puppy, Hanatamago.

Tino ran over to Berwald at the door and hugged him tightly. "Ber!" he excitedly said. Even though he had just saw him that morning, he knew he would always be excited to see Berwald no matter when he came home.

"How was your day, Tino?" Berwald asked him. A smile played on his lips as he hugged Tino back. This was what made a day at the office worth it every time.

"It was good. Hana napped most of the day while I read," Tino answered. He shrugged a little. "Also, I've been thinking about something."

"What's that?" Berwald asked, pulling away from Tino and shrugging off his light jacket. He then bent down to untie his boots.

Tino took a deep breath. "I'm ready," he told Berwald.

Berwald almost laughed. "Ready for what, Tino?"

The Finnish man bent down to his partner's level and kissed him deeply, taking Berwald by surprise. "I mean, _I'm ready_ ," he said when he pulled away.

The Swedish man's eyes widened in understanding. For fifteen years, he had been waiting for Tino to say those words to him. He had waited so patiently, and now it was really going to happen. He was finally going to have sex with the man he loved.

Tino pulled Berwald to his feet once his boots were off. "Come on, Ber," he said, nodding toward their bedroom down the hall. "Let's go."

Berwald had to keep himself from stumbling after Tino down the hall. He felt as if he were in a daze, a trance that he couldn't get out of. Was this really happening? His mind couldn't focus on anything but Tino. All he had truly wanted for years was this amazing Finnish man, and now it was finally going to happen.

He closed the door after them so the dog wouldn't interrupt them. And as he turned back to Tino, his lips were met by his partner's. His arms wrapped around Tino's waist as he pulled him closer. Berwald was determined to cherish everything about this.

As Tino kissed Berwald, he could feel his pants becoming tighter as he became more and more aroused. He wanted this. He truly wanted this. This is what they had both been waiting for, and it was going to happen. Tino could barely contain his excitement as he began to unbutton Berwald's shirt.

Berwald was a step ahead of him and was finishing unbuttoning the bottom of it. Their hands met on the final button and it felt as if electricity were shooting through the two of them. He quickly shrugged the shirt off and began working on getting Tino's off.

Tino was beginning to grow impatient and quickly took his shirt off. His hands then went to Berwald's belt. He could feel just how aroused his partner was and wanted to tend to him as fast as he could. The moment was drawing nearer and nearer as he undid the belt and unbuttoned Berwald's pants.

The Swedish man was working on Tino's as Tino worked on his, and soon they were only clad in boxers. That was when Berwald lifted Tino up and laid him out on the bed as they kissed. He trailed kisses down Tino's neck to his collar bone.

"Are you ready?" Berwald asked Tino, locking his violet gaze with his own blue-green one.

Tino eagerly pulled off his own boxers as Berwald did the same. "Yes," he told him. "I've been ready all day.

Berwald began to stroke Tino's fully erect member before he licked his fingers and trailed his hand lower, causing Tino to gasp out when he inserted a finger. His eyes widened, thinking he had hurt Tino.

"No," Tino told him, knowing what he was thinking. "I'm not hurt at all."

And within moments, they were finally doing what they had both been waiting for.

.

Tino woke early the next morning in pure bliss. He had never felt this amazing in his entire life. And the best part to him was that he didn't wake up alone. Berwald was still asleep right next to him.

He began to compare his two experiences with each other and realized how truly different they both were. Where Edward had been more rough with him, Berwald was very gentle and patient with him. But the part that meant the most to him was that Berwald was still there when he woke up. That was when Tino knew for sure that he would always love him.

Berwald's eyes opened as he peered over at Tino, who was propped up on his arms, looking over at him. "Good morning, Tino," he told him. "Today is going to be a great day."

"Why do you say that?" Tino asked with a coy grin.

"Because today I'm still here, and I love you more and more every day," Berwald told him. His hand gripped Tino's.

Tino blushed and smiled down at him. "I love you too," Tino told him, squeezing his hand. "And I know tomorrow will be even better."

"Oh really?" Berwald asked. "Why's that?"

"Because I know you'll still be here tomorrow morning," Tino answered. "And the morning after, and every morning for the rest of our lives." He leaned down and kissed Berwald softly. "And I'll look forward to it every time."

Berwald smiled at him. "So will I." He pulled Tino down on top of him and kissed him again. "You are everything I ever hoped for. I'm not going anywhere, so don't you go anywhere either."

"I never planned on that," Tino said with a soft giggle. "Why would I ever want to leave my heart behind?" He snuggled into Berwald and smiled. "I'll never love anyone else."

"You'll never have to," Berwald told him. "Because I'll always be right here."

"Promise?" Tino asked him, smiling widely.

Berwald pointed to the white-gold band on his finger that matched Tino's. "Haven't I already made that promise to you?" he joked. "I promise to stay by your side for as long as I live."

Tino yawned and snuggled closer to Berwald. "And I promise the same to you. You are the love of my life."

.

 _A Few Weeks Later_

Tino was sitting in the living room with Berwald, reading the paper, when Berwald turned on the radio. It was on an English station, but Tino was finally able to understand English, so he was able to enjoy the music on there. He began to tap his foot and hum along to the radio.

"Is this an older station?" Tino asked Berwald.

Berwald hummed in confirmation. He was busy reading a book in his chair by the fire. As he turned a page in his book, he looked up as a familiar tune began to play.

Tino looked up as well, eyes wide. He locked eyes with Berwald and smiled widely. "Ber, you know what song this is, right?"

The Swedish man was already rising to his feet. He held out his hand to Tino. "May I have this dance?" he softly asked. His gaze was focused solely on Tino.

The younger man took his lover's hand, smiling. "You may," he told him, feeling Berwald pull him closer as they began to slow dance in the middle of their living room. His gaze held nothing but love and admiration for the man that he was dancing with. He wanted nothing more than to dance with him like this forever.

The voice on the radio began to sing, " _I never cared much for moonlit skies._

 _I never winked back at fireflies._

 _But now that the stars are in your eyes,_

 _I'm beginning to see the light._ "

Berwald began to sing along. " _I never went in for afterglow_

 _Or candlelight on the mistletoe._

 _But now when you turn the lamp down low_

 _I'm beginning to see the light._ "

Tino grinned as he sang in English, " _Used to ramble through the park._

 _Shadowboxing in the dark_

 _Then you came and caused a spark_

 _That's a four-alarm fire now._ "

Berwald began to twirl Tino and then pulled him back closer as they danced. He wanted this moment between them to last forever, dancing to their favorite song, the song that brought them together. His lips met Tino's when he pulled him closer.

" _Now that your lips are burning mine,_

 _I'm beginning to see the light,_ " Berwald sang.

Tino blushed. "Berwald, you're amazing," he softly said. "I love you so much." He leaned his head on Berwald's shoulder as they continued dancing. That moment was so perfect to him, and he wanted it to last forever. It was times like this where he wished that he and Berwald were immortal, that way they could be like this forever.

"I love you too," Berwald told him, swaying them back and forth as Ella Fitzgerald sang. He used his hand on Tino's waist to pull him closer. "You're everything I've ever wanted and more."

The Finnish man took a deep breath and smiled. "I could say the same for you. Just never leave me, okay?"

"I don't ever plan to." Berwald dipped Tino low and kissed him when he brought him back up. "And that's a promise."

Tino smiled widely. He honestly felt like the luckiest man in the world. Happily ever afters really did happen.

.

 _Late October, 1977, Stockholm, Sweden_

"Why can't you just listen to me for once?!" Tino tearfully demanded, glaring at Berwald. "It's really not that big of a deal at all! For fuck's sake, Berwald! I _live_ with you! I _sleep_ with you! I love _you_ , okay?! What's so hard about that to understand?!"

Berwald was glaring back at him. "I know what you're like when you're flirting, Tino," he growled at him. "And you were flirting with the man at the office!"

"I was not!" Tino shouted at him. "Ever since I was sixteen years old, my heart has belonged to _you_ and only _you_! Berwald, we are in our fucking fifties! Why would you think I would love any man but you?! We've been together for nearly thirty-seven years! I'm not like some silly teenage girl of this current generation who would sleep with anyone!" He scrubbed at his eyes, hating how fighting with Berwald always made him cry like this. "Why don't you believe me?!"

"I walked into the office and you were leaning toward him with a flirtatious look in your eyes!" Berwald argued. He had grown insanely jealous of other men ever since the situation with Eduard, usually demanding to know what happened between them and Tino. Though he hated making Tino cry like this, he just wanted the assurance that Tino still loved him.

"Berwald, that's not even what was going on!" Tino argued back. "That's what you thought was going on because of your jealousy! I was leaning toward him because he was mumbling!"

The Swedish man's glare hardened. "Likely story, Finn."

"It's the truth, _Swede_ ," Tino shot back, narrowing his eyes in a glare. He _dared_ Berwald to say another word, glare hardening.

Berwald knew better than to say anything else, so he simply turned toward the door and began putting his boots and coat on. "I'm going to the shed," he grumbled at Tino. "Just let me know when dinner is ready." He then stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

How could he have gotten so worked up like that? He hated how jealous he was and knew that he would apologize to Tino when he went in for dinner, but he would still be upset with himself for flying off the handle on him like that. What had even possessed him to yell at Tino? The guilt sink on him more and more as he walked further and further from their house.

He wished that Hanatamago were still alive. She could always cheer up Tino after a fight, but she had died a few years back, much to their dismay. If anything, that dog could always brighten them up with her unconditional love, always reminding Berwald that he should love Tino unconditionally as well.

"Dammit," he muttered to himself, throwing open the door of the shed. He was getting so worked up over the guilt of making Tino cry. His chest was beginning to ache, so he leaned heavily on his workbench, supporting himself.

Berwald's back began to feel stiff and started to ache. He could feel slight pain in his neck and jaw as well. A feeling of heartburn began to fill his chest as the pain spread to his left arm.

"No," he muttered to himself as the pain spread to his chest. "No! Tino!" he yelled. But he knew Tino wouldn't be able to hear him.

He was cursing himself for getting so angry with him as he fell to the floor of the shed, clutching at his chest and gasping out in pain. Was he dying? He couldn't be! No, he had to tell Tino he was sorry and that he loved him at least one more time!

His heart felt as if it were being stabbed with a knife. No, this was too soon! He couldn't go like this! That wasn't fair to Tino! He was supposed to be with him forever! He couldn't die of a heart attack in their shed, especially right after they had a fight.

The pain was becoming unbearable as he yelled out in pain. "Tino!" he tried to shout, but his breath was caught. It was then that he knew he was going to die. There was no way Tino would get to him on time.

"I'm sorry, Tino," he softly said. "I love you." Though he knew that Tino would never hear those words, he knew he had to say them as his vision became blurred and then dark.

.

An hour later, Tino made his way down to the shed. He had cried it all out and was ready to forgive Berwald. He liked to make a habit of not going to bed angry. And it wasn't like their fight was over anything huge anyway. All he wanted was to melt into Berwald's embrace of forgiveness. That was what he truly needed at the moment.

He opened the door to the shed and peered in. He didn't see Berwald anywhere. Where was he? As Tino stepped in, he could sense that something wasn't right.

"Ber?" he called. "Berwald, are you in here?" He cautiously looked around. His eyes scanned the dimly lit shed. "This isn't funny, Berwald." Tino fumbled on the wall for the lightswitch, but when the lights flickered on, he couldn't see Berwald. "Berwald?"

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Tino felt his skin beginning to crawl. Where was Berwald? If this was some sort of joke, it wasn't funny. He was starting to get scared. He knew that getting angry at their ages was bad for their health.

His eyes widened in horror. He needed to find Berwald, and he needed to find him fast. He was beginning to panic. Tino looked around the room.

"Berwald!" he cried out, voice weak. He took another step forward into the shed. "Berwald, please come out! This isn't funny!"

Tino felt his foot hit something and screamed in horror when he looked down to find Berwald on the floor, unmoving. "Berwald!" he cried out, falling to his knees. "Oh, God! No! No, this isn't real! This can't be happening! This isn't happening! Berwald, wake up! For the love of Odin, please wake up!" He began shaking his lover, trying to rouse him from whatever sleep he was in. "Berwald, open your eyes!"

Tears began to flow down his cheeks. "Berwald, please!" he begged. "Things can't end this way! They can't! I never got to tell you that I'm sorry!" He placed his hands on Berwald's cold face. "Please wake up, Berwald!"

That was when he dared to check for Berwald's pulse. His fingers slowly crept down to beneath Berwald's jaw. He felt nothing, not even the slightest hint of a pulse. Hot tears burned at his eyes. This couldn't be real. There was no way Berwald was dead!

"No!" Tino shouted at him. "You can't be dead! You promised to be with me forever, Berwald! You can't just leave me now! That's not fair!" He held Berwald's body in his arms. "Ber, you promised! You promised!"

He let his tears fall as he tried to convince Berwald to come back because of his promise, but he could tell that Berwald was long gone. There was nothing he could do but call emergency services to come and retrieve the body. Why was this day so unfair?

"Berwald, I'm sorry," Tino whispered to him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it when I yelled at you! I was just so frustrated! But you truly are the only man I will ever love! I swear it on what's left of my life!" He kissed Berwald's face, wishing that could bring him back. "I love you so much!"

.

 _November, 1979, Stockholm, Sweden_

Tino trudged through the snow-covered cemetery, hands buried deep in his pockets as the snow whipped his snowy-white hair around his face. Tears stung at his eyes as he approached the headstone that read " _Berwald Oxenstierna_ ". He fell to his knees before it, not caring about the snow anymore. His arms wrapped around the headstone and began sobbing, just like he had done nearly every time he had come here for the past two years.

"It's hard, Ber," Tino softly told the grave. "I miss you so much. It's so hard not having you around anymore! I don't even want to be alive!" He leaned his head on the headstone. "But I know you wouldn't want me to die just for your sake. You would say that's rather petty, wouldn't you? That'd be just like you."

He was quiet for a few moments. "It's so hard to live in a world without you, Berwald. We didn't even get married yet. How could you just leave me behind like this?

"I'll never forgive myself for the way I spoke to you right before you left me. I shouldn't have said such mean words." He bit his lip. "I can't help but think that I'm the reason you had that heart attack. I blame myself for it every day. I know you don't hate me in the afterlife, Ber, but I can't help but hate myself."

Tino found himself losing every ounce of sanity he had left. "I hate living in this world without you, Berwald! I've lost everything! My family, Hanatamago, you..." His tears poured down his face. "I hate what my life has become! People see me sometimes and they just don't know what to say!

"Everyone thinks that when you died, I only lost my business partner, but we both know that's a lie," Tino softly said through his tears. "I lost everything. I lost my partner in crime, my best friend, my lover, everything…"

Tino's lips met the headstone, not even caring what had ever been on it. "I love you so much, Berwald, even now. It's been two years, and I love you just as much as I did when I was only sixteen years old. I know that I'll always love you, and never another man for as long as I live. But how I wish I could join you in the afterlife. It must be amazing."

He could see that the sun was setting, which meant he would have to leave soon. "Please tell my family that I'm doing okay, and that I'll be there whenever my time comes. I love you so much, Berwald."

Tino sat up straight and then stared at Berwald's grave for a few moments before softly signing, " _I never cared much for moonlit skies._

 _I never winked back at fireflies._

 _But now that the stars are in your eyes,_

 _I'm beginning to see the light._ "

He slowly rose to his feet and patted the headstone. "I'm glad I had you, Berwald. You made me see the light. And oh, how beautiful it truly was."

.

 _The End_


End file.
